Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think they should have told me they’d taken it?

306 replies

Maybellissimo · 14/03/2018 17:12

My best friend died of stomach cancer 5 years ago and left me a few of her possessions, one of which being a Victorian plant stand. A few months ago I decided to get it French polished so I arranged for a friend to come and collect it on a Friday morning. He was stuck in traffic so he told me to leave it on my driveway as he was only 5 mins away and I had to leave for work. I left it behind the wheelie bins it was partially obscured but you would have to move the bin to get to it. I got to work and found a message on my phone from my friend saying that the stand wasn’t there. I was really upset and cross with myself for leaving it outside but I accepted the fact it had gone but felt really sad due to the sentimental value attached to it. We had a loft conversion done and i went up to have a look and we have a good view of our neighbours garden. I was shocked to see my plant stand in their garden, painted black and with a new top nailed to it. I showed my husband and he said leave it don’t say anything but AIBU yo knock on their door and have a go at them for not asking me if they could have it?

OP posts:
Original poster
Maybellissimo · 14/03/2018 19:53

He’s 100% the one who took it it’s the kind of thing he does.

OP posts:
TacoFlavouredKisses · 14/03/2018 19:54

Yup, time to go 101. You gave them a fair chance to be good humans and they didn't take it.

Your DH is pathetic and should really have your back here.

gladivegotyouforadvice · 14/03/2018 19:54

It's theft. It was on your property, it's yours. They've taken something of yours.

I'd call the police. What a tricky situation for you- having to live next door to them.

Hopefully one will have a conscience and have a quiet word

Do you normally have good relations with them?

You poor thing.

Avasarala · 14/03/2018 19:55

She'd have to completely go behind her husband's back and id imagine that would cause a big fight between them; and he might just take it with him to get rid if it. They will never be able to put it in their garden again, but they don't want to admit they have it so they won't be keeping it. It will go to a friend or something.

I really hope you get it back but these people seem kind of like, the bottom of the barrel of etiquette. I'm so angry for you!

athingthateveryoneneeds · 14/03/2018 19:56

He's gaslighting you.. :(

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 14/03/2018 19:56

They were very presumptious and cheeky not to ask you for it even if they thought it was out with the rubbish bins.

I've had people come and knock on the door to ask for items in a skip before now!

I think you must go and explain that it wasn't out for the rubbish collection. Hopefully they will be mortified and give it you back as opposed to lying to you that they didn't get it from your house!

TacoFlavouredKisses · 14/03/2018 19:57

RTFT Duck.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 14/03/2018 19:58

Yes I have just done thanks for that.

OP I'm sorry. That's shit, all of it.

MynameisJune · 14/03/2018 20:00

Complete and utter fuckers. Honestly call the police or at least threaten them with it.

I knew a friend once, she had a tortoise. When she moved house the tortoise had escaped its pen and was hibernating. They couldn’t find it anywhere. New owner said they’d keep an eye out for it and let her know when it emerged. Anyway fast forward a couple of months and my friend bumps into her old next door neighbour. Who asks if she’d got tortoise back because new owner had found it.

Long story short, he found it, denied finding it, then when confronted with next door neighbours claims admitted it and said he wasn’t giving it back as it was his now. Friend called the police who sent a PCSO round. 30 mins later and tortoise was back with my friend.

Really, try the police.

Cuppaoftea · 14/03/2018 20:01

If you want it back at all I'd call the police for advice now and, if they can't help, demand your DH supports you in going back round there together.

Otherwise I suspect the stand will be gone completely tonight/first thing in the morning. The neighbour clearly doesn't realise it's monetary value and will likely donattw or dump it so you can't prove he stole anything.

timeisnotaline · 14/03/2018 20:01

If you wait a week, see if it appears again and climb the fence and take it back, they haven’t got a leg to stand on. ‘What plant stand?’

Cuppaoftea · 14/03/2018 20:02

*donate

Coffeeisnecessary · 14/03/2018 20:04

I'm so shocked by this! I thought it must be a misunderstanding at first but to deny it's existence is so weird. I so hope you get it back, do they have a shed they could have stashed it in? I think police might be necessary as they could have hidden it inside as well.

Ginkypig · 14/03/2018 20:05

I assume when in its original condition you wouldn't have it in the garden as it wouldn't be weatherproof.

It's really shitty of your neighbour maybe and actually I'm annoyed at your dh too. He knows why this means so much to you so even if he doesn't agree with your course of action he didn't need to make you feel so shit.

Tistheseason17 · 14/03/2018 20:08

Your neighbours are really unpleasant. Sorry. I couldn't do this to someone knowing the sentimental meaning behind it. They should make it reappear in your garden.

DonkeyOil · 14/03/2018 20:08

I’m just asking if I’m bu as my dog thinks I am

I'm sorry, op, but this did make me laugh Grin

YANBU, and it's horrible when people try to make you think that you didn't see what you know you did.

Allywill · 14/03/2018 20:08

It’s theft by finding and is a criminal offence
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Theft_by_finding
Report it to Police

Pluckedpencil · 14/03/2018 20:08

You need to call police fast because next thing they will do is dump or destroy it.

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 14/03/2018 20:11

This is shocking. I hope you get it back OP.

UnicornRainbowColours · 14/03/2018 20:12

I would ring police, they’ve stolen a precious sentimental item. Who cares if you left it buy the bin!! I would still ask If you were throwing it out I wouldn’t take it and destroy it.

EggysMom · 14/03/2018 20:15

Well their two stories don't match up - firstly "given it by a friend" but then "what plant stand?"

But, however annoying this may be, do you really want it back? Now that it's painted and changed? Or are you now reacting out of annoyance rather than sentimentality? It'll never be your late friend's plant stand again, not even if you strip it and repaint it; it will always be the plant stand that your neighbours nicked and that you had to fight to retrieve. Sometimes it's easier to simply let things go.

Eltonjohnssyrup · 14/03/2018 20:16

I would ring police, they’ve stolen a precious sentimental item

Oh FFS. The police would laugh in your face.

diddl · 14/03/2018 20:17

Is it even theft by finding?

It was partially concealed on Op's diveway!

MsMims · 14/03/2018 20:17

That’s awful Shock

Can’t believe they’re denying having it now, what an insult!

Original poster
Maybellissimo · 14/03/2018 20:18

I’m going to speak to the wife tomo morning once he’s left for work and see what happens. I’ll update after. Thanks all

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread