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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think they should have told me they’d taken it?

306 replies

Maybellissimo · 14/03/2018 17:12

My best friend died of stomach cancer 5 years ago and left me a few of her possessions, one of which being a Victorian plant stand. A few months ago I decided to get it French polished so I arranged for a friend to come and collect it on a Friday morning. He was stuck in traffic so he told me to leave it on my driveway as he was only 5 mins away and I had to leave for work. I left it behind the wheelie bins it was partially obscured but you would have to move the bin to get to it. I got to work and found a message on my phone from my friend saying that the stand wasn’t there. I was really upset and cross with myself for leaving it outside but I accepted the fact it had gone but felt really sad due to the sentimental value attached to it. We had a loft conversion done and i went up to have a look and we have a good view of our neighbours garden. I was shocked to see my plant stand in their garden, painted black and with a new top nailed to it. I showed my husband and he said leave it don’t say anything but AIBU yo knock on their door and have a go at them for not asking me if they could have it?

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 15/03/2018 18:27

Glad you got it back. Your neighbour's a cunt.

PyongyangKipperbang · 15/03/2018 18:32

FUming to the point where I think you would have a case in small claims for the worth of the item before he wrecked it compared to its worth now, plus your costs for trying to repair the damage.

Even if you dont get any money, him knowing he willingly wrecked something worth hundreds (that he would have hidden and then sold had he known) would keep the thieving bastard awake, which would be a nice revenge.

I really do think you need to let him know how much it was worth before he wrecked iit.

MaggieS41 · 15/03/2018 18:40

It doesn’t fucking matter if they thought it was rubbish!! It was in your driveway! They walked onto your property to get it! It’s bloody rude and I can’t believe people are considering what was going on in the minds of your neighbours! Go get it back please!!!!!

user1483875094 · 15/03/2018 19:18

No doubt they park their car in their front drive, probably close to their bins. Take the car, have it re-sprayed and take off the number plates.
Same difference! Then lie, like they have, when they knock on your door! - Seriously tho' what a horrible thing to do (your neighbours). I really hope you get this resolved and get your treasured stand back. Don't worry about them having painted it black, you can get it restored easily, with a good craftsman. Is there "anything" that can identify the object? a mark, or a carving, or anything like that?

Karigan1 · 15/03/2018 19:21

I would say something. It’s techincally theft. If I leave my bike leaning against a bin andsomeone takes it it’s still theft. I would go round and tell them it was something inherited worth £500 and only there for French polishing.

Teeniemiff · 15/03/2018 19:31

I’m shocked at some of the replies on here!
Where I live something is for scrap when it’s out the front by the Bin. The Bin men would not see something on the drive & walk up to get it- they won’t even do that to get the Bin!
I’d agree it would look like if it was being binned if it was Bin collection day & you had put your Bin out the front & the stand was propped up next to it. Even then though I think it’s courteous to ask, especially a neighbour who you would see. Sounds like they moved quickly in getting it painted etc too! If they were worried it was going to be scrapped (was it even Bin day?) they could of taken it, left it til they saw you & then said they took it incase the Bin men did but did you mind.
This is all irrelevant now anyway OP as I can’t believe their cheek! Ok sorry they took & defaced something with such sentimental value

IJustLostTheGame · 15/03/2018 19:44

Bloody hell some of the responses on here are awful.
Couriers regularly leave my parcels by our bins if I am out, it certainly doesn't make them a free for all.

eloisesparkle · 15/03/2018 19:48

I'm glad you got it back OP
Did they walk up your driveway to your bins and take the plant stand ?
Or were your bins on the sidewalk outside your gate ?

GabsAlot · 15/03/2018 19:48

i know you got it back already but just for reference it is theft -something similar was on a cop program he said i thought it was rubbish the coppers said if its still on their land then its theft to takeit and made them put it back

IThinkThatsWeird · 15/03/2018 20:02

OP, can you post a few photos of the plant stand. I wouldnt be surprised if you could restore it. I can give advice and I’m sure there are other knowledgeable Mumsnetters. It would be a shame to paint it.

AllNamesTakenhell · 15/03/2018 20:13

Wow he is a real POS. Your dp is a wet lettace too, and not supportive at all.

extinctspecies · 15/03/2018 20:42

I'm pretty sure that even if someone has dumped unwanted stuff into a skip, legally you are supposed to get their permission before removing it from the skip for your own use.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 15/03/2018 20:44

We have had all kinds of things taken from our driveway - an old boiler, a radiator, a chair, a bike, half of our reclining sofa...

