ADHD - no diagnosis but I can't function

[SquashFeet]

I've shown all the signs of ADHD since I was a child. Professionals agree it's likely but say s diagnosis will not help me.

I can't function. I can't concentrate. I can't keep a job for longer than 6 months as I get bored and stressed with it. I'm shit at everything because I can't focus. I forget everything. I'm always in trouble. I just want to run awY and like a simple life with no responsibilities. Birthdays, Mother's Day, Easter - every occasion stresses me out because the task of organising anything, even buying a card seems HUGE to me. Don't even get me started on Christmas, how I made it through the last one I don't know. I can't do this anymore, I'm not happy, I'm stressed out. Everything is just too much and my head feels like it's getting mashed up with info

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I have posted this in case it is useful info to anyone else. Its long!
My dd is 19 and was diagnosed at 16 with inattentive type ADHD. She was booted from a high performing faith school 6th form towards the end of her 1st year of A level. She has now nearly completed A levels at a local 6th form college and hopes to go to university in September.
She was assessed by a private medical company first, Clinical Partners. They are nationwide I think.
We paid something like £650. It was a 2 hour assessment with she and I together and then her on her own. We were asked about our background/history; then the symptoms, difficulties etc., then medical history and specifically we were asked about her birth which was a difficult one with forceps and she was resucitated. This adds to the picture because problematic births recur in ADHD-ers apparently.
It was friendly and informal, lots of questions. Then when she was on her own with him he engaged her in games; jenga and that game where you join dots to make squares. He noted that she couldn't sustain a conversation whilst playing these games and he had to repeat himself whilst she stopped playing to concentrate on what he was saying. She miscounted her squares and missed opportunities to score (A level maths student!)
He said she presented all the symptoms and prescribed concerta. This worked noticeably well initially but when he raised the dose later she went backwards!
She has also been on strattera which had no effect. He then prescribed elvanse which is a different type of drug (ritalin, concerta etc are stimulants called methylphenidate) Elvanse is an amphetamine. This suits her much better. The side effect she has though is an inability to eat whilst it is in her system. She is of slim build but has lost a lot of weight and is very thin now. This has affected her blood pressure which tends to be a bit too high sometimes. For this reason her dose cannot be increased even though this might well help her regulate her concentration even more. HOWEVER she still needs to relearn how to live, as she has never understood how neurotypicals deal with life. She cannot organise herself yet, she has little concept of time or time management. She still procrastinates, doesnt connect with what is being said always. She's a talented artist and dressmaker though, and can literally hyperfocus for days with no sleep if this kicks in.
Additional follow up appointments cost £250 each by the way so its not cheap. It was heartbreaking that so many people just couldn't find that sort of cash, luckily we had savings.
Whilst this was all going on she was on the waiting list for NHS treatment and luckily for us a new clinic opened nearby and she was transferred to that patient list. She had to be reassessed and they did that with a test called a QB test which is done on a computer. Your responses and eye movements are recorded as you are asked to complete tasks. dd said it was very stressful as I suppose it is designed to find your concentration breaking point!
She is still taking elvanse but really needs some kind of life coaching as well. We have not been able to access this.
I have bought some ADHD self help books from Amazon and distilled out some useful stuff and we are working on it.
One last thing, check out a TEDXtalk on you tube called "How to ADHD" by Jessica McCabe. Its an eye opener!
For those thinking of 'rejecting' a diagnosis its worth noting that a disproportionate number of prisoners have adhd. Its not a 'condition'. Its different wiring and its difficulty REGULATING concentration, NOT an inability to concentrate.

Greenicicle

Post of the Day goes to Greenicicle for taking the time to post all that excellent info. Thank you! I wish you were my Mum

Have a good weekend everyone

I have wondered about the birth hypoxia cause of ADHD too. Apparently when I was born I was late (it happened the day induction was booked), I was blue, had passed meconium and they were so worried they tried to take me away to resuscitate before anyone had cut the cord :( I spent some time in an incubator despite being full term. It sounds awful for my mum, thankfully DS's birth was more straightforward.

Thanks for sharing Greenicile. I am a big fan of Jessica's channel too.

Glad you found it useful. I just read everything I can😊

Mm. That's interesting. I was an incubator baby too. Pethidine administered too late in the birth apparently. Exact details a bit vague.

I'm not sure of the other's birth details that I suspect have ADHD. I guess there might be a multitude of triggering factors. Seems to be lots of studies about pre-natal maternal stress as a factor and I have come across maternal smoking/poor diet as related too. Wish we knew more.

Oh and I forgot to say. I know you both recommended Jessica and I started to watch.

Only I realised I've already seen it! I'm so inattentive, vague and speedy I often start re-watching or re-reading stuff I've already covered. Varying amounts of time pass before little lightbulbs go off and it starts to become familiar

Haha! Well she puts new videos up all the time and I find her practical tips to be really good although I can't get on with bullet journalling.

Thomas Frank is another useful one - he's not about ADHD but I find his tips for things like organisation and time management to be very ADHD friendly.

Pethidine baby here too! Hmm... And my mum smoked but I'm always a bit sceptical about stress as a factor.

Where do you all stay that you get referred to adult ADHD services? Coincidentally I had an appointment booked with the GP a couple of days ago as I was at the end of my tether with what I strongly suspected was dyspraxia and ADD. He agrees but there is no way for me to go as all services are provided through educational psychologists in the school system. There isn't anything for those who are old enough to have gone through school before this sort of thing was picked up or even known about. I was born in 1961, a week or two early through induction; my mother smoked and drank as was usual for that era, though I can recognise a other of traits of both in my dad.

