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Original poster

Thankful for having the strength to have a natural birth - does this make you feel anything?

326 replies

TuscanMum · 10/03/2018 16:18

The lady in question was saying that she was thankful to God for having the strength to have a natural birth, but that’s not really why I’m asking.

A lady on instagram posted this.

It’s annoyed me because, having had two c sections, the implication is that I must be weak. I know her post was nothing to do with me, she doesn’t know me, but I can’t really explain why it’s irked me. I probably need to get out more!

I believe all women should be congratulated, however they give birth.

Tell me to pipe down and I’ll shuffle along😳

Is this irritating or is it me?

OP posts:
Raspberry88 · 10/03/2018 18:23

I've had the 'bet you're glad you didn't have to go through the pain' comment about my emcs...yeah, great, apart from the hours of labour I went through before they decided that DS wasn't going to make it out! I was lucky in that my pain wasn't completely unbearable and had wanted to do it without, but bloody hell, that spinal when I got it...beautiful! Definately want to have an elective for any other babies (fingers crossed)...and will just feel 'thankful' that I live in a time and a country where I can have such incredible help!

Jaygee61 · 10/03/2018 18:23

I don’t think it matters how baby arrives, women should feel proud that our bodies can grow these little miracles!

Not every woman’s body can. Should those who cannot feel ashamed?

Jaunty · 10/03/2018 18:31

Oh god. This woman's sense of achievement doesn't mean you've failed. Her feelings are about her, not you. Why does everyone take everything so personally? She can feel proud and blessed and praise god for her strength if that's what she wants to do.

I had a hard first labour that lasted an eternity and I had all the drugs. I felt proud of myself after the birth (as well as grateful that my dd was ok). My second birth was a drug free water birth, and I delivered a big baby. I was proud that time as well. If I want to feel proud then that's my call. Im not going to stop having those feelings just because a bunch of harpies on here feel insecure by my sense of achievement.

LadyLaSnack · 10/03/2018 18:32

I had an Emergency section after a long failed induction, and they accidentally pierced the wrong membrane in my spine when they gave me the epidural for the section. This led to a dural headache for 48 hours after the birth (until they patched it), which was infinitely more painful and awful than the long induced labour. I’m now pregnant again and am worried already. The first section makes a second more likely, but I don’t want them going anywhere near my spine with a needle, it was so horrendous the first time.

What she says makes me feel sad and misunderstood. I never considered my first birth going the way it did. All the images in my head were of me pushing and panting out a baby.

I guess I feel that she is lucky and privileged to get to feel ‘proud’ of her body for her natural and whilst I imagine there really is a sense of unity between mind and body working together to the end goal during a natural birth, which might bring with it a sense of empowerment and elation, speaking from the other side of the fence it’s a bit of a kick in the teeth to hear this sort of sentiment on top of all the other emotions I have about my ‘unnatural’ birth.

Not as sad though, as when two close friends started telling me all about the fact that when you have a natural birth you lose all sense of shame from all the people rummaging at your vag all day. The implication was that I was a somehow a prude for not having had this experience. I remember feeling completely out of the gang despite the fact that there was a fair amount of vag rummaging involved in the 48 hour induction (not to mention rummaging with a crochet hook to burst my waters). And then there was the colposcopy I had 5 years ago and all the biopsies leading up to it. Not to mention all the smears I’ve had throughout my life...!!

It’s all a bit divisive.

A1Sharon · 10/03/2018 18:34

TBH someone who feels the need to post this shite on the internet (her, not you) is clearly a bell end anyway, so I wouldn't give them a second thought.

Sockunicorn · 10/03/2018 18:46

I've had one natural and one emergency c section. Would prefer the natural route any day of the week - much easier! C section was horrendous and then took much longer to recover

Pointlessfacts · 10/03/2018 18:52

I couldn't care less how I give birth as long as its in the least painful way possible.

Take the child out of my ass if it means it lessens the trauma & pain!!

I don't give two hoots

DarthArts · 10/03/2018 18:57

Well I was screaming for an epidural but told it was too late.

Did I get strength through circumstance? Hmm I certainly don't feel like I get any brownie points for having a "natural" birth - it's not what was in my birth plan 🤣 that's for sure (does anyone actually get a birth that goes exactly to their plan?) it's just what happened.

Birth is pretty shit imho and I think most women are happy to get through it with a healthy baby and as unscathed as possible - with whatever level of medical intervention is required/requested/needed.

Helmetbymidnight · 10/03/2018 18:58

thankful to God for having the strength to have a natural birth,

Bleurgh.

She thinks God gave her strength to have a natural birth? She's stupid and insensitive. But not unusual.

carryondoctor · 10/03/2018 19:00

She's an idiot.

The only thing that that matters is that you and your DC are here safe and sound. How they got here is irrelevant.

