“I apologise if I’ve offended you”

[MadMaryBoddington]

AIBU to think this is a mealy-mouthed, patronising, inadequate excuse for an apology.

Just had ‘words’ with a van driver who had mounted the kerb and was driving with two wheels along the pavement on the village high street this morning.

Five year old ds was running ahead of me on the way to school, and suddenly there was this van driving along the pavement towards him. I yelled at ds to STOP, he did, about three metres in front of the van. Van carried on moving. I raced up to him, grabbed ds, and the driver then pulled off the kerb as I approached his window to yell at him.

He did not appear to think he’d done anything wrong. He ‘apologised if he had offended me’. Offended! I asked if he had children and how he would feel if he saw his child running along a pavement with a large vehicle approaching along it. He said he did have kids, and that he could assure me that he ‘was in full control of his vehicle the whole time’.

I’m raging. The high street is narrow. This happened at a pinch point where vehicles cannot pass side by side if they are large. Legally they should wait for a gap, but often they mount the kerb instead, especially at rush hour. It always makes me angry but they do at least usually stop dead if they see a pedestrian and pull off the pavement straight away. This guy carried on driving.

I normally keep the dc close to me or hold their hands along this stretch of road so that I can grab them if necessary. It’s typical that this morning I had my hands full with musical instruments and bags and so on and was momentarily distracted by saying something to dd behind me, and ds had run further ahead than I’d have liked.

Ironically it was a Highways Agency van.

My road is a fairly narrow one. It has a yellow line up the side I live on and commuters park on the other side, except for gaps where people have entrances to their drives. This does not leave enough room for two vehicles to pass each other without one waiting in one of those gaps. In busy times, people just use the pavement. This happens every single day. People use the dropped kerbs to go up, then drive along to the next one to go back onto the road. My question is this: What constitutes an emergency? Is it 'having to wait all of three seconds for a car to approach and go into a gap so you can get by' ?

Use a wrist rein strap for days when your hands are full. You can buy them on ebay quite cheap. I have twins and an older daughter to walk to school everyday. They are Velcro straps so no to undo. My hands are free to carry things and they all carry light bags. Walk them on the inside on the path. I often see people drive up onto pavements or along them for bit so keep your little ones close at all times. Not all drivers are good drivers. Just because you are on a path doesn't mean you're safe. 8t was lucky he saw your little one running ahead . X

Dear cyclists, if you feel unsafe on the road because, lets face it there are plenty of toss pot arrogant van drivers out there who couldn't give two hoots about your safety, then please feel free to cycle on the pavement near me because I couldn't by give a monkey's. The roads should be safe and they are not.

The news story about the little girl is so awful, apparently the road was made one-way later on.

What is shocking, apart from the fact that he was found not guilty, is there seemed to be no emphasis on the fact of pulling on to the kerb being dangerous driving in itself. He made a point in his defence of saying that he had pulled to a stop and checked his mirrors before mounting the pavement as if to prove how considerate he was being. The same totally oblivious attitude as the OP's idiot driver who claimed that he was in 'full control of his vehicle'.

Pedestrians come so far down the list of priorities that the pavement, which should be a safe space for them, is treated as additional parking by so many drivers including Emergency Services.

Emergency services bashing Now!

Gabilan totally with you there. I posted up thread about the lorry that mounted the path and went past about a foot away from my children with tyres bigger than they were. I have stood on the path in our village facing down arrogant twats who try and mount the path because they can’t wait two seconds and then gesture at me to get out of the way. If their windows are open they get an absolutely bollocking, I don’t give a fuck whether they’re old or stupid or some entitled cow in a fucking great Range Rover. If I see them doing it they’re in trouble.

(Rant over.)

"Whinyarse" because you don't want your children run over on a pavement?
Fuck me....

YANBU - Section 72 of the Highways Act 1835 is used in the current Highway Code. Rule 145 states: "You MUST NOT drive on or over a pavement, footpath or bridleway except to gain lawful access to property, or in the case of an emergency."
Since 1999 a fixed penalty notice can be issued with the offender given a ticket with fine and points attached unless they appeal in which case it goes to court.
Since this was a Highways Agency van they should come down on them with the full force of the law. They might be sorry to have offended you, but they should be punished for committing an offence!

Yanbu. Pavements are for people, not vehicles

Yanbu at all. I just don't even want to start with a rationalisation because to me, it's a no brainer. I would let your MP know that this is an ongoing safety issue. Hopefully something can be done before someone gets hurt. The world does not yet belong to motorised vehicles, children have had enough freedom taken away without them not even being safe near their mother on a pavement. Railings before reigns imho

Over reacted? I'd have probably punched him tbf. Definitely get a complaint in

'I apologise if I offended you'..is NOT an apology. 'I apologise for offending you' is. I believe that Boris Johnson made the former attempt at apology for making some crass remark and he was, quite rightly, reprimanded for it.

Again, not sure why cyclists are an untouchable subject. There are bad drivers and bad cyclists.

I would have phoned the police to be honest, on the non emergency line and given them his number plate and company name. What he did was illegal, very dangerous and plain stupid. It does not matter if he got down on his knees and apologised, he was still a moron. If you actually agree that what he did was OK, please stop driving.

Find it odd that a lot of people on here who I'm assuming are mums would be OK with someone nearly running over their child on a pavement to be honest. Haven't read the whole thread, but the first page is mainly people telling the OP she over reacted. Hardly an over reaction to be angry that someone nearly kills your child and then to top it off isn't bothered by it. Only bothered about getting to work on time clearly.

Probably because all the people saying the OP overreacted are the selfish arsehole who fling their cars up on the pavement right outside school because their lazy entitlement overrides other people's right not to get run over.

I often see people drive up onto pavements or along them for bit so keep your little ones close at all times.

I’m unclear how them being near to me would help them if a van runs over them on the pavement tbh.

I think this entitled psychology comes from owning a car/van in the first place.
It's singularly a very short-sighted thing to be doing, as a general rule , with the deaths, environmental damage done, stresses, ill-health, absurdly high financial costs associated with it (insurance, car repairs, etc) so people insist on using them as they see fit and get used to a notion that car-demand trumps everything. Including restrictive laws.

You are not being unreasonable. Vans don’t belong on pavements, children do. I’d make a complaint, his apology was meaningless. I can’t hndersfand why other people are saying you are being; you must have been terrified x