Thankful for having the strength to have a natural birth - does this make you feel anything?

[TuscanMum]

The lady in question was saying that she was thankful to God for having the strength to have a natural birth, but that’s not really why I’m asking.

A lady on instagram posted this.

It’s annoyed me because, having had two c sections, the implication is that I must be weak. I know her post was nothing to do with me, she doesn’t know me, but I can’t really explain why it’s irked me. I probably need to get out more!

I believe all women should be congratulated, however they give birth.

Tell me to pipe down and I’ll shuffle along😳

Is this irritating or is it me?

I think how you give birth is mostly luck, nothing to do with strength/ weakness or anything else.
Unless you have an ELCS in which case I think you are very sensible

I agree o/p.

It also pisses me off when people attribute something they did for having a vaginal birth/no pain relief/birth at home...

For example if you think positive/work out/hypnobirth/drink raspberry tea/refuse intervention/thank god/pay small children to scatter glitter you will have a pain free vaginal birth.

implying if you don't, then it's you're own fault you need a section.

Nothing would have stopped a placental abruption. So yes, people saying "oh i did hypnobirthing, so that meant i had no complications" in response to finding out I had a c section does piss me off.

Same as people who assume my section was some kind of easy way out of a long labour. Like my friend who told me that she thought she'd need a c-section "like you, for failing to progress" when she was 5 hours through a 10 hour start-to -finish labour.

It's definitely annoying- it's the implication that this woman is so incredibly special that her made up deity of choice picked her - HER, out of ALL the women in the WHOLE WORLD, due to her specialness and STRENGTH - to bestow the special gift of an adequately sized vagina and a suitably positioned baby.

My DC were born vaginally. Nothing to do with strength or god, I was just fortunate that they'd got settled in a straightforward position and I was lucky to escape other health complications. DC2 was born very quickly with no pain relief (long story of midwife cock-ups) and it felt a bit panicked and brutal.

I'm in awe of women who have c-sections. I can't imagine any other kind of major surgery where you're not only left to your own devices to recover, you also have to tend to the every need of a tiny,vulnerable, demanding baby.

I wouldn't say I was proud to have given birth naturally to my twins, but I am thankful. Mainly because I have sisters and close friends who had to have a section for medical reasons, and the being unable to drive for six weeks afterwards bit would have seriously annoyed me. Not to mention the risk of infection - three of us had oozing scars for months afterwards, and one of us still wasn't healed by the time she gave birth to the next child! Obviously vaginal birth can leave lasting damage in its trail too of course, but I suppose I was more aware of these situations.

The girls were born at 33+2 which is crazy early even for twins and sure enough spent their first four weeks in SCBU. Relying on family to ferry me up to hospital daily would have been a massive imposition and I desperately wanted to establish and maintain BF.

I wouldn't have dreamt of posting anything like that on FB though, in my view my personal opinions on fairly private subjects are best shared here, amongst my lovely, ANONYMOUS, mumsnet buddies!

Haven't read the whole thread but think that is absolute rubbish! Had 3 natural (should I say strong deliveries) & was assured DC 4 would be a shoo in! Far from it ended up with an emergency c sa17 tion & PPH. Took quite a long time to recover.
I know it is a cliche but healthy mum & baby is what is important.
Don't get me started on breast feeding / bottle feeding .

I also think it’s really odd to refuse pain relief. We have the technology to make it much less painful and more dignified, why not take it?

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I didn't want to be unable to walk (epidural) or out of my mind (pethidine). Not odd, just personal preference.

Should be c section (not a South Wales postcode!)!!

Pengggwn I fully support each woman choosing (I chose a cesarean which raises eyebrows) I just can’t imagine why either of those things would be worse than severe pain?

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Fair enough, but we're all different. That doesn't make me 'odd'. I am odd, but just not for those reasons!

I felt proud after giving birth to DD2, I managed to push her out myself and was a fairly straightforward Labour/birth. DD1 was a nightmare ending up in theatre with forceps, it was an awlful experience for me.

I wouldn’t shout about it though. It is a very personal pride and I am no different to millions of other women.

I don’t think it matters how baby arrives, women should feel proud that our bodies can grow these little miracles!

Pengggwn odd wasn’t the right word, sorry. I just can’t imagine the reasonings for it. To me it’d be like refusing an anaesthetic for a filling or something!

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It's okay. I don't see it like that, as when I had a filling I was still, physically and mentally, in control of the majority of my functions. I've heard of women having really unpleasant experiences with pethidine, and not remembering the first moments with the baby because it was administered late, and things like that. And with an epidural you're basically paralysed. I didn't want that, but if someone else doesn't mind it, I have no opinion on that.

My dad refuses anaesthetic for fillings 🤣 he’s too tight to pay for it.

I didn’t want an epidural. I do know a number of people who had epidurals before their contractions started and so they never experienced what labour felt like and I did want to feel it, for the experience and curiosity really. As it goes had I had an epidural I would’ve avoided a general anaesthetic so it would’ve been better I guess.

Pethedine is shit. I wouldn’t EVEN BOTHER

I suppose I can see that. For me, I was terrified of the pain and of having an anxiety attack, not to mention tearing. The whole uncertain process terrified and disgusted me (I don’t find it disgusting when others do it! Just for me) So I had a cesarean to be planned, calm and I felt really “in control” because I picked the day, memorised the surgery step by step and knew what was coming.

Never considered the epidural could make women feel out of control before, thanks for that!

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Quite alright.

I had a spinal for c section. I was absolutely terrified by it. DH said all I did was complain
That I couldn't feel my legs (ashamed face).
This really is not a competition & everyone is different.

She’s talking utter rubbish. No one gets a medal for best childbirth method. Surely all that anyone cares about is healthy mother and child.

It’s a bit of an attention seeking post. Did she get lots of sycophantic pats on the back posts after?

She's on glue. Iv had one assisted and two natural. My second birth was lovely as births go - all breathing, water and relaxation - I'm happy I had a good experience but not proud or smug or deem myself stronger.

Sounds like she needs to find some interests or hobbies.
Thank fuck for my elective sections. Calm, controlled, 2 healthy kids and a reasonable (right now) pelvic floor. I feel invincibly strong

I've had 3 births, 2 natural and 1 emergency c section, with a duffetent experience of pain relief each time. Im just grateful I have 3 healthy children, their births mean nothing to me now. It doesn't offend me if someone says they are "proud" to have given birth without pain relief, I just don't get it that's all, I don't feel that's anything to be proud of, why be in pain if you don't need to be.

Thing is giving birth vaginally is really primal. Your overwhelming sense after can be that you’ve ‘survived’ it and it’s a funny heightened emotion (for me not an overwhelmingly positive one, but an emotion nevertheless). And your partner can feel the same if they’ve witnessed it. So you’re grateful to your body that you got through it.

That said - and I did it 3 times - it bloody hurts. It’s overrated and I didn’t feel instant bonds or rushes of love for any of mine because my emotions were as above.

But very intense.

I'm just glad I now have 3 healthy dcs ( 1 emcs, 1elcs , 1vbac , ) after 2 mcs and numerous pregnancy problems ....doesn't care how they were born or fed and I don't judge other women either

I wanted a natural birth but had to have an emergency C section which was incredibly painful. My husband almost passed out when he saw the doctor rip my stomach muscles open (apparently it heals better this way instead of cutting). I lost lots of blood and had to have 2litres of blood transfused. But to be honest, I have lots of friends who gave birth naturally who said they can't jump on a trampoline without peeing themselves! So I decided there's an upside to having had a C section.