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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

ADHD - no diagnosis but I can't function

193 replies

SquashFeet · 13/03/2018 23:33

I've shown all the signs of ADHD since I was a child. Professionals agree it's likely but say s diagnosis will not help me.

I can't function. I can't concentrate. I can't keep a job for longer than 6 months as I get bored and stressed with it. I'm shit at everything because I can't focus. I forget everything. I'm always in trouble. I just want to run awY and like a simple life with no responsibilities. Birthdays, Mother's Day, Easter - every occasion stresses me out because the task of organising anything, even buying a card seems HUGE to me. Don't even get me started on Christmas, how I made it through the last one I don't know. I can't do this anymore, I'm not happy, I'm stressed out. Everything is just too much and my head feels like it's getting mashed up with info

OP posts:
IlikemyTeahot · 13/03/2018 23:51

www.additudemag.com/self-diagnosis-adhd-how-to-find-professional/

GO will probably try to put you off but a diagnosis will get help and medication if you're interested.
I don't know if it will help but the website I've pasted has some good info and links xx

mumbanator · 14/03/2018 00:00

Which professionals have said a diagnosis won’t help you? Who are they to judge? Ask your GP to refer you to the adult ADHD service and let the psychiatrist decide - medication could be life-changing for you (consider going privately if you can afford it - waiting list might be long).

Velvetbee · 14/03/2018 00:02

The parents of teens I know with ADHD resisted medication for years but the teens say medication changed their lives; they are able to concentrate and organise themselves now.
Could your GP help?

planetclom · 14/03/2018 00:12

Think you sound autistic as well.
With ADHD a diagnosis would help because there is medication available.
With autism it will and it won't it depends on your issues. With someone with a careers and family I would say no you got this far and there is a huge stigma still but given you issues with coping it would probably be helpful.

ClemDanfango · 14/03/2018 00:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PersianCatLady · 14/03/2018 00:21

What professionals said that a diagnosis wouldn't help you??

I have never heard such a ridiculous thing in my life.

I was diagnosed ten years ago and take medication every day and I can honestly say that I finally feel right in myself.

The only thing that pisses me off is that I wasted so many years knowing that something was not right and not knowing what it was.

NewMinouMinou · 14/03/2018 10:24

I was diagnosed as an adult and Ritalin is one of my favourite compounds!

If you can, get assessed privately and ask for shared care with your NHS GP. It’s expensive, but the NHS won’t help unless you’re setting fire to old ladies in the street and threatening to become a stockbroker (I may be exaggerating here).
If you can get jobs, maintain friends and family relationships, stay out of jail (don’t set fire to senior ladies...) and generally get by, then you don’t come into NHS criteria for help.

Ring around a few of the support groups to see if they know anyone offering cheaper assessments. As a temporary fix, a good strong filter coffee can give you the stimulant effect for an hour or so in order to get through particularly onerous tasks.

Just got DS diagnosed (he’s 11) and we’re waiting to start him on the meds. The relief I felt when I thought he’ll have the 20 years of help I didn’t get was immense.
It’s never too late - like Persian Cat Lady said; the meds made her feel like the person she was meant to be.

PersianCatLady · 14/03/2018 11:04

It’s never too late - like Persian Cat Lady said; the meds made her feel like the person she was meant to be
Absolutely and I am angry at myself for the years I wasted self medicating with amphetamines and cocaine.

I can honestly say that Concerta (long-acting form of the drug in Ritalin) has changed my life.

NewMinouMinou · 14/03/2018 11:40

Heh. Same here. Did you never wonder why you weren’t quite the same as your friends when you - ahem - self-medicated?

Timmytoo · 14/03/2018 11:43

Ok first get a supplement called EyeQ. It's excellent to help focus and changes my life. I have ADHD and I use that as well as Natura Cerbo which are drops for focus, anxiety and hyper activity. You can get EyeQ at Boots.

Original poster
SquashFeet · 14/03/2018 11:47

I did set fire to a school building as a teenager. Was expelled, started a new school and just caused havoc there instead.

I also watched as a girl in my class set fire to her hair by accident with a Bunsen burner. She didn't realise and carried on with what she was doing whilst I sat and watched with fascination as to how bad it would get. Someone else told her in the end and she was fine but I often wonder how long I would have sat and watched.

