To continue a pregnancy st 46-7

[Spoog1971xx]

That's it really... 46 1/2 years old pretty much menopausal and I appear to be up the duff. 😳 I ttc for 20 years ( finally got pregnant with DS at 41 with IVF) DH has azospermia. Now this happens. I'd love another child but aibu? I'm ancient and I have high blood pressure. The chances of MC are 50 percent,Down syndrome ? What if I die when the kid is ten? Jesus this is a turn up for the books. Aibu to continue this knowing there may be complications by the bucket load?

I find it hard to collect from parties later than midnight as I want to sleep. Will you find it hard to deal with teenagers when you are 62
Do you have to collect them from parties when they are teenagers? ? Noone ever collected me from a party?! Is that what happens now? gets ds UBER account.

"The argument that your child may have to look after you in older age in nonsensical. If you need looking after that will happen anyway.
In some ways it may be better if your child is a young adult. Better that than looking after ageing parents and young children like many more people will have to do.
And there are flip side such as, if you have an inheritance to pass on, your kid will get it so much younger in life when they need it!"

@fuckedoverinlife

Uh, better for who? do you know many 20 or 30 years old who would genuinely like to spend their 20's/early 30's looking after their elderly parents (with everything that that involves) and worrying about them in a way that people their age with younger parents don't have to? Because I don't know any who would much rather become a carer and lose their parents in their 20's/30's (even if they were to get a nice inheritance) because most people would actually much rather have their own parents around when they have kids (and people in their 20's still do have kids so there is no guarantee that they wouldn't find themselves at 20 with a newborn and dying parents anyway) and I would argue that while losing a parent at 40 or 50 isn't necessarily easier than at 20, losing your parents at 20 when you are fresh out of uni, haven't really started your career (or you own family) and still depend a lot on your parents emotional & financial support is probably harder than losing them at 50 when you have most of your life built and your own family.

I don't think there is anything wrong with having a child at 47 if that's what OP wants to do but there is nothing "nonsensical" about pointing out that having children older means that yes, there will be things that are likely to be different for her children and that includes probably spending part of their youth caring and worrying about their parents.

Having a baby isn't only about what the mum wants but also about what's right by the child. My mum had me as a teen and while I don't necessarily regret being born I still think it was very selfish of her to have decided (I was planned) to have a child at that age just because she "wanted one" without having considered what it would mean for me and giving much thought about the life I would have. That being said, OP seems absolutely lovely as does her DH and it's obvious this baby will be surrounded by love and probably will have a lovely childhood. So whatever OP decides I hope it goes well for her!

I am 43 am I not allowed to dye my hair or wear skinny jeans?

There is an interesting debate to be had about the relative merits and demerits of having children at various points in people's lives, but not on a thread of somebody who is surprised but HAPPY to find herself pregnant later in life than average.

Makes lives easier and supporting each other??

FFS

OP
Congrats!!
Wonderful news
I'm a similar age to you and want another baby though I'm not actively trying (may change lol).
I always smile at threads like this that talk of doom and gloom and make women in their 40s sound ancient!
I'm no bloody different to how in was in my 30s.
Fit slim healthy and active. Look after myself.
I do more with my dc (2 of whom are little)than many women half my age.
Yes you cant ignore the risks as of course they are increased, but the way some posters harp on is like being in your.40s is like being in your 80s.Unreal.
Op you have been blessed. You have conceived naturally. That's wonderful.
Like some posters have said women used to just continue having babies until they physically no longer could.
Including my own grandma.
I work in maternity myself and see 20 yr olds overweight,medical problems. Generally in a worse state than me!

There's a pretty rubbish understanding of basic maths going on here.

47+20=67

Most people of 67 are not frail, elderly and in need af care. They're working, looking after their grandchildren, caring for THEIR elderly parents, having holidays, some of them are running marathons. State pension age is now 67, soon to be 68. People are not decreed in their 60s ffs!

Decrepit even!

Op Congratulations!!! I totally understand your concerns. I'm 43 and I would definitely have a baby, if I can, at 46. It's a wonderful blessing. You sound like a wonderful mother. Don't let fear take hold! Enjoy!!!

I know these people. I'm one of them.

redandsilver

Out of interest. How old are you?

@rachie1973

I am somewhere between 1 and 125 years old.

However old you are, you're taking utter and complete bollocks.

redandsilver
Of COURSE you are.

Blue posts regularly, and we frequently disagree with each other, I believe it's to do with our age difference. She is the age she says she is.

And the majority of people I know near 70, and frail and elderly and need help to do day to day stuff.

I'll let my Mum & Dad know! My Dads an outreach worker for the Fire Brigade. He's 67. My Mum is a full time nurse at 65. I'll be sure to let them know that they will both be frail and decrepit within a couple of years.

Funny how we can all say what suits isn't it?

I'm 45 raising my 3yr old granddaughter. I'll be sure to remind my legs at some point.

I'm 24 and my mum had a baby when she was 45! No problems with her or my sister, congratulations and good luck!

redandsilver

I am somewhere between 1 and 125 years old

I'll assume you're very young then, to aged parents since you have such vehement views on it all.

I'm being kind to you.

Btw You misquoted me redandsilver.
Pmsl at the idea of my 70 year old mum as "frail"
Anyway, I don't know what you are so angry about, but maybe take it somewhere else? This OP is actually, currently pregnant and your (inexplicable) vitriol is not helping any.

redandsilver

No, a baby at 46 is NOT a blessing.

For the OP it looks like it might well be. For many many people it might well be. You're projecting your own fears. I should imagine OP scrolls past you now, you went beyond objective to offensive,.

For the OP it looks like it might well be. For many many people it might well be. You're projecting your own fears. I should imagine OP scrolls past you now, you went beyond objective to offensive,.

I don't have any FEARS about having a baby at 48, just more sense than to do so.

Nice try though HUN.