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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Thankful for having the strength to have a natural birth - does this make you feel anything?

326 replies

TuscanMum · 10/03/2018 16:18

The lady in question was saying that she was thankful to God for having the strength to have a natural birth, but that’s not really why I’m asking.

A lady on instagram posted this.

It’s annoyed me because, having had two c sections, the implication is that I must be weak. I know her post was nothing to do with me, she doesn’t know me, but I can’t really explain why it’s irked me. I probably need to get out more!

I believe all women should be congratulated, however they give birth.

Tell me to pipe down and I’ll shuffle along😳

Is this irritating or is it me?

OP posts:
blastomama · 10/03/2018 16:19

I find anyone talking about births irritating, but some more than others.

Trailedanderror · 10/03/2018 16:21

I feel proud that I managed it, in a small 'go me and my ok body' way. It's crass to say it out loud or on social media though.

Alabama3 · 10/03/2018 16:22

one day we will stop judging other wo/men for choices they make/dont make /have thrust upon them

i dont give a shiny shit how you pushed your dc out, through the door, or through the sun roof! Pregnancy from TTC to the end of the process if bloody hard work, having dc is hard work, not having dc (i guess) is hard work with everyone wanting to know why you dont

i think that the 'thankful to god' is more irritating than anything

pallisers · 10/03/2018 16:23

mildly irritating.

I'd have posted in response "Pretty pissed off at God for not making my pelvis bigger"

ChippyMinton · 10/03/2018 16:24

Strength has nothing to do with it, it’s down to luck of the draw IMO and IME.

Windmyonlyfriend · 10/03/2018 16:24

People who spout that kind of stuff on social media are self obsessed cockwombles.

I’m thankful for having the strength not to be a self absorbed cockwomble.

Alabama3 · 10/03/2018 16:25

managed what Trailed? doing something than millions of women have done? at least when we do it now (in the UK) we have pain relief , the knowledge if it starts to go wrong we have medical facilities to make it right (i'm obviously talking in the main here, i know things do go wrong)

but at least we dont have to have many many children because a lot of them wont survive any more

i'm bloody proud of my DC and still say to them 'i made you' i'm proud of that, but i dont think it matters at all how they got out

PinkHeart5914 · 10/03/2018 16:25

I feel proud to have had natural births and I am proud of what my body done.

However i have never felt the need to talk about my births and find talking about birth bloody boring as I don’t really care how little Johnny or Jane was born tbh.

LoveEricLove · 10/03/2018 16:25

It isn't about you. Someone having a sense of achievement or pride around something in their life has nothing to do with you and doesn't detract from anything you've done.

RandomMess · 10/03/2018 16:25

For me I found labour and then pushing out DC amazing and empowering. I don't think CS is the easy option, nor do I think it means that someone hasn't given birth.

I am thankful that I had that experience no idea if I had a CS I would have felt the same or not.

Think Instagram person rather deluded tbh...

GreenOr · 10/03/2018 16:27

I would think nothing of someone having a natural birth, it’s normal.
I have awe for anyone who has had a c section though, those mothers are brave!

cadburyegg · 10/03/2018 16:27

Yeah I don’t get this “I’m super smug because my babies came out of my vagina instead of my tummy” attitude.

And I’ve had two vaginal births.

It has nothing to do with “strength”.

WorraLiberty · 10/03/2018 16:27

If she really wanted a natural birth and managed to have one, she's bound to be pleased she had the strength.

I doubt she's implying anything about other people.

Snowyhere2018 · 10/03/2018 16:28

Meh.

Just ignore.

It doesn't matter how the baby arrives. The hard work is once the little bugger gets here.

Trailedanderror · 10/03/2018 16:28

Woah @Alabama3
As I said it's not something I'd say outloud, are you criticising me for my feelings? Confused

BossWitch · 10/03/2018 16:28

I'd think "oh sod off you pretentious wankbadger". And I had a natural birth.

SmashedMug · 10/03/2018 16:29

Different people are proud of different things. Different people find strength in different things. People can feel achievement in their thing without it being a personal attack.

NoSwsForYou · 10/03/2018 16:30

I had a natural birth that had nothing to do with strength as I understand it. I begged for a caesarean and wasn’t given one - I was not brave and I was not strong. In fact I’m still a little ashamed of how badly I coped! I would never post anything like that, purely because I don’t think ‘strength’ comes in to it. I think it’s luck.

Ddssdd · 10/03/2018 16:30

I had natural birth with twins. I wasn't strong, I was lucky! There could have been ay amount of complications, making this impossible.

jaseyraex · 10/03/2018 16:31

I think everyone is well within their right to feel proud if they've had a natural birth. But it's got piss all to do with god or strength. That part would have annoyed me too, you are certainly just as strong as anyone else who's given birth. Pregnancy is hard. Women are amazing and strong for all they do during pregnancy alone. I had to have an emergency c section, was gutted at the time but now I'm proud that I did what I could and that DS still came out healthy.

Spanglybangles · 10/03/2018 16:31

I’m more impressed by a woman’s ability to grow and carry a baby,safe warm and loved, until it’s ready to enter the world....by whatever form of birth is chosen. We ladies are amazing Smile

RiverRose · 10/03/2018 16:31

People will always have an opinion about everything. It is best just to concentrate on yourself and your own feelings about it.

We've had IVF, some think IVF is morally wrong.

I have had an elective c-section before, all I felt was relief to 'escape' the agonising pain of labour I had felt in previous pregnancy. No regrets and certainly not disappointed in myself.

Pengggwn · 10/03/2018 16:32

I'll be honest: privately, I am proud that I managed to give birth naturally with gas and air. It fucking hurt, it took forever, and I managed reasonably well. But that's not for public consumption. Other mums who didn't give birth naturally - for whatever reason - or who wanted more pain relief don't need to hear me congratulating myself. I only say it now because you asked.

ichifanny · 10/03/2018 16:32

I do think meh when someone says it but to be honest I’m proud of myself for managing with. T incision c section after a breech baby who got stuck , when I say managing I mean not dying .

SimplySwimming · 10/03/2018 16:32

managed what Trailed? doing something than millions of women have done?

I don't care what other women do. But I've had three vaginal births and I'm proud of myself, especially for ds3's birth for a variety of reasons.

Sorry if that offends you, it's kind of tough shit though considering that my own pride in myself is bog all to do with you.