To continue a pregnancy st 46-7

[Spoog1971xx]

That's it really... 46 1/2 years old pretty much menopausal and I appear to be up the duff. 😳 I ttc for 20 years ( finally got pregnant with DS at 41 with IVF) DH has azospermia. Now this happens. I'd love another child but aibu? I'm ancient and I have high blood pressure. The chances of MC are 50 percent,Down syndrome ? What if I die when the kid is ten? Jesus this is a turn up for the books. Aibu to continue this knowing there may be complications by the bucket load?

Yes, red, you are being needlessly aggressive. The OP is 46, not 50 and she is already pregnant. She also already has a 5yo.

x2boys, of course the tests don't pick up everything, but forewarned is forearmed and I'd want as much information as I could have at an early stage - I went for the NIPT test myself, but these earlier tests sound a good idea.

@sleepfreezone

I shall go when I want to thanks hun

My mum had first at 17 her dd died a year later. She went on to have my sis1 at 21 then me at 36 and sis2 at 37. My dad was 56 for his final dc (!!!) anyway, my dad is still here at 87. My dh dad passed away at 61, my dh sis was 25. I wouldn’t make this decision based on your concerns about age of parents expect perhaps if you have a medical issue that you are aware might go downhill already.

I would discuss the issues surrounding genuine potential risks of carrying a pregnancy at this age with your doctor, however fwiw if it were me I’d go for it. A miscarriage could happen but I had one at 31 and so it’s unfortunately sometimes part of the process of baby making at any age.

All the best OP

I mean GOD FORBID someone has a different opinion to the majority on here.

I am just offering common sense, and sage advice, and not dangerous comments encouraging women to have babies at nearly 50, with loads of great examples of people they (supposedly) know who have had babies past 45.

Think very carefully before you go ahead OP.

Pay no attention to all the tales on here of how great it is having a baby at nearly 50!

Congratulations!! To me it sounds like you have your head screwed on. You know the risks, you seem to be weighing them up. If you are happy to go through with it knowing there are risks (which there are at any age) then I'd say go for it.

I'm sure you are very surprised at the moment but once it sinks in you will make the right choice for you.

Good luck OP and if you decide to proceed I wish you a happy and healthy pregnancy x

My mum had me at 44, she is still here and is nearly 81.

Do what’s best for you but having an older mum did me no harm. She has said she would have had a termination if I had had downs as she wouldn’t have been able to look after me into adulthood.

I am 36 and worry i might die when they are young! I think it’s normal when you have dependents.

Look at all your worries and figure out what you can change or impact (be healthy, do a harmony test if u have thatvworry) and the rest have to be let go.

Good luck with your decision and congratulations!

OP I see there’s been some negative comments. They have a point in that it is good to weigh up realistic POV. However there are some more truths and some things that I’d consider scare mongering.

Yes there’s a much higher risk of Downs, which there is a test for. Slightly higher risk of other abnormalities, but not as much - you can check with your GP though, talk through these concerns.

I have to say that having a child of Sen in my 40s I do worry who will look after them in the future. However this would be the case if I were 10 years younger. They will outlive me even if I’d had them at age 20. So I don’t feel bad at all that I’m an older mother. In fact my maturity anf experience means that I am giving my Sen child a much better start in life than if I were 20, which means my child’s quality of life is much better, and chances of being independent much greater.

I am now nearly 50 and apparently I am considered the youngest parent at the school gates by my child’s friends because I wear ‘cool earphones’!

All I’m saying is many of my worries melted away when balanced with the big benefits to the child of being older. Weigh it up OP. But remember the pluses as well as the minuses.

A worry map - that’s it - it might help with all this.

Ps when I found out I was havin a third I freaked out.

Ds is here now and it’s great x

I think there is a big difference between trying to have a baby at your age and finding out you're having a baby! From your post it sounds like you're generally happy but understandably worried - take it one step at a time and don't look too much at statistics. Congratulations!

I agree, menopause (and I have no physical symptoms to speak of) is extremely hard mentally and it is exhausting. Throw a baby in the mix... dear God!

OP ignore the boring old troll.

Did you mean to be so rude jellycat1 considering the nature of the post being discussed?

Menopause s different for everyone. I barely noticed mine.

No, me neither, at 47. However I certainly had less energy. No doubt.
HRT helps, but it is not the cure all.

Congratulations
I wouldn’t abort but I’d have all the tests & then hope for the best.

It’s lovely news.

So 47 is great to have a baby but try on line dating at that age!

I had my second baby just before I was 45. It kept me feeling young and it still does. Both my children are healthy.

... And for some people it is absolutely horrific!

Goodness what a shocker after all that time ttc! Many congratulations!
I'd suggest getting an appointment with a doctor and going through yournworries

FWIW yes we all might die, at any time, but don't let that rule your decision - otherwise nobody would 'risk' it. It's not all that long ago since you had your first child, mine have a 3.5 year gap and it's good to have a bit of a gap. Health wise only a doctor can help you with that but there are people who do go on to have babies at menopausal type times, the body's last ditched attempt perhaps but there's something quite amazing about it!
Imagine though when people many years ago had 10 or more kids il bet a lot of those mothers were well into their 40's having their last batches of kids

I had my children when I was "older" (though younger than you , OP)

I think there are two aspects to this. Firstly your age is just a number when it comes to parenting. I would certainly say that having teenagers around kept us younger in our attitudes. Our friends who chose not to have children seem to be more likely to be stuck in a time warp of 30 years ago while we like new music and more physical activity. DS2 works in a creative field and his idea inspire us.

Yes there are medical issues. Get advice and have tests on these because you need to be in a position to make informed decisions. I suspect the risks of birth to you may not be that great as you have already had a child.

Congratulations. Of course if you do find menopause difficult there is always HRT.

I went to college with a girl who's mum was 65 when she would've been 17/18, she didn't strike me as being some elderly parent who shouldn't have children, she was exactly the same as all the other mums! Go for it and congratulations

Sounds like a blessing.
Congratulations! Speak with your partner and you will decide together from there I’m sure.
X

Congratulations, sure the doctor will advise you about the extra tests 😀

Red ,chill dude. I have agreed with a lot of your opinions on here but the decision has to be an informed one that only the OP can make.

Nobody should be saying that it's absolutely fine and that all will be well or that the OP mustn't go ahead with the pregnancy. It's down to her and her DH to make that decision after they've weighed up all the risks involved.

Elendon yes of corse I did!! You clearly haven't rtft. Suggest you do.