To continue a pregnancy st 46-7

[Spoog1971xx]

That's it really... 46 1/2 years old pretty much menopausal and I appear to be up the duff. 😳 I ttc for 20 years ( finally got pregnant with DS at 41 with IVF) DH has azospermia. Now this happens. I'd love another child but aibu? I'm ancient and I have high blood pressure. The chances of MC are 50 percent,Down syndrome ? What if I die when the kid is ten? Jesus this is a turn up for the books. Aibu to continue this knowing there may be complications by the bucket load?

Both my Gran and my MIL had children well into their 40s. If this is something you've wanted, and hoped for, don't let age be the deciding factor. 67 when a son or daughter is 20 isn't that old.

You know what? Before reliable contraception women had babies up until the time they stopped ovuating and you know what? The world didn't come to an end and humans continued to exist.

Enjoy your little miracle

So you've established that pregnancy up until menopause is completely normal yet go on to call it a 'miracle'?

congratulations.

It's a miracle because OP previously had fertility issues. RTFT.

So you've established that pregnancy up until menopause is completely normal yet go on to call it a 'miracle'?

Have you read the OP's post? Cause I have.

It's not a miracle. It is not the immaculate conception. If you have unprotected sex, pregnancy is possible. It's biology.

Yes dear, it's so edgy to shit all over OP's little miracle. Have fun right-onning yourself.

My mum was mid to late 40s when she had me. I had a wonderful childhood and am obviously very pleased my mum decided to have me. She was a very laid back parent and I think it worked wonderfully.
You certainly wouldn't BU to not carry on with the pregnancy if you don't want to - but I wouldn't encourage you to make the decision on the basis that you feel you won't be a wonderful parent because of your age

My Mum was 44 when she had me and I had a brilliant childhood and upbringing. She's now 75 and has 6 grandchildren (age 8 months - 13 years) who she looks after all the time, she's amazing! Don't let age put you off xx

I think it's better to look at it pragmatically rather than using misty eyed rhetoric like 'little miracle'.

Of course you do dear.

I've asked for my post to be deleted anyway as I don't want to put a downer on the op.

Hi op, what I thought was lovely was when you said your dh would be "hysterical" as he loves kids :) what a wonderful surprise for him.

I watched the documentary a couple of years ago about the actress Tina Malone who had her daughter at 50. Everything was perfect. It may be worth a watch to reassure you. Her other daughter was around 30 I think.

What's for you won't go against you

I think it's better to look at it pragmatically rather than using misty eyed rhetoric like 'little miracle

Me too. At nearly 47 you have to weight up the risks. That isn't to say it's not possible to have a healthy baby at that age. It is but the number is obvious small.

Weigh*

Tina Malone had egg donation IVF though which is a different thing altogether.

Congratulations OP. I'm so pleased for you.

Slightly different but we are currently TTC. My DH is 54 and its doesn't worry us about his age, my grandad died aged 48 suddenly so it can happen at any age. On the other hand my great grandma is still with us! Life is for living today, not pinning everything on what might be.

Congratulations OP.

DH and I are currently ttc #1 at 46 (me) and 49 (DH) after not even meeting till we were in our 40’s. We will be 47/50 if we are success with our hopes. We know we won’t be typical parents on the school run but we’ll do our best and give a child as much love as we would have if we were 20 years younger; what we also have to offer is experience of life and it’s ups and downs.

Yes, there are greater risks once you reach your 40’s but the NHS will provide appropriate care and support during your pregnancy if you choose to continue with it.

I wish you all the best for the future and whatever decision you make.

Congratulations OP. YANBU of course.

re it being unfair on the child, to be born to a mother of 47, I asked DD age 6 "What is your life like?"

She says life is alright and good because she likes playing with her friends every day. She likes rainbows and unicorns - and maths!- and having lunch in a cafe with her mum. And purple things. And dancing.

Re where are all these mums in their 40s, I was amazed at some of the mums of my acquaintance, when we got talking, and it turned out they had had their kids at 46 and 48. Having young children is also a motivator to keep with the hair dye. Having a late menopause means you have higher oestrogen levels and all that entails. There are mums in their 40s at the nursery and on the school run who are still rocking the skinny jeans etc. - but you might not realise they are in their 40s perhaps.

My Nan was 46 with my Dad and she also helped bring up my uncles kids after his wife died. She went on independently til 93, so my dad was well into his 40s when she died.
Conversely my dad had me in his mid 20s and I lost him when I was 31.
Women are tough ( in my family anyway!) and babies keep you young.
Fingers crossed OP.

Op I had DC2 at 46. It all went well and I have no regrets. I had similar worries plus my relationship went great but sometimes in life you have to take a leap of faith. My leap was worth it.

To all those saying being an older mom is unfair to my children well if I'd had children in my 20s they would have been exposed to other challenges like living in poverty most likely. There is no perfect age to have children and every age is prone to certain risks.

OP, huge congratulations to you and your husband. It must be a huge shock but at the same time a total little miracle. I really believe that things are meant to be and it sounds like this baby is meant to be for you.

I had my children in my early-mid twenties which is probably average for my area. But there are plenty of mums at the school gates in their forties who look fab and are no more exhausted than any of us. Honestly, on mumsnet there will always be somebody to criticise-she’s too old to have a baby, she’s too young to have a baby, she shouldn’t be having a baby when she has X going on in her life, etc etc. It’s your life, not theirs! Ignore the haters and do what feels right for you. Worrying about babies and childhood comes at whatever age you have them, there will always feel like their are obstacles to overcome.

And please don’t worry about being the ‘old’ parent or leaving your children early in life. You could get hit by a bus tomorrow, like anyone of us.

Please update us soon!