MrsWhirly · 10/03/2018 19:01

I felt proud and elated after both my natural births - but not because they were natural. That didn’t even enter my head to be honest. If I needed it, I was prepared to have ANYTHINGGrin

Honeybooboo123 · 10/03/2018 19:01

I do remember thinking that a woman was a bit weird for saying her biggest achievement was giving birth without pain relief. It's not a sodding competition, you don't get a medal. No one would say well done if you did that during a root canal. That was after I had had my first with gas and air.
Since had a second with no pain relief (not my choice BTW) and still feel the same. Not my biggest accomplishment.
I suppose I do have the pleasure in knowing that if I had given birth in the middle of the dark ages, I would have been able to do it without medical intervention... but that's not exactly of much use is it?

MrsWhirly · 10/03/2018 19:03

I must add that I wouldn’t be offered by that comment tbh. Everyone is can celebrate how they wish can’t they? I don’t think it’s insensitive either.

noeffingidea · 10/03/2018 19:07

I had 3 natural deliveries. The second and third were were actually a piece of cake, the babies practically fell out and I was able to get up and dressed after an hour.
That was nothing to do with 'strength' (or God), I'm just very lucky that my pelvis is shaped the way it is and my uterus is very efficient at contracting.Nor does it make me any 'more of a woman' than any other woman, how ridiculous. It's not a competition.
I was a bit euphoric after my births but I kept it to myself, I would never have wanted inadvertantly make another woman feel bad. Social media didn't exist then and I'm not on it now. I don't get the point about posting all this personal stuff on the internet.
Somebody asked about epidurals. I only had the option with my first (others were too quick/homebirth) but I refused one. I didn't want needles in my spine, plus I wanted to be able to be able to get up as soon as possible and move around after the birth.

SleightOfMind · 10/03/2018 19:07

I like a good old birth chat and my youngest are now 5.

No time for the weird hierarchy of natural/drug free/CS etc. It’s all just how your babies got here. I like to hear the stories though.

user1487194234 · 10/03/2018 19:07

I often think that if men had the babies there would not be all thiscompetitive angst.
My 2 dc were born by CS. A school mum said to me she would have felt cheated to have the baby without the "birth experience"
I thought of saying it is not as bad as having the "birth experience" without the baby as I did with my stillborn child (which she was aware of)

headintheproverbial · 10/03/2018 19:16

The reason I had two c sections is because of a medical condition meaning my pregnancies were harder work and more stressful than anyone else who is 'normal' could possibly imagine. So, yes, the comment would irk me since how the last 24 hours or so of a 40 week pregnancy is about as irrelevant as the colour of your curtains.

Sprinklesinmyelbow · 10/03/2018 19:27

I wish you’d said that user. I don’t understand people like that. Maybe it’s niavity? What’s the point in many of us beating ourselves up? If my baby hadn’t been delivered quickly she could be dead. Would I rather hold on to feel the accomplishment of pushing out a dead baby? I mean the idea is just bizarre.

PollyCotton · 10/03/2018 19:34

I wouldn't say I feel "proud" exactly, more awestruck that my body was capable of that. The same way that it blows my mind when I start thinking about how the eye works, or the ear or pretty much any part of my body. There's so many different aspects that all have to work together just for someone's body to function "normally" every day - biology is amazing! I spend most of my time feeling quite weak & feeble compared to other people, it amazes me that my body has managed to grow & expel 3 people & isn't completely broken by it!

dementedma · 10/03/2018 20:05

lady i had a dural headache after my section CS and it was truly horrendous. I also had to have a patch and then acupuncture. the headache was the worst pain I have ever experienced.

oppsthereshegoes · 10/03/2018 20:14

I felt very proud I had ds with nothing. No gas and air, not even a sodding paracetamol. I'm pretty useless at everything I've ever tried so I'm going to take the chance to feel proud of myself for once!

I wouldn't tell anyone though, certainly wouldn't post it on social media.

oppsthereshegoes · 10/03/2018 20:15

@thenewaveragebear1983 that's what people mean when they say natural birth over here.

Efrig · 10/03/2018 20:20

I don’t like all this smug ‘thanking God’ business. What about all the women in developing countries who die in childbirth, or their babies die or they suffer horrendous birth injuries?

Regardless of how we birth our children, we’re lucky that, for the most part, we’re able to experience safe deliveries. That’s not down to any god.

Isadora666 · 10/03/2018 20:24

It doesn't take any merit or worth to get pregnant and give birth to a healthy baby, it's just luck.

Jassmells · 10/03/2018 20:29

Don't know why people feel the need to say this. I didn't. In fact I was begging for a caesarean and still wish I'd had one in many ways. Same as people who say things like #keeponboobin #breastfeedingandproud when they are breast feeding. Just shut the fuck up!