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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think if her child was a daughter she wouldn’t be dressed like pl

180 replies

HolyGoats · 14/03/2018 14:24

I took dc2 to a toddler swimming session today. In the changing room and a mum comes in with her dc. The mum is very hippyish looking - dreads, piercings, lots of baggy clothes etc. Her dc is in a pink frilly dress, wearing a sparkly sort of tiara thing, carrying a silver wand and sparkly paw patrol boots. I vaguely wonder if it’s her child as my hippyish friends all dress their kids in very gender neutral type clothes and definitely not girly, pink stuff.

Anyway, as her dc got changed it was obvious her dc wasn’t a girl. Only noticed because they were both stood there stark naked for way longer than necessary before I get accused of being a pervert.

Am I being cynical in thinking that if her dc was a girl she’d probably be dressed in dinosaur dungarees or similar? It was just such an ott, impractical outfit to wear. I can’t think why you’d dress your dc like that unless to prove some point about how cool and modern you and your child are.

I may be biased though as she was a very irritating woman in the lesson!

OP posts:
VioletteValentia · 14/03/2018 16:41

boys in pink and dresses are just ridiculous

So if your son wanted to wear a dress or something pink, you’d say no?

sevenstars · 14/03/2018 16:44

I have never in my life seen a boy in a dress going around as if it's nothing remarkable at all. I live in London, so plenty of kids about.

Bluelady · 14/03/2018 16:45

Mine was a Spider-Man outfit addict too. He had to be prised out of it at bed time every third day or so for it to go in the wash. When he was a teenager it was heavy metal tshirts and shoulder length hair. They wear what they want, is that so hard to understand?

ToastyFingers · 14/03/2018 16:46

Ha. I'd probably look like a hippy to you, I'm tattooed, pierced and have half my hair shaved off.

Dd1 wears some mad shit when I let her. She's a full on sparkly pink princess, despite me being the opposite. I tried to get her to wear a pretty camp print dress last week and she said ''ugh mummy, it's all grey and sludgey. I like pink.''

Perhaps the woman just let's her kid wear whatever he fancies.

VioletteValentia · 14/03/2018 16:46

I have. I mistook him for a girl and his mom said “he dressed himself and really liked this skirt”. That was it. No judgement necessary.

Bluelady · 14/03/2018 16:46

How do you know, seven?

PinkyBlunder · 14/03/2018 16:46

boys in pink and dresses are just ridiculous,

Genuinely interested in the missing part of this sentence, could you elaborate? I’ll start you off;

boys in pink and dresses are just ridiculous, because.......

ToastyFingers · 14/03/2018 16:47

Also, there are plenty of boys in dresses. There was one in my class throughout primary school. This was the 90s too and nobody cared.

VioletteValentia · 14/03/2018 16:48

My own son likes wearing Disney dresses at nursery. Why would anyone be judging that?

sevenstars · 14/03/2018 16:49

Well all my kids have gone through nursery over the past ten years. We know who the boys and girls are and not once, ever, has a boy turned up as a fairy or even wearing pink! I find this a parallel universe!

icedtea · 14/03/2018 16:50

I agree and would also be irritated. She was trying to make a point - obvious by the fact they stood there stark naked way longer than necessary.

Unlike some posters here, I do care about this and think it is not healthy. Her actions are supportive of the transgender agenda, and if you think that is not harmful have a look at some recent threads at where that is heading.

Theresasmayshoes11 · 14/03/2018 16:51

Sevenstars

5 kids and me neither. It’s a mumsnet parallel I tell you

Notwhatthedogsaid · 14/03/2018 16:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

toomuchtooold · 14/03/2018 16:52

I know what you mean OP (I thought it was quite clear what you meant but apparently not, looking at the thread Confused) DH's dad was a bit like that with DH and his brothers - being liberal was a very strong part of his identity and he wanted them to grow up to develop their own opinions but was really miffed when those opinions weren't the same as his.

upsideup · 14/03/2018 16:52

boys in pink and dresses are just ridiculous, and of course most people in RL judge. It's totally unecessary

I know right! Its like when parents let their little girls wear trousers and blue tshirts with dinosaurs on, totally unecessary they should just all be made to wear pink dresses.

VioletteValentia · 14/03/2018 16:54

I still don’t get what’s so unbelievable about boys wearing pink.

SpringEquinox · 14/03/2018 16:55

Agree, OP

sevenstars · 14/03/2018 16:56

Girls wearing jeans and blue tops is hardly the same thing and it's disingenuous to pretend the reaction out and about would be the same when we all know, full well, it would not be.

UnsuspectedItem · 14/03/2018 16:56

YANBU though this is Mumsnet so you'll be told that it is of course completely normal to show case a child in insane clothing. They could have suffered a terrible scarring event aged 18 months involving a glitter fairy and maybe the Mum has a hidden disability or PND... I mean nobody could possibly judge her or think she's making using her child to make a political point, she's obviously strong and brave and a perfect parent.

CrazyCatMamma · 14/03/2018 16:57

She sounds like a tit OP. Probs the same type who will turn round next year and say her 3 yo is trans.
Fucking nutters - same as half the folk on here.

upsideup · 14/03/2018 17:01

sevenstars

100 years ago it would not have been socially acceptable for little girls to wear trousers, feminism has allowed girls and women to wear what they want.
It sad that people claim to fight for 'equality of the sexes' but are still holding on to not allowing boys to wear what they want.

cucaracha · 14/03/2018 17:01

Boys don't need to dress up as girls, and at that age, they are only pushed by their parents. If a 20 year old man wears a pink dress, he will have chosen it. A 3 year old does as he is told, and wears what has been bought for him.

In the RL, people would think Tony Blair or Prince William look ridiculous if they were wearing a pink tutu.

Until we are somehow becoming anatomically identical, boys and girls are different, and don't wear the same outfits. I am bored of people trying to pretend differences don't exist. Again, ridiculous, and boys would be teased if they turned up at school in a dress.

VioletteValentia · 14/03/2018 17:04

and at that age, they are only pushed by their parents.

So I made my son pick out pink wellies at nursery, day after day did I? Hmm

boys and girls are different, and don't wear the same outfits. I am bored of people trying to pretend differences don't exist. Again, ridiculous, and boys would be teased if they turned up at school in a dress.

Why should outfits be gendered? What about a dress makes it only suitable for those with a vagina? And surely the issue with bullies is the bully, not what someone wears.

Jesus I didn’t expect these archaic attitudes!

VioletteValentia · 14/03/2018 17:04

It sad that people claim to fight for 'equality of the sexes' but are still holding on to not allowing boys to wear what they want.

👍🏼

SweetMoon · 14/03/2018 17:04

YANBU. Sounds very attention seeking. Probably left him naked for so long too so that everyone would know he was a boy and she was therefore so utterly cool. Why else in the world would you let a child (of any gender) wear all that to go swimming? Other than to make a very 'look at me' kind of point.

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