Baby in car outside preschool

[Rockandrollwithit]

Prepared to be told AIBU and to mind my own business!

Every morning for the past week or so when I've dropped my three year old at preschool I've noticed a baby left in a car on its own outside.

I have a six month old as well as my three year old so I know how much of a faff it can be doing the drop off - the corridors are really narrow, lots of parents arrive at the same time and queue outside the classroom and it's difficult with a baby too. I take my baby out of his car seat and carry him in with me but it's still awkward.

Sometimes the drop off can take 10 mins or more by the time you are buzzed in etc, especially if it's busy and there's a queue to get in the classroom. AIBU to think the baby shouldn't be left in the car? He is probably about 9 months old.

DH agrees with me that he shouldn't be left but thinks I should stay out of it. I'm leaning towards having a word with the preschool manager as I know whose sibling it is. WIBU to do this?

Hmm. I'm very much of the mind your own business school of thought, which on mumsnet puts me in the 'lax parent' bracket. And very occasionally for short periods of time, such as paying for petrol, I would have left my baby in the car. Then I saw someone refer to the child getting hold of a toy and choking and I thought 'hang on, I never let my children have toys in the car when they were babies, because that seems really dangerous due to the choking risk'. So some people could criticise my lax parenting in leaving a child unattended but I could be equally judgemental at someone who takes their child everywhere but allows them to have a toy in their car seat.

People's perceptions of risk differ, don't they?

I reported a similar situation once where a baby was left in a vehicle and the carer or parent had popped into another house. The police were there sirens wailing in a couple of minutes so I guess they take it seriously too.

I'm just that anyone could leave their baby alone in a car where they can't see them!

RockandRoll The good news is that by the time they are 15 and 12 (DC current ages) they will have stopped.

@WickedGoodDoge

Not too long to wait then! 😂

@whampiece, they were both 4 and old enough to aim into the bowl. They were strapped into their seats so little chance of them climbing around in the car. I was parked right outside the school gate and could see my car and the twins (thank god for lack of tinted windows) at all times from walking the others in through the front gate, along the front of the building towards the second gate into the playground, which is where I left them with the supervising teacher before returning to my car.

In that time someone coming in just behind me had reported it. I understand why, I really do. But as the school had never been helpful up to that point, and would more likely have admonished me for bringing sick children near the rest of the pupils at the time, it was the less controversial option at that moment in time.

When my car door shuts from the outside it locks automatically as I walk away. If I go to pay for fuel for example and dc are in the car the alarm goes off due to them moving about. Is her car even locked I wonder if you haven't heard the alarm? Not sure how all cars /alarms work!!

they were both 4 and old enough to aim into the bowl.

Yeah, I'm not sure aiming in a bowl to protect the car would be my main concern

You are right to be concerned,a car could come along too fast and hit the car,the baby could easily be stolen,and worse,this actually happened years ago but it was so devastating i never forgot it,a vagrant was by a school and stole a baby who was unattended and waited for a passing car and threw him/her under the wheels.baby died.
Perhaps that made me doubly worried .but I would speak to someone.

My biggest worry would be another car crashing into my parked car.

I'd report her to the school.

I would leave my baby in a parked car but it depends on the location etc.

More exciting than this there is a mother at our school who not only leaves the baby in the car parked on the keep clear zigzag but she leaves the engine running!! Top banana!!

@whampiece, luckily on the road where that school was, it was a very peaceful and safe side road. Risk of anyone grabbing children was unlikely. Nowhere to go and nothing to do meant unless you were walking dogs there were few people about, and everyone knew everyone. Low risk of impact as cars parked directly behind. Oncoming vehicles moved slowest to allow for unexpected children darting out of a car, and cars were unable to speed anyway due to parked cars both sides.

It is a risk assessment. In a very quiet, rural village, less risk.

Parked on a main road, near a bend in a busy town, when you can't see the car as you walk away - even I wouldn't have done that at that time. I would have taken the smalls with me in that situation.

luckily on the road where that school was, it was a very peaceful and safe side road. Risk of anyone grabbing children was unlikely. Nowhere to go and nothing to do meant unless you were walking dogs there were few people about, and everyone knew everyone. Low risk of impact as cars parked directly behind. Oncoming vehicles moved slowest to allow for unexpected children darting out of a car, and cars were unable to speed anyway due to parked cars both sides.

The fact that your risk assessment entirely omits the fact that you had TWO sick, not just unwell but sick to the point that you said you left them with sick bowls, is basically what shocked me enough to comment in the first place.

You genuinely see no risk with vomiting children who are restrained (propped up you said) in their car seats.

It seriously shocking you thought there was no risk and I'm not at all surprised school had a word. The only thing that worries me is even after that word you still don't take that to be a risk.

Give your head a shake!

worse,this actually happened years ago but it was so devastating i never forgot it,a vagrant was by a school and stole a baby who was unattended and waited for a passing car and threw him/her under the wheels.baby died

In real life, or on a tv show?

Having read the update about her parking prowess you really should have a word with the school. There is enough if a chance that someone will ram into the car to Male the situation dangerous. What an incredibly stupid woman.

I wouldn't personally leave a child or baby in the car unattended/out of view, but I also wouldn't report someone else over it.

If the temperature is fine and the car is locked then I don't think the baby is in any immediate danger just because Mom has popped inside to drop off her older child.

No way I’d do this! I’m really surprised at the number of people who are ok with leaving unattended children in cars.

Well don't be, because it very common and really none of your business.

Probably wouldn't if I couldn't see them or was going to be longer than a couple of minutes. As a child my brother and I were left in the sodding car all the time, locked in, for bloody hours at a time. That's real shit parenting.

Most cars are hit from behind whilst in traffic, on that basis you should never travel with a baby in a car?

kerry - but neglectful and illegal!

I can't read threads like this anymore because of the number of people saying 'risk assessment' like it's a thing you 'carry out' in real life. Unbearable.

I'd definitely mention it