Tight friends taking my tip to cover their meal costs

[alid117]

Just been out for a meal with group of friends & some of their friends for a shared birthday. Lovely evening all agreed at start just to pay for what we have to eat and drink as some driving and some not - quite organised. Four out of the 14 of us worked out our share plus £5 tip added on each (great service from staff) then pasted on the receipt down to next lot. At the end heard one of the girls go to the waiter ‘sorry it’s not a huge tip’ and when asked how much had they left was told just £6!!! WTF!!! I was literally gagged by friend who didn’t want a scene...CF alert!

Tipping is a degrading form of payment. Staff should be paid enough for the job they do. Basically you are paying the restaurant owner for not paying the staff enough money. I'm fed up with tipping, while the owners of these businesses get rich on paying staff a minimal wage for these jobs. It is interesting to note that these are often female jobs like hairdressers, beauticians and maids.
This is a sick American practice.

However,I tip, where expected, until we get rid of this practice.
In this case the discussion is about 'friends' stealing money off the staff to pay for their meals, and the answer is obvious. You should have spoken up. I have in the past, taken back the money and put it in the staff's hands, when someone said they did not believe in tipping.

myadviceisdontskippaps The tipping culture in the US is irrelevant here; they don’t pay their staff a minimum wage.

In the UK everyone gets a minimum wage and tipping is not required.

WhatToDo - yes, I understand in UK that might be the case, but I thought I saw someone posting that they wouldn't tip anyone at all, table service or not, and read that as applying to when they go abroad as well. my mistake if I misread that.

'tipping is not required*
Maybe but if I get good service I always tip-in my town (as in many others I'm sure) waiting staff are often students. A few quid per table makes a difference to them over the week.
Anyway it's still theft and tightness so they would be ex friends of mine.

If I had a waiter I would tip. If I didn't, I probably wouldn't, but if there's a tip box on the counter when I order I will always put something in it.

Comparing 'table service' in macdonalds to a proper sit down 3 course meal in a restaurant is quite frankly embarrassing and insulting to wait staff.
That's not to say macdonalds employees don't work hard or long hours but it is not the same level of service by any stretch of the imagination.
The crucial difference being missed and a factor in why macdonalds workers don't get tips is because it's ordered and paid for at the counter.
In restaurants the bill is brought over after all courses are finished, usually on a tip tray and that's when people decide to tip or not.

Do you mean you each added on £5 tip. But whether you did or didn't the other folk stole your money. And you should contact them and ask for it to be repaid. It wasn't for them.

myadviceisdontskippaps I said I don’t agree with tipping and in this country I never would. However, when I go to the US I do tip simply because if the government aren’t going to look after their citizens and pay them a fair wage someone should.

Mrskeats A few quid would make a difference to anyone in a NMW job; that is not only applicable to students.

Wow just logged back on and it’s on a 11 pages! AND it made the daily email 😂😂😂

Update...mutual friend transferred money to me and I’m dropping it off tomorrow when I’m on way home from work yay! Thanks MNs for sparing me on! CF done bitchy f/b quote (screen shot from mutual friend) about ‘trusting people’ the eejit really doesn’t get it...

What the fudge does EOTF mean? Urban Dictionary says Eat Off The Floor but even McDonalds isn't that rank is it?

Yes op you are awful op you cannot be "trusted" to keep quiet when someone else nicks your money

Lol just sent her a f/b friend request for a laugh 😂😂

Ha, we have family like this, they round up all the money, then 'helpfully' go to the cashier and pay the 'balance' on their card.

OMG what CFs! This reminds me of the time,some years ago,when I went out for a meal with my now exH and our DD,my DM and MIL. At the end of the meal,my exH and I put the cost of our meals in,plus a 3 quid tip. As did my DM. My MIL put her's in and then picked up a pound coin,saying her's had come to 9 pounds,and that was her change from the tenner she'd put in!