It seems to be the "done thing" around here that if something is unattended outside; it is up for grabs. I've got used to it but it's a pain!

I really hope your friend can work some magic, OP. Your neighbour is a twat; if they thought it was fair game because it was outside, he wouldn't have hidden it from you!

I'd be happy to take a look and see if any restorer type friends can advise if you want to post a photo.

WiddlinDiddling · 15/03/2018 20:54

Glad you got it back now, when its tidied up and painted white ... get a lovely plant on it and get it put in a front window where they will see it every frigging day.

Then walk about going WHAT PLANT STAND???

Petty? Moi?... pft.

FifiVoldemortsChavvyCousin · 15/03/2018 20:57

My face is so hot, I’m so cross for you. Your neighbor is a CF and your husband goes to the same school. Feel sorry for the neighbor wife.

moofolk · 15/03/2018 21:22

Lots of people up in arms about recycling. Where I live we leave things outside if we don't want them and someone who does will take it.

I don't think your neighbours were unreasonable to take it but neither are you unreasonable to ask for it back. They'll probably be mortified but cooperative, and I can see why you're upset but you did leave it by a bin.

Bad situation all round but I don't think they are thieves or CF.

Hippee · 15/03/2018 21:22

We had a dishwasher and cooker on our driveway (we'd removed them from the kitchen but wanted to keep them until we were sure the new
(second-hand) ones worked okay). They were taken by scrap men without asking. The police took it seriously and said we were right to report it. You shouldn't take anything from someone's property without asking!

moofolk · 15/03/2018 21:23

Ok I missed all the mid-thread drama!

lolalola19 · 15/03/2018 21:59

Ask for it back - they should've at least said 'did you mind'!

FlashTheSloth · 15/03/2018 22:23

Bloody hell! What a pair of utter twats! Part of me thinks it was painted and had a top nailed to it (VERY quickly) to disguise the fact it was yours. They probably thought you wouldn't notice.

Your DH is a fucking twat as well.

MissSeventies · 16/03/2018 00:51

I like others are shocked at some of the responses on here with regard to it being 'fair game' if it is out by the bins. Where I live there is absolutely no precedent for things being left out on the street to be picked up. If anyone did that the neighbours would be up in arms. That being said it was on your driveway whether by the bins or not.

They were trespassing in the first place by coming on to your property without your permission. You may grant a bare licence to the postman to deliver the post but not to your neighbours to root around your driveway.

I am so sorry this has happened to you OP. I do hope you can manage some sort of restoration, but do involve the police and contact your local solicitor and inquire about taking a case for conversion.

People will say, life is too short, move on, relationship with the neighbours etc, but let's be honest the latter is already past saving. Life is too short to let people like this get away with things. They thrive because decent people think they are taking the high road by doing nothing.

... And no it is not a defence that it was beside the bloody bins!

QuackPorridgeBacon · 16/03/2018 01:08

Some people are so odd. Glad you got it back but what a bunch of twats for damaging it so quickly. It’s theft.

PyongyangKipperbang · 16/03/2018 01:13

Those saying stuff left outside is fair game.....

about three years or so a house round the corner from us was gutted by fire. Bog standard 3 bed 60's semi, and it took almost a year to get it back to standard.

The day after the fire my mum walked past and saw "totters" picking through everything the fire crews had thrown out of the windows, the home owners where still in hospital. She shouted at them and they told her to mind her own fucking business unless she wanted a smack. She called the police to be told it was very common :(

But, you know, it was left outside so was fair game, yes?

SmallBlondeMama · 16/03/2018 01:24

It's just a misunderstanding.. just go over and acknowledge that it's awkward but ask for it back. Just explain the situation and I'm sure they will gladly hand it over.

Italiangreyhound · 16/03/2018 01:32

Tell your neighbors how distraught you are to have lost this precious item. Say you have seen it in their garden and think they must have taken it by accident thinking you were throwing it out.

I cannot believe anyone taking an item out of another person's garden. Explain you know it was a mistake but you would like it back.

If they say no, I am not sure there is anything you can do but I would have to at least say something.