Baby in car outside preschool

[Rockandrollwithit]

Prepared to be told AIBU and to mind my own business!

Every morning for the past week or so when I've dropped my three year old at preschool I've noticed a baby left in a car on its own outside.

I have a six month old as well as my three year old so I know how much of a faff it can be doing the drop off - the corridors are really narrow, lots of parents arrive at the same time and queue outside the classroom and it's difficult with a baby too. I take my baby out of his car seat and carry him in with me but it's still awkward.

Sometimes the drop off can take 10 mins or more by the time you are buzzed in etc, especially if it's busy and there's a queue to get in the classroom. AIBU to think the baby shouldn't be left in the car? He is probably about 9 months old.

DH agrees with me that he shouldn't be left but thinks I should stay out of it. I'm leaning towards having a word with the preschool manager as I know whose sibling it is. WIBU to do this?

I meant to add that I wouldn't be annoyed or upset if another parent mentioned any of this to nursery or school out of concern. I would be happy to explain my reasoning and decision to them and that I was confident that they are right for me and my children at this time. Now obviously this next baby could be a proper cling-on and be unhappy in the car seat etc. and I would then look at alternatives, popping them in the sling or similar.

If it’s in the nursery carpark or another reasonable place and the baby is happy, then I’m fine with it. Been there, done that. She hated being taken in & out of the car, but was totally happy in her car seat watching the world go by. Even if she was asleep but woke up while I was gone she was all smiles. I really fail to see the MN drama over this.

Car is parked right at the corner of a busy junction on double yellow lines

I wouldn’t park like such a twat, baby or no baby. I wouldn’t leave anyone, of any age, in a car in that situation.

I wouldn't do it, partly because DD would freak if the car wasn't moving, but also too risky IMO.

I don't understand the choking point. That could also happen when your driving along. Babies don't make a sound choking and they are rear facing so you could easily not know it was happening. Even with the little mirrors you don't check them constantly as you need to focus on the road.

I wouldn’t do it.

But I would also assume the adult that has is capable of making their own decisions in relation to their baby, and leave it at that.

I read a book a few years ago where the mum left her baby in the car while she paid for petrol. Came back and baby was gone. Excellent story but as the evidence unfolded I decided never to leave my child alone in the car ever. Even on my driveway while I run back in to get something from house

Was it fiction?

I wouldn't do it, but I really wouldn't think it's any of my business what someone else chooses to do (unless we're talking about child abuse, which is everyone's business)

I would mention it to the manager and suggest they hand out a note saying 'please don't leave children in cars or buggy's outside while dropping off'.

I definitely wouldn't leave a baby in a car at all. But that is personal preference, however maybe if you have a word but say you don't want it to cause issues? They may be able to issue a letter to parents saying that they would prefer babies not to be left in cars while siblings are dropped off? That way no parent is singled out for it and your name won't get thrown into it either?

Its a very small chance, but what if the baby was sick while strapped in or got hold of a toy without the parent realising and choked.

Is it my baby?? Seriously, it really could be, I do this all the time. Not every time, but if she's asleep I don't wake her, or if her chest's bad (repeat bronchiolitis) and the weather's inclement I leave her be. The preschool know. I'm happy with my decision.

Two children died in a car fire close to where I live and this is the reason I'd never do it - www.getreading.co.uk/news/local-news/never-ever-leave-your-kids-4275986

I'd tell the school and let them decide what to do. You're not interfering then, just advising.

I've left my twins in the car to run into a little co-op store for bread and milk but I could see the car at all times and checked there wasn't a huge queue before committing so knew there would be no hold ups.
The thought of getting them both up and into the pushchair and then back in car seats and putting the double pushchair away seemed like an awful lot of faff for bread and milk.

In a pre school drop of situation there could be loads of hold ups so if I wasn't confident it would be a super quick in and out I definitely wouldn't leave a little one in the car.
I'd also only do so if it was a 'safe' car park (not on a main road, junction..)

If you think it's genuinely a safety issue then report it.

Mind your own business.

An opportunist thief is far more likely to smash the car window to steal a £1000 than to take a baby. Surely you must realise that?

It wouldn't need to be an opportunist, just someone who has noticed there is a baby unattended every morning. It can take seconds for people who know what they're doing to get a car door open.

Two children died in a car fire close to where I live and this is the reason I'd never do it

A kid got run over and killed outside a school dropping off an older sibling where I live, so if we combine the two you should neither leave them in the car nor take them out with you.
Not how life works though, is it?

while I had risked assessed the situation as a parent and left upright, strapped in children with sick bowls in case of vomit,

I am astounded that anyone could possibly consider that to be an acceptable solution AFTER risk assessing. Seriously WTF.

No, I have never left mine alone in the car. No amount of faff is worth my child's life. While it's unlikely anything will ever happen if I leave DC alone in the car, it's not an absolute that they will be safe.

People are very ignorant if they don't think cars get hot inside in the Summer.

This confuses me, you can't compare a baby to money!!
what an inane comparison!

It's comparing a baby to something valuable. People tend to look after their valuables more than their children sometimes.

Madeleine and Jamie were both taken by opportunists, but this baby is being left every day, enough time for someone to plan as well. I certainly wouldn't take the risk. Jamie's mum turned her back for seconds.

Easy answer here in Australia as it is illegal to leave a child alone in a car, even to pay for petrol. I guess it's because of the heat. What you describe has the potential for the car to be rear ended so it doesn't seem like a great plan but it is not actually illegal so I guess you need to keep quiet.

@kerryweaverscrutch I'm just giving my personal reasons, learned by other people's tragic experience.

Of course he shouldn't be left in the car for up to 10 minutes! Anyone who says it's fine needs their bumps felt. Sometimes I would arrive at nursery and my baby would be asleep and my 3 year old needed taking inside. When that happened I would ask another Mum I recognised if they wouldn't mind taking my toddler in with their's. Perhaps you could volunteer to do this for the woman who is always leaving her baby alone op?

sure, but they don't actually make sense from a risk analysis perspective. You can do whatever you want.

I'd say it's none of your business. It's the parents' responsibility, if they believe their child is safe then that is their choice.

If you're concerned for its welfare, smash the window and take it out. If the police are called, they can make a decision on who is in the wrong and take action against you/them.

It's comparing a baby to something valuable. People tend to look after their valuables more than their children sometimes

Anyone would like your thousand pounds, nobody wants your baby.