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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think if her child was a daughter she wouldn’t be dressed like pl

180 replies

HolyGoats · 14/03/2018 14:24

I took dc2 to a toddler swimming session today. In the changing room and a mum comes in with her dc. The mum is very hippyish looking - dreads, piercings, lots of baggy clothes etc. Her dc is in a pink frilly dress, wearing a sparkly sort of tiara thing, carrying a silver wand and sparkly paw patrol boots. I vaguely wonder if it’s her child as my hippyish friends all dress their kids in very gender neutral type clothes and definitely not girly, pink stuff.

Anyway, as her dc got changed it was obvious her dc wasn’t a girl. Only noticed because they were both stood there stark naked for way longer than necessary before I get accused of being a pervert.

Am I being cynical in thinking that if her dc was a girl she’d probably be dressed in dinosaur dungarees or similar? It was just such an ott, impractical outfit to wear. I can’t think why you’d dress your dc like that unless to prove some point about how cool and modern you and your child are.

I may be biased though as she was a very irritating woman in the lesson!

OP posts:

AthenasOwl · 14/03/2018 16:00

How bloody judgmental...my daughter likes pink stuff but she also wants to dress as a cowboy sometimes or a pirate ..I certainly don't force her it's just what she likes..kids don't really understand gender until we teach them.
You could try minding your own business.

MarklahMarklah · 14/03/2018 16:00

I'm off to buy a tutu and a tiara.

Theresasmayshoes11 · 14/03/2018 16:01

Doesn’t blow anyone’s mind. Find it silly that anyone lets abynkid wear pink sparkly dresses to go to a swim class but hey that’s their lookout.

Op boys in frocks are another mumsnet parallel universe to RL.

GetoutofthatGarden · 14/03/2018 16:03

Lets turn it around

I see a very fashionable woman come in to the swimming pool with her child - the mum obviously spend a lot of time on her hair and make up and the DD is wearing a very girly outfit (when they get naked I make sure it's really a girl)

I am shocked and horrified because I assume if her DD was a DS she would never let this hypothetical boy where the girly outfit!

I don't understand the comparison.

MagneticMan · 14/03/2018 16:07

A few assumptions here that the mother wouldn't have let her daughter dress in pink/sparkles. The boy could be wearing something that his sister has outgrown. I know a family where one dd and ds are very close in ages and I could imagine this being perfectly normal for them. The mother also has dreads and lots of piercings. Lovely family, all the children are very well balanced/adjusted.

Theresasmayshoes11 · 14/03/2018 16:08

Good god mumsnetters judge!!!

See if you had said the boy was scoffing a sausage roll and swigging a fruit shoot you would have been fine.

A boy in a frock or saying most probably the country won’t explode after Brexit you had it.

FlouncyDoves · 14/03/2018 16:09

Of course YANBU but you’ve got plenty (and will get more) saying you are. Nothing wrong with a boy wearing pink etc but being dressed up like that is a little odd.

pictish · 14/03/2018 16:10

Even if she is pushing a right-on mum agenda, so what? I doubt she forced him into the dress so what’s the problem? It didn't impact on you in the slightest...why do you even care?

She got on your nerves in the class...that’s why. You didn’t like her.
I don’t know how we can help you with that.

Camomila · 14/03/2018 16:10

I like pink, especially a nice bright fuscia. I think DS (he's not yet two so who knows) likes it too as he likes to point at my 'pink! pink!' jumper.

Anyway, all the kids I see at swimming are sensibly wearing pjs (morning class at baby swimming) onesies or tracksuits.
I'd think that's not a practical outfit for getting changed more than anything else.
But it really doesn't matter.

brizzledrizzle · 14/03/2018 16:11

Each to their own, her child might want to wear that and so what if they did? It's none of your business and posting it on MN is very unreasonable.

MiddleAgedMe · 14/03/2018 16:14

This whole thing of teaching very small children about gender is just pure bullshit isn't it? It's confusing and dangerous for the child and has nothing to do with anything other than being cool/pc. It's ignorant and ill educated!

Registryofficepanic · 14/03/2018 16:14

So agree! I have a ‘friend’ who’s like this who actually told me to cut my DDs hair when she was 2 and that by letting her wear dresses and dress girly it’s will make her more interested in her looks etc.. fast forward a few years and her Toddler DS has long hair dressed like a princess and she parades this all over Facebook. Argh I hate her. I know the type op, I’m with you.

QuietWalking · 14/03/2018 16:16

Why were you staring at them naked?

I would have called you a pervert or paedophile too.

Yogagirl123 · 14/03/2018 16:16

I thought Brighton immediately too!

Charolais · 14/03/2018 16:17

I totally agree with you. If I had a younger child now I would encourage them to become a psychiatrist because we are going to need a lot of them in a few years.

Jenna43 · 14/03/2018 16:23

Why were you staring at them naked?
I would have called you a pervert or paedophile too

Anyway, as her dc got changed it was obvious her dc wasn’t a girl. Only noticed because they were both stood there stark naked for way longer than necessary before I get accused of being a pervert

OP explained why, did you not read it^? You are being utterly ridiculous. That statement you made is so immature.

BroomstickOfLove · 14/03/2018 16:25

I spent a lot of time with hippy parents when my kids were little. The toddlers, regardless of gender, tended to wear a mixture of sparkly fairy outfits, sturdy Scandinavian outdoor wear and hand-knit woollens.

Theresasmayshoes11 · 14/03/2018 16:26

its confusing and dangerous to a child

It really isn’t though is it.

Theresasmayshoes11 · 14/03/2018 16:29

Think there was a cinema advert to their song by plastic Bertrand with a girl in wellies a tutu and s jumper! How old fashioned it would obviously be a boy now.

Brighton or north London

Inseoir · 14/03/2018 16:30

You and that mum are the sides of the same coin essentially aren't you? You're the judgey person who stares and she's the person who seems to invite and provoke that judginess and staring. You can't have one without the other. Maybe one day you'll both grow up and do something useful with yourselves, but for now you can provoke each other at a distance in swimming pools.

catkind · 14/03/2018 16:30

Plenty of toddlers do insist on going out in their princess dresses, g or b. Possibly more so if the parent isn't that way inclined. I hate pink and sparkly, so it has novelty value in our house, both DD and DS duly had pink phases as toddlers. I wasn't going to stop them, one of the benefits of being 2 is you can wear what the hell you like and everyone will say aaah cute. (Except on MN apparently...)

Kids have their own views on things even at toddler age, they're not dressing up dolls or extensions of their adults. So YABVU.

VioletteValentia · 14/03/2018 16:31

The child probably picked it. My son loves pink and will dress in Disney princess outfits.

winglesspegasus · 14/03/2018 16:34

hippyish
??????
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hippie

Theresasmayshoes11 · 14/03/2018 16:36

Well no child of mine would go to a swim class in anything as daft as a princess outfit but then I wasn’t either hip or trendy. Joggers or leggings and no arguments.

cucaracha · 14/03/2018 16:37

boys in pink and dresses are just ridiculous, and of course most people in RL judge. It's totally unecessary

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