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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think they should have told me they’d taken it?

306 replies

Maybellissimo · 14/03/2018 17:12

My best friend died of stomach cancer 5 years ago and left me a few of her possessions, one of which being a Victorian plant stand. A few months ago I decided to get it French polished so I arranged for a friend to come and collect it on a Friday morning. He was stuck in traffic so he told me to leave it on my driveway as he was only 5 mins away and I had to leave for work. I left it behind the wheelie bins it was partially obscured but you would have to move the bin to get to it. I got to work and found a message on my phone from my friend saying that the stand wasn’t there. I was really upset and cross with myself for leaving it outside but I accepted the fact it had gone but felt really sad due to the sentimental value attached to it. We had a loft conversion done and i went up to have a look and we have a good view of our neighbours garden. I was shocked to see my plant stand in their garden, painted black and with a new top nailed to it. I showed my husband and he said leave it don’t say anything but AIBU yo knock on their door and have a go at them for not asking me if they could have it?

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 14/03/2018 19:30

I wouldn't be surprised if you see it disappear now. I would go back round and ask them again to see it just to settle your mind. If they still refuse, you could mention calling the police and saying it's been stolen. Might make them think twice and return it.

AngeloMysterioso · 14/03/2018 19:31

I’d be over the fence in the dead of night, get it back, get it restored. Once it’s no longer black and with whatever they put on top they’ll be unable to prove it’s the one they stole from you.

AngeloMysterioso · 14/03/2018 19:32

Or the diplomatic route... mention you’re going to contact the police and isn’t it a funny coincidence that the exact same one that went missing has turned up in their garden?

Did you have any photos of it that could be used as a comparison?

greendale17 · 14/03/2018 19:35

They knew what they did was wrong and now they are refusing to return it.

Pleas report to the police OP. Don’t let them get away with stealing.

TacoFlavouredKisses · 14/03/2018 19:36

I wouldn't want it back now they've ruined it

I would. And I'd have them restore it now too. No way would I be looking out the window of my new room for however many years on to my stolen antique. Fuck that.

I'd do as has been suggested above and go round to ask to see it, labour the point that it has a great deal of meaning to you and that you have a witness and then, if they still refuse, say you're going to have to go to the police as (one way or another) it has been stolen. Take photos of it from your window before you go round as I can see it mysteriously vanishing not long after the police are mentioned.

userxx · 14/03/2018 19:39

Can't believe they are denying it, that's worse than walking off with it in the first place without permission.

Original poster
Maybellissimo · 14/03/2018 19:42

I went there again and told them that if they took it it’s fine but it has deep sentimental value so I would like it back. They let me in we went into the garden and it isn’t there anymore. They said ‘what plant stand’. I’m now at home drinking wine and crying. Ffs.

OP posts:
Pluckedpencil · 14/03/2018 19:43

Absolute fuckers. You just go and take the it out of their garden now tonight before they have time to move it, what utter piss takers.

Original poster
Maybellissimo · 14/03/2018 19:45

They’ve moved it already. Hidden it.

OP posts:
Pluckedpencil · 14/03/2018 19:45

Cross post. Knew they'd do that, the bastards. This is where I would be supergluing their front door locks tomorrow. But I'm a bit of a loose cannon/ white collar criminal so wouldn't say that it's good practical legal advice.

CatchingBabies · 14/03/2018 19:46

Ring the police it can't have gone far. They clearly know it's yours to hide it.

Serialweightwatcher · 14/03/2018 19:46

That's so disgusting - how did they say that with a straight face when you'd already asked about it and they said they'd had it given ... so sorry OP - some people are such nasty shits Angry

InsomniacAnonymous · 14/03/2018 19:46

Oh the bastards! That is so appalling. I'm so sorry OP, that's extremely upsetting.

InsomniacAnonymous · 14/03/2018 19:47

I think you should contact the police.

BulletWithABun · 14/03/2018 19:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Avasarala · 14/03/2018 19:47

You know they stole it. They know they stole it. And now it's sitting in their house. Give 101 a call and explain; you won't be wasting anyone's time as it's the non emergency number. They can advise you if they police are able to help by popping round, given the value it's not something most people would let go.
Or go back and say "that's it; I've called the police. I had a photo of it in your back garden from my window so I know it was there and you know it was there. You've tried to hide it but we all know you stole it. You've had the chance to return it but now I've called the police" and see what they do.

Original poster
Maybellissimo · 14/03/2018 19:48

To add insult to injury my dh has gone batshit at me for going there. He said it’s my fault for by the bins.

OP posts:
BuffaloCustardbath · 14/03/2018 19:48

How dare they!!! Please get the police involved, they can't be allowed to get away with that, cheeky toads!!

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 14/03/2018 19:49

I was going to say go round again, but I think they have painted themselves into a corner by lying about it and are unlikely to backtrack. I'm swayed by the much simpler solution of going over the fence and reclaiming it. Not normally my style but in this case desperate times call for desperate measures. I think you will need to be quick though. It will magically disappear out of sight before long.

userxx · 14/03/2018 19:51

Wtf!! I'd push dog shit through their letterbox tonight but I'm immature.

beepbeeprichie · 14/03/2018 19:51

Bullshit is it your fault. I keep my planters at the side of the house in winter (no plants in). That’s where my bins are. Doesn’t mean they’re for the rubbish.
Cheeky thieving fecking bastards.
Would your DH go and explain again why it matters to you?
If not I would raise with the police.

LagunaBubbles · 14/03/2018 19:51

Of course it's theft - they took it from your garden without asking you. The things some people here will excuse will never cease to amaze me.

Avasarala · 14/03/2018 19:51

Ignore your husband. I don't normally say that; I'm like "communication is key" but right now, ignore him. He just didn't want to deal with it coz it's hassle but it's not his emotions or sentiment here. It's yours. How you feel is important and this isn't a silly thing. Ignore him, go to another room and call the police. The worst thing they can say is that they can't help you - and then you're no worse off than you are now.

Original poster
Maybellissimo · 14/03/2018 19:52

I’m not going to get the police involved. I’m going to wait til the husband has gone to work and go and see his wife tomo. She’s really nice I’m sure that I can talk her round.

OP posts:
AthenaAshton · 14/03/2018 19:53

I think you WBU to "have a go" at them (I can't bear the idea of people "having a go" at one another, regardless of the provocation), but perfectly ok to explain how it happened and ask for it back.

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