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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think if her child was a daughter she wouldn’t be dressed like pl

180 replies

HolyGoats · 14/03/2018 14:24

I took dc2 to a toddler swimming session today. In the changing room and a mum comes in with her dc. The mum is very hippyish looking - dreads, piercings, lots of baggy clothes etc. Her dc is in a pink frilly dress, wearing a sparkly sort of tiara thing, carrying a silver wand and sparkly paw patrol boots. I vaguely wonder if it’s her child as my hippyish friends all dress their kids in very gender neutral type clothes and definitely not girly, pink stuff.

Anyway, as her dc got changed it was obvious her dc wasn’t a girl. Only noticed because they were both stood there stark naked for way longer than necessary before I get accused of being a pervert.

Am I being cynical in thinking that if her dc was a girl she’d probably be dressed in dinosaur dungarees or similar? It was just such an ott, impractical outfit to wear. I can’t think why you’d dress your dc like that unless to prove some point about how cool and modern you and your child are.

I may be biased though as she was a very irritating woman in the lesson!

OP posts:
Original poster
HolyGoats · 14/03/2018 17:05

Not quite Brighton. Think further west and more bonkers.

OP posts:
eniledam · 14/03/2018 17:11

Wow. People on here need to get a grip.

He's a toddler. He almost definitely picked the outfit out himself, because at that age, you don't give a crap that you have gender norms to conform to rolls eyes. I can guarantee that his mother just let him pick what he wanted and thought no more about it.

Why would she force her daughter to dress in "boyish" clothes (if she had one), OP? That's a stupid and ignorant judgement to make. My kids can wear whatever the hell they like - I'm not going to force them into something they feel uncomfortable in.

It annoys me no end that people have to have opinions on something as ridiculously trivial as what clothes a toddler is wearing. Get a fucking grip.

upsideup · 14/03/2018 17:11

Until we are somehow becoming anatomically identical, boys and girls are different, and don't wear the same outfits.

I really dont understand how childrens genitalia restricts them from wearing clothing? If you have a penis if anything it makes more sense to wear a skirt or dress. How does girl=pink and boy=blue?

Again, ridiculous, and boys would be teased if they turned up at school in a dress.

Should they be though? Do you think girls should be teased if they turn up at school in trousers rather than a school skirt? Should we not tackle the bullying instead?

cucaracha · 14/03/2018 17:12

I bet the mum also gets all huffy if people call the pink-dress-glittery-tiara wearing child "she".

Jenna43 · 14/03/2018 17:12

Well no child of mine would go to a swim class in anything as daft as a princess outfit but then I wasn’t either hip or trendy. Joggers or leggings and no arguments

Totally agree. Some people are under the impression that you can't say no to toddlers...I did, nothing happened.

sevenstars · 14/03/2018 17:15

Well girls can't go to school in trousers (not in the primary mine go to)Confused

Where do all you people live? MN Lala Land?

cucaracha · 14/03/2018 17:16

He's a toddler. He almost definitely picked the outfit out himself

WHO are these toddlers who go clothes shopping by themselves, pick up and try what they fit, do they also have their toddler credit card to pay for their shopping?

I don't know any child who chooses what turns up in his wardrobe, most of them wear hand-me-down anyway.

Jenna43 · 14/03/2018 17:17

So if your son wanted to wear a dress or something pink,you’d say no?

Absolutely, I'd say no. Playing dress up in the house and playing with one of DDs dresses is one thing but to go out in public with a pink dress and sparkly boots is another. I'll probably get a roasting for that but I honestly don't care...maybe I'm not cool enough Grin.

upsideup · 14/03/2018 17:18

Well girls can't go to school in trousers (not in the primary mine go to)confused

WTF do you live? The 50's? All the girls have to wear skirts? I've never come across a primary school where girls can't wear trousers.

MrsDilber · 14/03/2018 17:18

I see where you're coming from OP and I don't disagree with your analogy, but people wouldn't bat an eyelid if it were a little girl wearing dinosaur clothing.

There are kids who genuinely do identify themselves as a different gender and that's just fine. I really hope that lad chose his outfit, the thought of a parent making him, is unpleasant. It's nieve to think these parents don't exist because they do.

VioletteValentia · 14/03/2018 17:20

Absolutely, I'd say no. Playing dress up in the house and playing with one of DDs dresses is one thing but to go out in public with a pink dress and sparkly boots is another. I'll probably get a roasting for that but I honestly don't care...maybe I'm not cool enough

Why?

VioletteValentia · 14/03/2018 17:21

WHO are these toddlers who go clothes shopping by themselves, pick up and try what they fit, do they also have their toddler credit card to pay for their shopping?

My son has ASD and is very vocal about what he won’t wear.

Jenna43 · 14/03/2018 17:23

I still don’t get what’s so unbelievable about boys wearing pink

I don't think it's necessarily about wearing pink, I've seen some lovely pink shirts and t-shirts in the boys selection in some stores. It's more that he was wearing a pink dress, sparkly boots and a tiara on his head. OP is absolutely right, I wouldn't let me DD leave the house like that to go swimming, it's ridiculous...and totally contrived in imo.

BillywigSting · 14/03/2018 17:23

I would presume that's what the kid wanted to wear tbh.

My friends daughter is madly into dinosaurs and also likes pink sparkly things. Some days she is pink and sparkly, others she's a t Rex.

My ds also loves dinosaurs. Often can be seen sporting dinosaur themed clothes.

Otoh, he came home from school today with flowers in his hair because he thought they were beautiful. (they were bedraggled daisies but he really loves flowers and anything floral)

They are 3 and 4.

VioletteValentia · 14/03/2018 17:24

I let my DS wear what he chooses. I pick my battles, and what we wears providing it’s not too cold/warm, isn’t worth having a potential problem over. They’re just clothes shrug

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 14/03/2018 17:24

Maybe the boy was wearing his elder sister's hand me downs?
Or his brother's...

roseblossom75 · 14/03/2018 17:26

I doubt I would have noticed, and if I did notice I wouldn't have given it a second thought.
Too busy getting on with my own life.

upsideup · 14/03/2018 17:26

Jenna43

Except the OP didnt make a thread questioning the practicalities of children wearing a dress and tiara to swimming, She questioned a male child wearing a pink princess dress at all.

sevenstars · 14/03/2018 17:27

upside - girls trousers are not available in the school uniform shop. In summer it's a dress for girls, in winter navy cord skirt and blouse. Boys wear blue cord shorts in summer and trousers in winter. If you turned up in the boys trousers you would be sent home - you can't even mix and match summer and winter items.

This is very typical of most schools as far as I can see.

MsGameandWatching · 14/03/2018 17:28

I'd think the same OP.

cucaracha · 14/03/2018 17:30

I know they will pretend otherwise, but in RL, how many posters would actually be "delighted" to go out somewhere with their DH wearing one of their dresses.

cucaracha · 14/03/2018 17:31
  • to add, or a copy of one of their dresses in the right size that would fit the DH...
sevenstars · 14/03/2018 17:33

cuca Grin
How many women would opt to wear a suit and tie every day and expect nobody to notice?

cucaracha · 14/03/2018 17:39

I would never put my boys in a dress, pink or other, but my comment was for posters who do. What about their DH then?

VioletteValentia · 14/03/2018 17:39

to add, or a copy of one of their dresses in the right size that would fit the DH...

DP and I are the same size. He whinges that I can steal his clothes but he’d get funny looks if he stole mine. Grin

I still don’t see the reasoning for not letting kids wear what they want though.

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