I've had this happen both as a customer where other people at the table have essentially nicked tips to pay towards their meal, and seen it done lots of times when I've been working as waiting staff.
Its theft of your money and disgraceful. If they thought the tip was too big then fair enough if they wanted to check people meant to leave that much but you don't just take it! Also, the waiter or waitress probably spent a massive chunk of their shift looking after your 1 big table - so instead of perhaps getting lots of smaller tips from several tables that they could have had, they would have lost out and only got the £6 that this person decided to leave. I have a headache so sorry if my explanation isn't very coherent!
I see this has ended up in a debate on tipping anyway so will comment on this:

*WhatToDoAboutThis2017

Unihorn Right, but fast food workers also have a thousand and one things to do at the same time as serve people whether that be counter collection or table service. I would say it’s much harder working in fast food than it isn’t being a waiter, and those who’ve joined us from waiting concur with that.*

Sorry but having worked in both previously, I find waiting tables much harder. Not saying fast food work isn't hard but I did not find it a tenth as stressful. Its much more of a service as Unihorn pointed out - seating, taking orders, advising on meals and recommending wine etc, providing information on ingredients etc, ensuring clean cutlery and napkins are replaced between courses,offering refills, running food and drinks and checking its all correct and looking good and gets to the right customer, getting condiments, polishing cutlery, and all the clean up after! Plus all the extras like dealing with birthday cakes and special touches for celebrations, organising bookings and juggling 10000 things and once whilst making sure your guest has the best time possible. I don't expect tips, and half the time people don't leave them or just leave pocket change, but I am damn well grateful for them.
For me tipping is NOT about making up wages. Its a thank you for a good experience and everything you have done and just a nice custom. I tip my taxi driver, hairdresser and sometimes the delivery driver for takeaways and I get the staff at DS school chocs and thank you gifts at end of year and Christmas. Maybe I am a mug but I think its a nice thing to do.
And yes when I worked in a clothes shop at 16 we were not allowed to accept tips.
If you don't believe in tipping then fine, but I don't think its hypocritical to tip a waiter and not my checkout assistant at Tesco.

YANBU.

I was fuming when someone I went for lunch with did this, but he has Aspergers so I let it go.

OMG I cannot believe I’m reading this. You all sat back while they stole from you and the waiting staff. A quick ‘hang on that can’t be right as we’d already collected £20 tip up this end’ would’ve done it. You need new friends!

What the fudge does EOTF mean?

FelicityMorange It’s a McDonalds acronym; it stands for Experience of the Future. All McDonalds restaurants in the UK are being refurbished into EOTF restaurants.

If a McDonalds has order kiosks and a collection point, it’s EOTF.

Urban Dictionary says Eat Off The Floor but even McDonalds isn't that rank is it?

McDonalds are extremey strict when it comes to hygiene, health and safety. They are some of the cleanest restaurants you will ever go in to, far surpassing many standard restaurants.

It could be that service was added on. I've been to restaurants where they charge service on food and on all the drinks so if people were drinking bottles of wine, the service charge goes through the roof and those who only pay their bill and not service leave the person paying the bill shortchanged. Sounds like your twenty quid went towards the 10-15% service charge. The £6 on top may have been an actual tip.

Well you can see why we didn't know what it meant if it's a macdonalds company acronym!

McDonalds are extremey strict when it comes to hygiene, health and safety. They are some of the cleanest restaurants you will ever go in to, far surpassing many standard restaurants.

Alright Ronald, calm your big red boots, it was clearly meant to be a joke

You love your job and your employer, we get it. Is your nose red or brown?

Awful tip and cheeky friends! Even if friends were tight arses it still should have been the £20 that you left!

Well you can see why we didn't know what it meant if it's a macdonalds company acronym!

KERALA1 It doesn’t really matter if you know what it stands for or not (although it is frequently used in the media), it doesn’t stop you understanding my general point.

PyongyangKipperbang Perpetuating a stigma like that when it’s simply not true is not acceptable. If people could possibly fall for it and not take it as a joke, I will make sure it is corrected.

And yes, I love my job and the company I work for. There’s nothing to mock there; I feel sorry for anyone who doesn’t love their job. You spend so much time there it really would be a shame if you didn’t enjoy it.

I leave a tip for good service. Friends I go out with don't.

I'd be mightily pissed off if they took the tip I left to pay for their own meals.

As it has happened many moons ago, I learned my lesson and now hand my tip directly to the person I want it to go to.

As for tipping being an American thing, well, my mum worked as a waitress in a hotel in the late 1930's (I was a very late baby) and always taught me to tip as she appreciated every penny she got in tips.

OP, can you update when you've given the money to the poor waiting staff please? I feel so awful for them and really want to know their reaction!

V glad you got the money back!