Tight friends taking my tip to cover their meal costs

[alid117]

Just been out for a meal with group of friends & some of their friends for a shared birthday. Lovely evening all agreed at start just to pay for what we have to eat and drink as some driving and some not - quite organised. Four out of the 14 of us worked out our share plus £5 tip added on each (great service from staff) then pasted on the receipt down to next lot. At the end heard one of the girls go to the waiter ‘sorry it’s not a huge tip’ and when asked how much had they left was told just £6!!! WTF!!! I was literally gagged by friend who didn’t want a scene...CF alert!

Bloody hell okay. Don't eat me alive. I corrected myself.

Unless a service charge was added on and the 6 pounds was on top of that?

£6 between 14 is only 42 pence tip per person so they have stolen £4.58 from you and your 3 friends, never mind what anyone else tipped

No, they have stolen at least £14, probably quite a bit more. The OP and friends put in £20, and only £6 was given in tips. So that's £14 unaccounted for. If - say - 8 other people put in £2 each for a tip, £30 has been nicked. There is a small chance it's a genuine mistake, for example because someone's contribution to the bill was accidentally missed out, but that's pretty unlikely, given that everyone knew they were paying for themselves from the start.

What you do about it now depends on how much you value the friendships. I don't understand why your friend stopped you saying anything, OP. It's not a question of the others being tight and under-tipping - they have nicked your cash.

I hate this kind of thing. Hate it.

I went out for a friend's birthday meal a couple of weeks ago, and there were a couple of people from her work there, and one of them tried to pull the same thing. She didn't even try to hide it. She sat there and said something like, "oh there's already X amount on the plate," so put her £20 note back, and took a fiver out of her purse! I immediately said, "er no, the reason there's X amount on the plate, is to cover the tip, so you need to pay for your FULL meal."

Because I'd spoken out, a couple of the others at the table agreed with me, so she begrudgingly took the £20 back out, BUT as her meal had come to just under £17, she took £3 'change' off the plate. Cheeky fucker!

(I went back, and put another fiver on the plate, to cover her share of the tip. I hate to see wait staff, who are often on low wages, shafted out of tips).

Did you agree on tips beforehand? Not everyone agrees with tipping.

Fair enuf that everyone gets to decide how much they will tip. Using tips already added to cover your own meal is just not OK. This happened to me, once.

Haven't been out to eat with that person since, sigh.

Hotcross whether they agree with tipping or not if X pays for their meal and adds £5, £10 or £50 as a tip Y can't decide they 'don't agree with tipping' and take X's tip off the price of their bill and decide to leave a smaller overall tip! X should pay for their portion and not add anything if they don't like it!

had a friend who would do similar...airily announcing "no cash, I'll pay with my card....!" So we'd all tot up our bills, fork over the cash usually leaving a tip, she'd march up and pay the total, and not leave a tip. and cram the cash into her purse, but you all got that right??

and that's why I do not go out for meals with her anymore.

Spider, you think £6 from a table of 14 is fine?

Op I'd have been furious.

Yes thexx, they have taken £4.58 from the op and each of her friends so 4 4.58 just from them . I realise that not everyone else may have wanted to tip 5 each

Agree with others, it's theft

If you have a whatsapp group I'd be tempted to say "what happened to the £20 tip that 4 of us started? Whoever was short of money for their meal, they should have just said - not just taken what was meant for the really good service we had from the staff". You can't just say nothing, that's really appalling behaviour.

I'm afraid I would not have been able to stay quiet. they've effectively stolen money

Absolutely it's theft. How do these people like ve with themselves?

There's a difference between deciding not to put in a tip on top of the cost of what you ate and stealing the tips put in by other people.

I work in a restaurant and this happens with about a third of all parties that we serve unfortunately...

Did you agree on tips beforehand? Not everyone agrees with tipping.

As everyone has said you don't have to agree with tipping you have to think that stealing is wrong!

that's utterly revolting. you have to call these people out. it's completely unacceptable and by saying nothing you're condoning their behaviour. easier to go with the flow and not make a scene eh?

Terrible behaviour. I eat out with someone (not particularly out of choice) who always enjoys the meal but when the bill comes she WITHOUT FAIL decides the service was terrible and that she's not leaving a tip. So it looks like we've left a really crappy tip.
This annoys me a lot - I'm not sure how I would have coped with the situation you described - I don't think I would have been able to bite my tongue!

Did you agree on tips beforehand? Not everyone agrees with tipping.

So you dont tip? you shouldnt have to agree with everyone else that I want to tip with your money and then if they dont agree with tipping they can steal your tip to pay for their dinner.

not only has she stolen from you and your friends, she has stolen from the waiting staff, truly shit behavior, I would have to say something about it. and would want to ask for the £20 you and your friends put it back

Some people may not agree with tipping, that’s entirely up to them but what’s not ok is them freeloading off of other people. They certainly don’t mind other people tipping when they are using it to subsidise their meals.

That is appalling behaviour. A table that size should be leaving a sizeable tip in my opinion. I know not everyone agrees with it but that is a discussion to be had face to face - not steal the tip someone else has left to cover your meal!

You should have said something at the time though OP. But I am not sure I would have either. There would certainly be no repeat meals

Be inclined to pay bill then add tip directly to server in future. Cheeky feckers

So you friends stole money from you and you didn't say anything????!!

I have seen this happen but the persons involved WERE confronted (they were quite open about - as it would help them pay for their round at bar we were heading to). Other people including myself had deliberately put a tip in and wanted it to remain as a tip for the staff.

Big argument. It wasn't really worth it in the sense that the culprits remained unapologetic and did it at again subsequent meals. Ultimately large group no longer meets up for meals.

Best tactic if you want to keep meeting this group for meals out is to only ever put down just enough to cover your share of the bill at the point of payment and then either have an additional group whip round after bill is settled/ slip a bit under your plate whilst no-one is looking to ensure that the tip remains distinct and completely separate from the bill.