OP posts:
NewMinouMinou · 14/03/2018 11:53

I set fire to the corner of a church vestry because I wanted to find out how close a candle flame could get to a bundle of dry pampas grass before igniting it.

Also did sth similar to you when I dumped some diluted hydrochloric acid on my hand.
“How long will it take to hurt, sir?”
“Just wash it off. Now.”

TheHulksPurplePants · 14/03/2018 11:53

Sorry but my diagnosis certainly changed my life. Concerta has been a life saver. Who told you a disagnosis wouldn't help?

NewMinouMinou · 14/03/2018 11:57

TheHulks - someone trying to save funds.

CHERRYBL0SS0M · 14/03/2018 12:40

Timmytoo - are you in the uk - where do you get Natura Cerbo?

gottaslowdown · 14/03/2018 13:30

@SquashFeet I could have written your op too Flowers Sad

I am EXHAUSTED! After a lifetime of living with what I now believe is ADHD-PH, I am very sick with an autoimmune condition.

It's so isolating and so many people around me don't believe it exists. It took a while to convince my GP to refer me. This NHS referral is dragging on -she warned the wait would be long- and I am getting so desperate, I'm now considering private.

gottaslowdown · 14/03/2018 13:34

Have spent the last week trying to work out where I could get my hands on ritalin/concerta/adderall or ANYTHING that would slow down my hyperactivity ConfusedGrin

JosephWearsNoPants · 14/03/2018 13:37

I'm appalled you just watched fire. is that really adhd? the detachment and lack of empathy sounds like a psychopath or an arsonist. sorry i know it sounds mean I don't intend to but it really shocks me. this is beyond cant focus and hyper.
is there a mental health issue?

creampie · 14/03/2018 13:54

How old are you? Are you female?

Just on the info you've given, it doesn't sound like ADHD. This tends to improve, symptoms wise, with age a little bit and yours sounds like it's getting worse.

I would guess it's one of the other ASDs, there's a lot of overlap in some cases.

A diagnosis would help you for your own peace of mind and to obtain support, but there may not be medication available for it. This may have been what the doctor meant?

user1484072939 · 14/03/2018 14:03

Just on the info you've given, it doesn't sound like ADHD. This tends to improve, symptoms wise, with age a little bit and yours sounds like it's getting worse.

Not true. Some fortunate people will find that their symptoms resolve with age, but often the increasing pressures of adult life actually make it more difficult. While you are a child/teen you tend to get a lot of assistance and structure from home/school. As an adult you are meant to be able to function alone. With ADHD this is often impossible.

Def. push for a diagnosis.

gottaslowdown · 14/03/2018 14:07

www.adhdcentre.co.uk/

Has anyone used these? Any feedback?
They offer Skype sessions if you can't get to London or Manchester.

I'm weighing up options. It's cheaper than our 'local' centre which is £1,450. Yikes

gottaslowdown · 14/03/2018 14:12

@ClemDanfango sorry to hear about your mental health troubles. I've read that people -often women- who have undiagnosed ADHD, can end up in tangled mental health mess and wrongly diagnosed with something else. This is one of the reasons I'm thinking a diagnosis will be useful.

How long has your referral taken? NHS I presume. I'm still waiting for mine, so I would be interested in the process involved.

Checklist · 14/03/2018 14:17

It’s nonsense to say a diagnosis won’t help! It counts as a disability! It would entitle you to “reasonable adjustments” at work, extra time in exams whatever, not to mention medication as pp have said!

Coffee can act as a stimulant to help with ADHD, if that is what you have until you can get Concerta.

If nothing else, a label helps you, your family and friends to understand some of your behaviours. We used to find DD’s forgetfulness, organisation problems and fidgeting beyond our comprehension. Now we know she has ADD, it all makes sense!

gottaslowdown · 14/03/2018 14:22

Ok, off to boil kettle for a strong coffee! Grin Will it help with my jitteryness and hyper-alert thing? I have cut out caffeine in the past thinking it would help Confused

I am extremely noise sensitive right now and would buy Concerta if I found a source. Poor ears Smile

ClemDanfango · 14/03/2018 14:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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