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Original poster

To find the term 'child free' annoying?

496 replies

stuffstuffeverywhere · 14/03/2018 12:40

Why not just say you don't want kids? Why do people have to make it sound like some dietary requirement? It's as if they see small humans as some kind of allergen or digestive irritation to be avoided.

OP posts:
ChocoHazelnutCroissant · 15/03/2018 11:32

Awful, isn’t it @Lizzie48, so sorry, unbelievable that it has to be somebody you know. Do they think for one moment that we won’t mind just because we happen to know them? 💐

Lottapianos · 15/03/2018 11:55

'Not everyone without children can be neatly slotted into boxes marked either childless or childfree.'

So true. I'm probably 'childfree' as I have never tried to get pregnant and always known deep down that parenthood was not for me. That said, i spent several years grieving very deeply for the loss of a family of my own. I was obsessed with the idea of having a baby and struggled massively when a close friend became a mum. So it's definitely not as simple as either 'wanting' or 'not wanting' when it comes to babies. Some of us are 'acutely ambivalent' Smile

Neapolitanicecream · 15/03/2018 11:58

Yesterday 12:43 SilverHairedCat

Because it's an alternative to childless, which believe you me seems to invite people to enquire about humiliating, private, heart rending medical information that's none of their business.

Childfree tends to stop the conversation dead.

What silver said my sister could was constantly reminding me of need to know all the time I felt like gossip fodder!

heron98 · 15/03/2018 12:00

I am happily childfree and have never once encountered anyone who gave a shit about this, just as I don't really care if people have kids or not.

I have never had a head tilt, or further questioning, I don't think it's a strange decision to have made.

Contesse · 15/03/2018 17:38

I refer to myself as child free by choice. However at a recent children's party I did just say 'it's not for me' instead as I didn't want to 'rub in' my choice to people struggling with screaming filthy toddlers. But I've never felt gladder about it than at that party! And why should that be shamed?

heateallthebuns · 15/03/2018 17:53

I don't know how it comes into conversation, isn't it only misogynistic magazines and tabloids that use 'childless' to describe people? No one says 'I'm / they're childless' or 'I'm / they're child free' do they? They just say ' I / they don't have children'.

Lizzie48 · 15/03/2018 17:55

Just curious, @Contesse honestly not being goady, why were you at a children's party? I'm quite impressed actually, I really don't enjoy them, unless it's for one of my own DDs. I wouldn't think of inviting childfree relatives or friends, as I wouldn't expect them to want to be there.

Lizzie48 · 15/03/2018 17:58

I agree, @heateallthebuns I actually don't hear the expression 'child free' anywhere except on Mumsnet, or the word 'childless'.

FlippingFoal · 15/03/2018 18:08

I wouldn't compare a child to an allergen - they're more like a parasite. Child-free, nit-free, worm-free

Lizzie48 · 15/03/2018 18:09

So, @FlippingFoal when did you stop being a parasite?

GuidoTheKillerPimp · 15/03/2018 18:17

‘Childless’ suggests I might be missing something. ‘Childless’ indicates that I made a specific decision that children were not for me, and I’m very happy with the situation.

shoesarefab · 15/03/2018 18:20

Because they are free!! Lucky buggers Grin

Contesse · 15/03/2018 18:21

@Lizzie48 One probably should attend their godchild's first birthday hm? I wasn't frogmarched there but I think I might make other plans for any future ones!

Lizzie48 · 15/03/2018 18:21

Yes I do see the difference, it's just not a discussion I've heard anywhere in RL, but it's an obsession on Mumsnet. I say I'm child free when I go out for an evening without my DDs.

auditqueen · 15/03/2018 18:21

I describe myself as childfree (though in reality I just say I don't have children in a tone of voice that makes it clear I will not discuss it further). The truth is rather more complicated and it has taken me a long time to complete the journey from childless to childfree.

20years ago some of the comments on this thread would have made me sob. Now I've come to terms with my reality and the wasted years when I was yearning for something I was never going to have and I am finally content.

However I have no desire to be around children and never actually have. I didn't like the company of children and find them difficult to talk to and incredibly annoying to be around. Whilst I wanted my own child, I would definitely have been one of those mothers who didn't like other children; but of course it is ok for mothers to say that, just a crime for a childfree person to admit it.

FlippingFoal · 15/03/2018 18:23

Why is is ok for someone who has children to say that They are child-free (this weekend) but it is so offensive for someone who Is actually child free.

I think if is far more offensive for a parent to say they are child-free - it implies that they are purposely excluding their child and are happy about it. That's awful...

All said tongue in cheek of course

Lizzie48 · 15/03/2018 18:24

Fair enough, @Contesse but I wouldn't have expected it of you myself. Children's parties have been something to be endured rather than enjoyed during the last few years. Grin

FlippingFoal · 15/03/2018 18:25

Lizzie48 - I stopped be coming a parasite to my parents when I was able to live independently from them. My sister however is 35 and still living at home...

Lizzie48 · 15/03/2018 18:27

All I'm saying is that I don't hear the term used that way in RL. People just say they don't have children, they don't say, 'No, I'm childless' or 'No I'm childfree.' It's just not something I hear.

Lizzie48 · 15/03/2018 18:28

@FlippingFoal Lol, exactly! Some adults can be parasites. But you expect children to stop being parasites when they're grown up. Grin

lolalola19 · 15/03/2018 21:57

'Child-free' is fine, everyone is far too precious these days taking offence to people being offended by offensive things...

ShotsFired · 15/03/2018 23:22

@FancyABrewOrTwo I also don't want to interact with other people's children (like when some parents ignore their own so the ignored child wanders around to other adults who are minding their own business. I politely point them back to their parents)

Much the CFs who don't book seats on flights and then gleefully suggest the "unreasonable" person in the seat they expect to be given up on demand, will therefore entertain their child. Good luck with that...

Contesse · 15/03/2018 23:40

Yes, that rubbish behaviour from parents too. Like the last formal ceremony I went to had a toddler really scream the place down and ruin someone's speech. The mother later said (and genuinely believed) that her child was just 'joining in'. And when you're child free you get lambasted for even thinking stuff like that is just not on, can't you see that your precious is ruining things for everyone else- because you 'don't understand'. It's so patronising.

SpitefulMidLifeAnimal · 15/03/2018 23:47

A parasite is an organism that lives on or in a host and gets its food from or at the expense of its host. So, scientifically, we stop being parasites when we are born or leave the breast.

ChishandFips33 · 15/03/2018 23:50

I've found that these 'child free' people are often also 'gluten free' and 'dairy free'

Ha! I'm 'child free'...and gluten free and dairy free!!!!!!
None of them by choice

I also only strive to have positive people in my life...by choice

Funny that

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