The doctor could only recommend work occupational health as it is affecting my work now to the extent of being threatened with the capacity procedure. HR says that OC has to be recommended by my manager (who I didn't really want to talk to about this without an actual diagnosis), that they can help with work work around but can't get me a diagnosis. The GP says he can provide me with a letter saying that I have several traits indicating Dyspraxia and ADD but no formal diagnosis.

@TooManyPaws I'm really sorry to hear where you are. I suspect I might be dyspraxic too, but that's for another day

Bertie posted a link up there which is useful. Are you in the UK? Don't despair, I'm coming back with some links for you. My unmedicated ADHD is struggling to find them!

From a pp: Ask GP for a referral to the Adult ADHD service covering your area.

From Bertie ^Here is a guide to getting diagnosed in the UK: aadduk.org/faq/^

From me: (Fill this out and show your GP) www.divacenter.eu/Content/VertalingPDFs/DIVA_2_EN_FORM%20-%20invulbaar.pdf

Or, just recently I saw this in the Fast Minds Book:

That 2 page table is a really quick & easy visual way to see if you do have ADHD & to what extent.

None of these documents are a stand alone proof of a diagnosis but they gave you an indicator of whether it's actually worth pursuing a professional diagnosis or looking at something else which is causing the issues

Dash it, does this work as a link?

aadduk.org/faq/

I, too, had to be resuscitated as a new born. It would be interesting to have it confirmed that there is a link.

The QB test sounds good.

Laptop just crashed Third time lucky.....

aadduk.org/faq/

How about now?!!!

If you're in the NHS, there HAS to be somewhere for ADHD adults to be referred to. My GP said I would be assessed out of 'area' which surprised me as we're quite central. The waiting list is long though.

If you've got to the stage in your life of a capacity procedure at work, it's time to get assessed. By the way, don't be ashamed about what's happened at work, both DH & I can't believe we've never been 'pulled up' in any of our jobs. We've spent quite a few hours being hopelessly inefficient!

I hope your GP is very informed and writes an excellent letter to your employer whilst you're waiting for diagnosis.

If you have £500, you can get assessed at a private clinic through questionnaires and a Skype consultation. That's the route we've chosen. Before we were sacked

Good Luck! I've gone into hyperactive and inattentive mode, so must move on for now

@gottaslowdown Thanks for that. I'm in central Scotland. Locally is excellent for children but they assume that no one will escape the school net.

Yep, it's all about the children in some areas. Mine too. I heard the fastest rate of new ADHD diagnoses is in adults though, particularly women. There are lots of us out there that were missed

That's good you're in the UK. Here's what I would do:

1. Fill out that table (& the DIVA if you have time). Give lots of examples of how it's affecting ALL areas of your life.

1. Go to your GP with them & ask him to write an employer letter, but more importantly, to refer you to the nearest ADHD Assessment place. He can use the directory I linked to above.

1. While you're waiting, count your pennies & see if a private online assessment is an option. (After meds, you should be transferred back to your GP for monitoring & future prescriptions. Time varies).

Does anyone in here have low self esteem/depression? How do you reconcile what is ADHD and what is a personal issue? I've been looking into an adhd diagnosis for my son and finding myself reflected very much in an inattentive adhd diagnosis but struggling to pull out logic and personal failings!

There are two doctors in Scotland who can diagnose, I can't remember now if they are both on the NHS or just one. I know it was a total of two including private. I can't remember the names now but it definitely exists so you might have to badger your GP for it. IIRC there is a waiting list even for private. This was a couple of years ago I was talking to somebody about it so I might be out of date but I expect it will still be the same.

Biscuit I thought I had anxiety and depression but since I've been diagnosed I haven't had an episode of either - it's really been gobsmacking. I'm not beating myself up over things I can't help any more.

Snap. I thought I was probably suffering from anxiety & depression too. Biscuit there are similarities, but if you take those assessments I linked to a few posts back, it might become clearer? Though I know someone who is borderline on them, so he won't know for sure until he sees a psychiatrist for assessment. If he chooses to.

"Personal Failings" That's what I used to feel all my life, so maybe that's why I felt a bit down at times. I was really struggling in all life areas & my frustration & tiredness at having to work hard at everyday tasks was wearing.

Someone else said they just thought they were lazy & had a "lack of moral fibre"

As everyone says up there ^ watch
Failing at Normal: An ADHD Success Story | Jessica McCabe ... ... on YouTube. She explains it really well.

Awesome thank you. Having felt and been called lazy - a theory of adhd is bizarre. But it would explain states of being totally overwhelmed and a lot of things like poor concept of time, losing things, distraction and half done jobs etc.

I'll watch the documentary.

I've been convinced for years that I've got adhd, but this thread has given me the boot up the backside and I now had a gp appointment to speak to them about it.

I'm technically ticking all of the grown up boxes as I'm happily married with a healthy and happy little boy and a career that pays well and I seem to be okay at. But my house is a shithole because I just can't seem to get around to doing anything, my friendships are slipping because I never get around to nurturing them and I'm probably working at half my capacity at work because I spend so much of my time staring out of a window. My brain is never quiet, I can't focus on anything without going "oh, look a shiny butterfly", except when I get that hyper focus and someone scares the crap out of my by interrupting me. And my procrastination!!! I have paperwork that will take me a matter of hours to fill in, not done it. The paperwork is for a payrise ffs! And I still can't complete it.

I'm feeling so much relief that I've finally started doing something about it.

And thank you so much for this thread. It is probably, literally, going to change my life, and for the better.

I got my referral in the post this morning! 6th July, which feels like ages away but isn’t really.