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Original poster

Thankful for having the strength to have a natural birth - does this make you feel anything?

326 replies

TuscanMum · 10/03/2018 16:18

The lady in question was saying that she was thankful to God for having the strength to have a natural birth, but that’s not really why I’m asking.

A lady on instagram posted this.

It’s annoyed me because, having had two c sections, the implication is that I must be weak. I know her post was nothing to do with me, she doesn’t know me, but I can’t really explain why it’s irked me. I probably need to get out more!

I believe all women should be congratulated, however they give birth.

Tell me to pipe down and I’ll shuffle along😳

Is this irritating or is it me?

OP posts:
MuddyForestWalks · 11/03/2018 18:12

You don't have to 'give a toss' at all (charming Hmm ) - I was just participating in a discussion, I didn't expect to rock anyone's world with my revelations.

Bear2014 · 11/03/2018 19:09

Meh, people can be proud, but those who 'had the strength' are often just lucky.

My DD was oblique transverse with her head literally jammed up in my armpit so I had to have a fairly complicated CS. I also had to be admitted to the antenatal ward for 2 weeks while I waited for the privilege, where comfort/sleep were nigh on impossible. That took a fair amount of strength too.

Pengggwn · 11/03/2018 19:19

Meh, people can be proud, but those who 'had the strength' are often just lucky

I agree with that. It's important that we don't mix up two issues, though. I am not proud of giving birth vaginally - that was only ever going to be possible, or impossible. If I had needed a c-section, the alternative to having one wasn't 'be stronger', it was 'dead mum and baby'.

I was just proud because of how hard I worked to do it.

Morphene · 11/03/2018 19:50

isn't it a little theologically unsound to thank god for help giving birth when it was god that cursed women to bring forth offspring in pain in the first place (possibly as a punishment for the apple business)?

Efrig · 11/03/2018 22:19

When it comes to theological thinking, it’s all unsound really.

cheeseandbiscuitsplease · 11/03/2018 22:34

Well my 2 beautiful children wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t had c sections.
I find it crazy some people think a woman is “stronger” for having a natural birth??
It’s nothing to do with strength, it was due to medical complications that I had my c sections.
How utterly ridiculous to suggest I’m not a strong woman.

Dandellion · 11/03/2018 22:39

Pushing a baby out through your fanjo is such hard work and incredibly painful. Try taking care of a newborn, when you have just had major, invasive abdominal surgery.

Dandellion · 11/03/2018 22:43

And thanks to only ever having had a C-section, there's still plenty of strength left in my pelvic floor [smug]

LouHotel · 11/03/2018 23:09

There's alot of negativity by women to women on this thread.

There is nothing wrong with being proud of an accomplishment. I am proud of my childbirth experiences, being so doesnt discredit someone elses.

Celticlassie · 11/03/2018 23:19

It had never occurred to me to feel bad about myself because of my c section until this thread. So thanks for that.

Pengggwn · 12/03/2018 05:40

When your response to other women is 'Well, at least I don't have a saggy blah blah blah', you are doing your sex a serious disservice. Well done. Slow clap.

Helmetbymidnight · 12/03/2018 06:25

I find it crazy some people think a woman is “stronger” for having a natural birth??
It’s nothing to do with strength, it was due to medical complications that I had my c sections.
How utterly ridiculous to suggest I’m not a strong woman.

Rest assured, most normal people don't have this view.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 12/03/2018 06:26

Ah leave her be . All births are hard work , you don’t know her back story . She is just grateful .

Helmetbymidnight · 12/03/2018 06:30

If she's grateful for having a vaginal birth, why didn't she just say that?

Pengggwn · 12/03/2018 06:33

Helmetbymidnight

Isn't that what people mean when they say 'blessed'?

doze931 · 12/03/2018 06:43

One natural birth and one emergency section here. Doesnt make me feel one bit different on how they entered the world. They both made it safely so thats what matters

booboobutt · 12/03/2018 06:50

My sister had a c-section and she is without doubt the strongest woman I know. It's just pot luck. Her baby was stuck, mine weren't.

youngnomore · 12/03/2018 07:03

Was a birthing partner for my sister in law for the last 24 hours. She was hoping for a natural birth. She really Fought hard for one with her body and mind but it was just not meant to be. She was advised on a c section. Very proud of her.

Pengggwn · 12/03/2018 07:08

youngnomore

And she should be proud of herself. A c-section is firstly nothing to be ashamed of, and secondly beyond anyone's control. It's more of a miracle than a disaster, given how many maternal and infant mortalities used to result from situations where c-sections can now result in healthy babies. Why wouldn't she feel proud?

crookedhooker · 12/03/2018 07:40

I still remember going back to work and being told by a colleague I didn't know what labour was really like ad id had a section.

Section came 28 hours after start of back to back labour where baby was pressing down on the pins and rods that hold my spine together and dural ecstasia and ended in crash section under general when both our hearts started failing not quite the easy time she made out.

She still insisted it had been the easy way out.

Dandellion · 12/03/2018 08:42

Pengwynn if you have the slow clap, don't worry, a short course of penicillin will see you right.

Pengggwn · 12/03/2018 08:43

Dandellion

What an odd comment.

TammyWhyNot · 12/03/2018 08:44

I wonder if all this talk of strength, congratulation and achievement isn’t part of the problem.

Think of a Saturday, every packed huge stadium around the world, sport, concerts, events, all those people, each and every one birthed (one way or another) by a woman.

The birth of each human is a wondrous thing. But really, giving birth is a normal thing to do, in the scheme of things. Ordinary, if you like. It takes some support, from moral to extreme medical intervention, but in the end it is just a process we go through to get a baby. Congratulations, intimations of heroism etc just turn it into something to be competitive about.

Congratulations are about having a baby. The process is what it is, for each woman, and we have little influence over that.

Morphene · 12/03/2018 14:54

efrig well yes of course...but there is inconsistent with evidence and then there is internally inconsistent.

I wince every time I hear people thank god for basically anything. I find it impossible not to think of the people of faith listening who weren't so lucky wondering why god didn;t help them.

It seems much more clear cut to say 'I was lucky and I understand that others aren't so lucky' than to say 'I'm grateful god chose to intervene on my behalf and not yours'.

Come to think of it, I'd have a lot more truck with someone saying 'actually I'm annoyed god doesn't help out more women by providing empowering labours - its time god got over that whole Eden thing''.

Swissgemma · 12/03/2018 14:58

I'm thankful I had the strength to have an emergency c section, blood transfusion and the recover from pretty hardcore surgery while looking after a newborn and establishing breast feeding. God has nothing to do with it. And I don't consider it strength or weakness either way... other than me or DS die there wasn't really a choice!