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AIBU?

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Original poster

Tight friends taking my tip to cover their meal costs

315 replies

alid117 · 11/03/2018 20:58

Just been out for a meal with group of friends & some of their friends for a shared birthday. Lovely evening all agreed at start just to pay for what we have to eat and drink as some driving and some not - quite organised. Four out of the 14 of us worked out our share plus £5 tip added on each (great service from staff) then pasted on the receipt down to next lot. At the end heard one of the girls go to the waiter ‘sorry it’s not a huge tip’ and when asked how much had they left was told just £6!!! WTF!!! I was literally gagged by friend who didn’t want a scene...CF alert!

OP posts:
TeatimeForTheSoul · 13/03/2018 23:58

Agree it’s theft.
A while ago we had an expensive boozey meal out with lots of friends. We were a handful to manage and the staff were great. Everyone there was financially comfortable and at the end each chipped in and left a 10% tip. Organiser took it back from the waitress, only let the staff had 1/2 saying it was ‘way too much’ and told everyone she’d give the rest to charity. We were disgusted but were too afraid to argue with this social alpha. Only thing we could do was linger around and make it up to staff from our pocket. Cowardly but this sort of person can’t be reasoned with ... or trusted.

TeatimeForTheSoul · 14/03/2018 00:04

Just caught up with updates. Well done OP, wish I had your courage.

goldenbulldog · 14/03/2018 00:46

wow just wow yanbu

gussyfinknottle · 14/03/2018 07:11

I trust my friends not to steal from me. If they do, they are no longer my friends.

expatinscotland · 14/03/2018 08:42

'Only thing we could do was linger around and make it up to staff from our pocket. Cowardly but this sort of person can’t be reasoned with ... or trusted.'

Of course they can. They're not a terminator. They get away with ripping people off because people let them, the alpha they are is alpha bullies. Stuff cunts like this.

MichaelBendfaster · 14/03/2018 09:53

We were disgusted but were too afraid to argue with this social alpha.

A group of you against one cheeky cunt? Why so afraid?

Only thing we could do was linger around and make it up to staff from our pocket. Cowardly but this sort of person can’t be reasoned with ... or trusted.

As expat says, people like this get away with behaving like this simply because no one pulls them up on it. Fuck's sake.

TeatimeForTheSoul · 14/03/2018 10:20

Thank you for your kind and considered feedback. Rather than post an essay I only gave the details pertinent to this thread. We (my DP and I, not a group) did what we felt was right thanking the full context into account. I’m sure you feel your opinions could be helpful but I shall leave it there.

TeatimeForTheSoul · 14/03/2018 10:20

*taking

TeatimeForTheSoul · 14/03/2018 10:22

Finally, still admire you OP for using support here to stand up to this person. Unfortunately this was not possible for us for other reasons.

ralfeesmum · 14/03/2018 10:48

A thief, is a thief, is a thief!

Some swindling tart scooped most of your tip into her handbag - a light-fingered cow, and no mistake......

LexieLulu · 14/03/2018 12:04

Trusting people? Trusting people to not tell others she stole their money to get pissed with?

Trampy

Tillybilly1 · 14/03/2018 12:50

I would have said something, sometimes people are so bad at maths they don't add up right or forget drinks etc

Original poster
alid117 · 14/03/2018 14:31

Final update...just popped in and had cash in thank you card to staff for Sat night (in case different staff work during the week etc) and got a hug from the manager!

And CF has blocked me on f/b 🤣🤣🤣

Thanks MNs xxxx

OP posts:
TeisanLap · 14/03/2018 15:11

Well Done Alid. That CF actually took food out of the mouths of the restaurant staff.

Shame on her.

And. be thankful she blocked you. It’s the only decent thing she’s done Grin

Greyponcho · 14/03/2018 15:14

Hooray!
Here, have a Gin to console yourself over having been blocked on f/b by the CF Grin

KERALA1 · 14/03/2018 15:34

Good for you OP! If this were a film you would be heroine and she would be the baddie!

expatinscotland · 14/03/2018 15:48

Result, OP!

This is why so many restaurants have mandatory gratuities for large parties. Next time, in the company of such cunts, speak up there and then. Who cares if it makes a scene, they're the ones who should be embarrassed.

MichaelBendfaster · 14/03/2018 15:53

Great stuff, OP. Grin at her blocking you. Bet you're gutted.

LoveInTokyo · 14/03/2018 16:47

I sometimes get annoyed about restaurants with a service charge, because even if the service was terrible you end up paying it anyway because you don’t want to make a scene.

When I was a waitress (back in the day) we used to apply a 10% service charge for tables of more than 6. Sometimes I would gamble and leave it off for nice tables who I thought might tip more. But it is often the big tables which (despite often being harder work and making more mess) don’t tip well. Probably because it’s easier for cheapskates to hide in the crowd.

MrsDilber · 14/03/2018 16:52

CF definitely.

Is the standard for tipping a meal 10%?

Also, do gratuities paid via card get passed on to the server of that table?

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 14/03/2018 20:03

That CF actually took food out of the mouths of the restaurant staff.

TeisanLap Oh come on! What hyperbole. No, she really didn’t.

While everyone can agree that CF is indeed a CF and was very wrong to steal the money allocated, she did not “actually take food out of the restaurant staff’s mouths”.

A tip is an extra; they are paid to do their job and do not need tips to make up their wage. We are thankfully not the US.

snowone · 14/03/2018 21:53

That is ridiculous! And it is also a terrible tip!! i have a couple of friends who hate tipping and need a lot of encouragement to even leave a few extra pence. I would've had to say something! Next time ask for separate bills and leave your own tip!!

ArcheryAnnie · 14/03/2018 22:07

Bloody well done, OP!

WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 14/03/2018 23:34

I have a couple of friends who hate tipping and need a lot of encouragement to even leave a few extra pence

snowone You could harass “encourage” me as much as you wanted; it wouldn’t make me leave a tip when I don’t agree with it. If you continually did it every time we went out, we wouldn’t be friends anymore after the third time.

LoveInTokyo · 14/03/2018 23:42

WhatToDoAboutThis2017

Fair enough.

If I was out with friends who weren’t prepared to tip (unless there was an obvious reason for it like terrible service) then I would be embarrassed to be out with such cheapskates, so I would pay their share of the tip and then avoid going out for dinner with them again.