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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think they should have told me they’d taken it?

306 replies

Maybellissimo · 14/03/2018 17:12

My best friend died of stomach cancer 5 years ago and left me a few of her possessions, one of which being a Victorian plant stand. A few months ago I decided to get it French polished so I arranged for a friend to come and collect it on a Friday morning. He was stuck in traffic so he told me to leave it on my driveway as he was only 5 mins away and I had to leave for work. I left it behind the wheelie bins it was partially obscured but you would have to move the bin to get to it. I got to work and found a message on my phone from my friend saying that the stand wasn’t there. I was really upset and cross with myself for leaving it outside but I accepted the fact it had gone but felt really sad due to the sentimental value attached to it. We had a loft conversion done and i went up to have a look and we have a good view of our neighbours garden. I was shocked to see my plant stand in their garden, painted black and with a new top nailed to it. I showed my husband and he said leave it don’t say anything but AIBU yo knock on their door and have a go at them for not asking me if they could have it?

OP posts:
Original poster
Maybellissimo · 14/03/2018 17:32

cdn3.bigcommerce.com/s-4t00y9r/products/1669/images/15961/4754_1__05911.1507583614.1280.1280.jpg?c=2 It’s the same as this one

OP posts:
Original poster
Maybellissimo · 14/03/2018 17:33

That one is being sold for £595

OP posts:
Babyplaymat · 14/03/2018 17:34

Ask for it back and get it refurbed.

Avasarala · 14/03/2018 17:35

You'll be able to have it restored. If you want to be really picky, you can send him the bill! But seriously go chap on the door right now and get it back; we're rooting for You!

MatildaTheCat · 14/03/2018 17:36

Just ask for it back. Taking property from your garden without consent is stealing. Even scrap metal people ask before taking stuff from skips usually.

Say you’ve noticed it and unfortunately it seems to have been moved to their garden in error and you need it back. Hopefully it can be restored.

LavenderH · 14/03/2018 17:38

I can't believe how no-one is talking about how cheeky they were!

JeffsNewAngle · 14/03/2018 17:38

Talk a moment to get over the upset, and go around.

See it from their perspective that it was out by your bin, and looked like rubbish.

I feel you should have put a label on it, do not remove, for private collection, but that’s a moot point now.

Ask for it back, but understand that they may feel they have done nothing wrong, and they don’t know the back story.

FifiVoldemortsChavvyCousin · 14/03/2018 17:41

Don’t tell them it’s valuable as they will then say ‘finders keepers’.

BarryTheKestrel · 14/03/2018 17:46

They are cheeky as fuck. I put some chairs and a fireplace in my front garden ready to go to the tip. A couple walking past knocked and asked if we were throwing it away and if they could have them and did we want anything for them. It's only polite to ask. You don't take things off another person's property, even if it looks like it's being thrown away.

Go and talk to them.

chloesmumtoo · 14/03/2018 17:48

Shock They should have asked.
You really need to ask for it back, how awful.

TacoFlavouredKisses · 14/03/2018 17:49

I've seen a few times on here people mention that they've left a bulky item in their front garden with a note on saying "free to a good home" to get it shifted. That's normal. Helping yourself to something in someone's garden without asking (whether by a bin or not) is cheeky at best and theft at worst. Especially cheeky when it's your neighbour and they have had ample opportunity to mention or hey, even say thanks for their nice freebie.

YANBU to politely explain and ask for it back, OP.

PurplePirate · 14/03/2018 17:49

Just go and talk to them! Treat it as an honest mistake .

DontOpenDeadInside · 14/03/2018 17:49

Go take it back. Same applies. It's in their garden (like it was yours). Maybe help yourself to a gnome or 2 too.
Cfers.

SilverDragonfly1 · 14/03/2018 17:49

This is why I always ask before taking any apparent cast-offs from the neighbours. We have an unwritten understand in this area that things left on the property line are unwanted, but I always think 'what if...?'

diddl · 14/03/2018 17:49

Well they made a wrong assumption didn't they?

It wasn't left as rubbish & now that you know where it is you'd like it back.

How lucky that it hadn't been stolen as you thought, but taken in error by them.

Maryann1975 · 14/03/2018 17:50

There is loads of stuff by my bin, no one has ever taken any of it ‘by mistake’. You need to speak to them and find out why they’ve taken it.

Titaniumpins · 14/03/2018 17:51

For the senitmental value and if you are 100% sure I would go round and gently explain the situation. Jeez its bad manners if the bins were on your property to not ask.

kaytee87 · 14/03/2018 17:52

Bloody hell, how cheeky!
Yes, I would go round. I'd be calm about it but firm. Tell them you left it out for someone to collect for polishing, not so they could take it. Explain to them it was left to you by someone and is worth a lot of money.

Mrsderekshepard · 14/03/2018 17:55

I would go round and ask if they had seen anyone take it as you left it hidden for a friend to collect

PeapodBurgundy · 14/03/2018 17:58

In no way is it a misunderstanding. They came into your property, uninvited, and rook something. If you'd put it by the bin on the kerbside, it becomes fair game imo, but not items from your property.

I put some bits on the front path ready for the council to collect later in the day (no garden and the van won't fit down the alley). By the time the council van arrived that afternoon, only one of the five items was still there, but EVERY person knocked on the door to ask if they could have it before taking, and I live in a seriously shitty area where you would be fair to assume that if it's not nailed down, it will go!

If I was brave enough I's both ask for it back, and for them to pay a professional to attempt to restore it to its original state. In reality I'd likely seethe in silence. If you're up for speaking to them, go for it, you're within your rights, and definitely nbu.

Furiosa · 14/03/2018 17:58

I know it's irrelevant to the fact they took your property but what was the time scale between the planter being stolen and you seeing it in their garden?

FabulouslyFab · 14/03/2018 17:59

Definitely ask them about it. If they thought it was rubbish they still should have asked you first x

Ratarse · 14/03/2018 18:00

Anyone who thinks you should have to label things so people don't steal them off your property need to give their head a wobble Grin. 'Please do not steal', ummm yeah ok.

This is just plain wrong, they came on to your property, it doesn't matter where it was. Cheeky gets. Tell them you want it back, don't ask.

CastielIsMyAngel · 14/03/2018 18:01

They’re not thieves. It was a misunderstanding

Going on to somebody else's property and TAKING something without permission is actually theft!! Misunderstanding?? Ha

ChasedByBees · 14/03/2018 18:04

I would absolutely ask for it back.