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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if her child was a daughter she wouldn’t be dressed like pl

180 replies

HolyGoats · 14/03/2018 14:24

I took dc2 to a toddler swimming session today. In the changing room and a mum comes in with her dc. The mum is very hippyish looking - dreads, piercings, lots of baggy clothes etc. Her dc is in a pink frilly dress, wearing a sparkly sort of tiara thing, carrying a silver wand and sparkly paw patrol boots. I vaguely wonder if it’s her child as my hippyish friends all dress their kids in very gender neutral type clothes and definitely not girly, pink stuff.

Anyway, as her dc got changed it was obvious her dc wasn’t a girl. Only noticed because they were both stood there stark naked for way longer than necessary before I get accused of being a pervert.

Am I being cynical in thinking that if her dc was a girl she’d probably be dressed in dinosaur dungarees or similar? It was just such an ott, impractical outfit to wear. I can’t think why you’d dress your dc like that unless to prove some point about how cool and modern you and your child are.

I may be biased though as she was a very irritating woman in the lesson!

OP posts:
DalekDalekDalek · 14/03/2018 14:36

You sound delightful OP!

MixedHerbs · 14/03/2018 14:37

Jeez, dn went around in Spider-Man pyjamas and nothing else for two years in the late 90s. DSis had to keep buying identical ones in job lots to keep up.
My own ds had one of those IKEA cat costumes complete with tail. That was a fun six months.

WildFeralLife · 14/03/2018 14:37

I agree with you op. I hate pink... on a girl or a boy!

Greyponcho · 14/03/2018 14:38

She was probably a vegan too, judging by the sounds of her ( Hmm )
Here OP, have a non-vegan Biscuit to help you recover from your ordeal.

(Vegans are lovely, just being sarky about the stereotyping that’s gone on here)

kindermog · 14/03/2018 14:40

Of course I judged them on what they were wearing - that’s what people do.

That’s what judgemental people do.

WildFeralLife · 14/03/2018 14:43

Maybe she did mrsunderwood but how accepting of that outfit would the mother have been had her child been a girl?

DietCokeGirrrrrl · 14/03/2018 14:44

@OutyMcOutface but OP has no evidence for that whatsoever. She's just assumed, based on her own prejudiced opinions of the woman's own clothes, that she has forced her son into something. Who knows what would have happened if she'd had a daughter - the point is OP couldn't possibly know and is just making rafts of negative assumptions based on no evidence.

DalekDalekDalek · 14/03/2018 14:45

"Maybe she did mrsunderwood but how accepting of that outfit would the mother have been had her child been a girl?"

Who knows. None of us are that woman (I would think). How the Hell do you know? Maybe she LOVES pink!

MarklahMarklah · 14/03/2018 14:45

Of course I judged them on what they are wearing - that’s what people do.

Do they? I don't. I look beyond the clothes to the person.

Young children tend to wear clothes of a similar style to their parents.
True. We both have food stains down our fronts where we have dropped our dinners. However, my DC favours dresses, the more swirly and sparkly the better, whereas I prefer jeans & sweatshirts. As soon as my DC was able to dress independently then they were allowed to get on with it. If the clothing was inappropriate for the weather, it would be modified.

KateAdiesEarrings · 14/03/2018 14:45

I'd think she let the DC choose their own clothes. Surely wands and Paw Patrol are gender neutral? Wink

Original poster
HolyGoats · 14/03/2018 14:47

Bollocks kindermog I cant believe you don’t make some assumptions about people based on their clothing. I’m unsure who I’ve been stereotyping. Young children are generally dressed n a similar style to their parents. I live in a very hippyish part of the country. It is generally fairly safe to make a few, very vague assumptions about someone if the are dressed in a similar way to this woman was.

OP posts:
Original poster
HolyGoats · 14/03/2018 14:49

I don’t think she forced him into it by any means. Just that that she is probably more willing for a boy to be dressed like that and for a girl to be dressed in more practical clothing.

OP posts:
upsideup · 14/03/2018 14:50

I’m guessing

Dont, its none of your business. You may see my long haired 4 year old ds out wearing a dress up tiara and a princess dress, youll also see his older sister wearing the exact same and younger sister only every wearing 'boys clothes' because I let my children wear whatever the fuck they want.
Judge away.

upsideup · 14/03/2018 14:51

I agree with you op. I hate pink... on a girl or a boy!

So you dont wear it. Some boys like pink and some girls like pink, it really doesnt affect you if they want to wear it.

sinceyouask · 14/03/2018 14:52

I can’t think why you’d dress your dc like that unless to prove some point about how cool and modern you and your child are.

Oh, I'm sure if you put a little effort into it, you could think of some other possible reasons.

Mishappening · 14/03/2018 14:53

My wee GS used to love to wear the sparkly dresses and shoes in the dressing up box. His choice; no problem. He grew out of it!

DullAndOld · 14/03/2018 14:54

HolyGoats you have zero idea of what she might or might not have dressed this non existent girl in have you?
However I do agree with you that ofc people judge on clothes. If someone claims not to, I think they are deluded.
I have some lovely formal jackets, I swear I could commit a murder in one, and get off on the basis of having a nice jacket.

WildFeralLife · 14/03/2018 14:54

I don’t upside but my dd fucking loves pink so she dresses head to toe in it most days (I hate it! But let her get on with it)

EnglandKeepMyBones · 14/03/2018 14:54

Why do you care?

Kleinzeit · 14/03/2018 14:56

If the child had been a girl, would you have felt it necessary to come on MumsNet to remark on the hippy mum/frilly child contrast?

Theresasmayshoes11 · 14/03/2018 14:56

Mumsnet

I never ever judge and allow all my children to dress exactly how they like and no one st all in my family playgroup nursery or school ever comment in my ds wearing a pink tutu and carrying a wand.

Real life. everyone judges just some won’t sdmit to it and a boy in a dress would cause comments even if it may not to the parents face. Most people would see the parents as tiresome

itsgoodtobehome · 14/03/2018 14:58

I know where you are coming from op. It just smacks a bit too try hard - ooooo look at me and my don’t care attitude of what my son wants to wear. Yaaaawn.....he probably wanted to dress as a dinosaur really!!!

DullAndOld · 14/03/2018 14:59

OP do you live in Brighton by any chance?

BarbarianMum · 14/03/2018 15:02

Maybe she just thinks children should decide what they wear? Ds2 would have loved that outfit age 2/3.

Coyoacan · 14/03/2018 15:04

if she was a girl I’m guessing the mum would be much more encouraging dinosaurs than pink sparkles

You can encourage all you like, IMHO. I was a tomboy and found girl's things so boring I just automatically assumed my dd would be the same. However it was not to be. She had lovely dungarees that she refused to wear from a year and a half of age. Just because you are their mother does not give you the right to impose your style on them.

Still, I probably would have thought the same as you, OP.