To find the term 'child free' annoying?

[stuffstuffeverywhere]

Why not just say you don't want kids? Why do people have to make it sound like some dietary requirement? It's as if they see small humans as some kind of allergen or digestive irritation to be avoided.

That's the whole point in my book

My friend is childless-by-choice. She chose not to have kids and is happy with that decision and path

I am involuntarily childless. Or childless-not-by-choice We desperately want children but can't have them

I am unequivocally not child free because not having kids was not a decision I made, and I see the lack of a much wanted family as a deficit in my life. We only recently reached the end of our infertility journey however. I hope one day to make peace with it. Not there yet, however.

Sorry, my post was in response to @AvonCallingBarksdale

That's my take, but others who are involuntarily childless may have other views

yanbu. I was thinking it was an annoying expression the other day! Also to me suggests those with kids just caught them from somewhere rather than deciding to have them.

"People without children" would do.

blackteasplease "Also to me suggests those with kids just caught them from somewhere rather than deciding to have them"

by some of the posts on MN, you'd think that happened!

re "people without children" - how would that work?

Nosey Parker - do you have children?
Me - no.
Nosey Parker - why not?

now, if I say "I'm childfree" instead of just "no", there is some chance that the Nosey Parker will move on. If I say "no" - even at 42!!! - I get "but you are planning to?" or "why not?"

If I said "I am a person without a child" I think the Nosey Parker would be even more confused - but actually that's got potential to be quite funny!

yanbu. I was thinking it was an annoying expression the other day! Also to me suggests those with kids just caught them from somewhere rather than deciding to have them.

But sometimes they do “just catch them” - not every pregnancy is decided and planned in advance is it?

I will call myself what I like and I couldn’t care less how much it annoys you.

I like the term childfree. "Childless" somehow implies that something is missing from that person's life, but some of my friends have simply never wanted children and are pleased that they have successfully avoided having any

That's exactly why I use it, and why the term was coined. It's been in use since the 70s, and I don't remember "gluten free" etc being much in evidence back then. It's free of negative connotations.

It was first

I must admit, I've never come across anyone using "childless" or "child free" in real life. People just say "I don't have children". Which I always just take as a fact and know better than to enquiry any further as to why not.

I've found if I answer the question 'Do you have children?' by saying a simple 'No,' I often then get an apology, as if the person thinks they have been tactless.

I'm not offended at all by the question - I just class it as small talk. Saying 'No, I'm childfree,' moves the conversation on more smoothly.

I've been in that place actually, @Riverside2 I have 9 nephews and nieces plus 2 godsons and other friends' DCs. I've said I find children's games annoying at times, especially when it's all the time, but I love the children so I want to make them happy.

There are other things I put up with, like football on the radio or TV, but I love my DH, so I grin and bear it.

I do know parents say they don't like 'other people's children' and I don't like that either actually. But that's not what this thread is about.

I answer the question with a “no I don’t” and a smile. Keeps the fuckers guessing.

Good grief...those offended by the term child free really need to up their game and find something better to do than worrying about this.

OP you are talking absolute nonsense and are making a prat of yourself.

People do decide they are allergic to things. Christ knows why

I decided I was allergic to prawns. Going into anaphylactic shock made my mind up for me.

Lizzie48 - are you offended or upset when people say "I don't like children"? In real life I tend to say things like "I'm not a child person".

I just feel as if I've upset you in some way and I don't want to be upsetting anyone here or IRL so I probably need to think about my phrasing.

For the OP's record, I have no known allergies and don't mind at all if 'negative' people want to come and moan about something with me . I admit to trying to eat healthily most of the time, if that's a crime, but I like a 'dirty' pot noodle or Domino's pizza as much as the next person, as an occasional thing.

I'm child free and think it's easier than saying I have no kids

It's also used by my friend though who has children. I'm child free today want to do something.

Also OP don't be an absolute tosser being child free isn't always a choice you pleb head. Some people are not child free by choice. I think someone needs a gin or a wine and calm the fuck down.

It's ok, I'm honestly not upset, Riverside. I get what you mean, some children are not easy, I spend enough time with children to know that. But I see them as individual people not as a group to be avoided. And it's a generalisation, some children are not such hard work, whereas some adults are very hard work.

Yes, it is better to say that you're not a child person, that's perfectly understandable, not everyone is! Each to their own.

*Riverside:

re "people without children" - how would that work?

Nosey Parker - do you have children?
Me - no.
Nosey Parker - why not?

now, if I say "I'm childfree" instead of just "no", there is some chance that the Nosey Parker will move on. If I say "no" - even at 42!!! - I get "but you are planning to?" or "why not?"*

I find that answering, 'Good God, no!' with an expression of mild horror rather than just, 'No,' puts paid to any further questioning

Epic lack of bold fail, sorry

I wish MN was stupidfree.

KevinTheYuccaPlant

What is the difference between "I'm not a child person" and "I dont like children"?

What is the difference between "I'm not a child person" and "I dont like children"?

I think the first is about you, and the second is about the children?

I like the phrase tbh. I think it encompasses people who don’t have children and are happy with that. I think it sounds more positive than childless.

BumDisease - agree

I am from the school of the late great George Michael "you can move your mouth forever, but the words sound just the same".

but some recent incidents, and this thread, have made me realise that some people are taking it very badly if I say "I don't like children" - and I do mean as a group, even the nicest child gets on my nerves after about 10 mins and they are children - you can't talk to them about anything interesting.

Honestly after some afternoons with my friends' kids, when they were toddlers, I have got home and had several drinks!

so Lizzie48, in future I will try "I am not a child person" because I guess some people do hear it differently.

I don't blame you, Riverside, toddlers are hard work! I didn't find my DDs at all easy at that age (especially the potty training part, but never mind that). It's the hardest age, I'm glad it's over. It's a lot easier when you can actually have a conversation with them.