Tight friends taking my tip to cover their meal costs

[alid117]

Just been out for a meal with group of friends & some of their friends for a shared birthday. Lovely evening all agreed at start just to pay for what we have to eat and drink as some driving and some not - quite organised. Four out of the 14 of us worked out our share plus £5 tip added on each (great service from staff) then pasted on the receipt down to next lot. At the end heard one of the girls go to the waiter ‘sorry it’s not a huge tip’ and when asked how much had they left was told just £6!!! WTF!!! I was literally gagged by friend who didn’t want a scene...CF alert!

KERALA1 I very much doubt that as nobody has ever tipped or attempted to tip any of my colleagues in the entire time I’ve worked there, and a lot of our customers will be ones who tip when they go to other restaurants.

So, you can say you would, but I’d put a lot of money on you not.

What does this table service generally involve though, other than running the food over? You seem to be very passionate about your role so but I've used McDonald's table service and just received a tray with food on it from someone who walked 2 metres. I probably wouldn't give some a couple of quid for that sorry.

Unihorn On our end table service involves doing the exact same thing in terms of putting the order together, but then going and having to find said customer (who is supposed to leave their receipt on view on the table but rarely ever does), making sure they have everything they need so they don’t have to get up (napkins, straws, condiments etc.), and returning to the table to make sure everything’s okay if there’s time (which there unfortunately usually isn’t, but we do try). It takes a lot more time than collection orders.

And really, if it was “just two meters” there wouldn’t be a need for table service. We aren’t a big store whatsoever, yet we are bigger than a lot of restaurants.

I am very passionate about my job, I absolutely love it, and I don’t want to be tipped; I don’t agree with tipping anyone. My entire point is that it’s hypocritical to tip certain NMW sectors yet not others, when waiters aren’t doing anything harder or more special than anyone else. They’re simply doing their job as they are paid to do.

Of course it’s expected in the UK, I live in Scotland and I would rather not eat out if I wasn’t going to leave a tip.

It really ISN'T, I eat out lots, never tip and always get great service.
If you have issues around having to tip, you really don't have to. Not sure why you're so adamant that tipping is expected.
It isn't. It's nice, sure, but you don't have to.

I’ve repeatedly explained why, but here we go again:

I'd save your breath, it's obvious fingers in ears la la not listening....

No. Its not that you are "right". We have been brought up that it is polite and mannerly to tip when receiving waiter service. We get that we don't "have" to tip. You are not going to persuade a large section of society that that tipping is "wrong" because you want that to be true. Many people will form adverse opinions about you for not tipping and sadly there is nothing you can do about that.

Sounds to me like outright theft, plain and simple

For this reason I give exactly what my meal is worth when it comes to paying the bill - there’s always some idiot who says ‘put the rest on my card’ and acts all surprised that there is no outstanding balance. I then pop my tip on the table as I leave, as if I ‘forgot’.

The sort of places my work go often add 10% for big numbers anyway. I think lots of people see this in lieu of a tip.

IME, tipping in the U.K. tends to frequently be done by people who have been in the service industry themselves, having been there and done that, so to speak.
They know what’s it’s like when you’re balancing several scalding hot dishes, heavy with food while a large group can’t pay attention for a few seconds while their food is being delivered. There’s twelve of you yes, but three of you ordered the same... please try to remember wtf you ordered to eat instead of either sitting there gawping like a fish, glued to your phone, or, ignoring my pleas cheery announcements of your food and ignoring other members of your party who are trying to interrupt you by reminding you what you ordered.

OP, you and other people at the table who left a tip were done out of £64. You shouldn't have allowed yourself to be gagged.

Did you understand what us being said here? It has nothing to do with whether people agree with leaving tips or not.

Happened to me before, now I pay then leave tip on table as we leave!

Absolutely shocking. As an ex waitress myself, hours are long, unsociable and low pay. Still, if that was my friend I would not be impressed!!!

I know a couple of teenage girls who work for a restaurant and the owners won't allow them the tips - they just take it themselves - the customers don't know this .

Sorry back to the point - I would have definitely had to say something - it's unfair on the ones who gave the tip and to the waiting staff (hoping their bosses are decent and let them take it home)

Bloody good for you OP

If I were you I would say something. It’s never to late to raise it with the friend and you absolutely should go back to her and tell her how much it upset you. Ultimately, it’s up to her if she doesn’t want to leave a tip but making the decision to use everyone else’s tip to pay the food bill is theft.

Nomorechickens Ok. But fast food staff work hard, are on low pay and also do antisocial hours (much more so than waiters as a lot of fast food restaurants are now 24 hours). Do you tip them at least 10%?

I think CEOs should earn the same as street cleaners but ideally with street cleaners getting big pay rises.

There is always someone worse off, is that a good reason to begrudge a good waiter or waitress their due?

This is the trouble with paying for your own. Whether accidentally or otherwise someone will forget about something they ordered or add it up wrong.

I'd save your breath, it's obvious fingers in ears la la not listening....

CadyHeron Yes, I think you might be right.

There is always someone worse off, is that a good reason to begrudge a good waiter or waitress their due?

Coyoacan I don’t begrudge it; if people want to tip they are free to tip. We thankfully live in a free society where you have the option of tipping or not tipping and both are acceptable.

I do, however, have a problem with those attempting to pretend it is rude not to tip. It may be rude to them (just like their insistence is rude to me), but it is not rude in general as much as they might wish it was.

I also simply pointed out that if you’re only tipping certain NMW sectors you are being hypocritical.

If you actually want to eat out again with the ones who stole from you and other friends, make sure that they pay for theirs first? Or you pay for your amount by card individually so there isn't a large amount of cash? How awful.
This is really not about the ethics of tipping, your money was stolen by friends.

I've had something similar - we all put in our share plus tip, and one girl counted up what was there and just put in the balance meaning there was little or no tip for the restaurant. She'd never done this before so we were taken aback and didn't challenge her. Nobody will forget though..

What was the tipping policy out of curiosity. I have been to restaurants where groups over ten or twelve have a 10% - 12% service charge added.

What chain/restaurant was it?

Dh always checks with waiter that they receive tips themselves so if the owners take the tips we tip directly in cash. Wouldn't bother personally but he always does - love that about him.

Minimum tip should be 10% of total bill unless service charge is included, 12% is better but harder to work out.

I don't know how it is in the UK, having never worked there since I left as a teenager, but in North America (both Canada and US), servers in a sit down type restaurant (not McDs or KFC or BK) make far far less than minimum wage, with the expectation that tips make up for it, while the fast food joint workers would receive minimum wage.

"The American federal government requires a wage of at least $2.13 per hour be paid to employees that receive at least $30 per month in tips. If wages and tips do not equal the federal minimum wage of $7.25 per hour during any week, the employer is required to increase cash wages to compensate."