Comments on being an "older" mum

[Moominfan]

It's news to me that at 30 I'm considered an older mum. Would love to have started younger but I was giant 20 something selfish mess. Got house plants they survived, partner and a dog. Generally got my shit together late 20s. Would love a second but nows not the time. Due to finish a degree and want to do a masters that will mean I no longer have to do low paid jobs. At baby group someone commented they don't want to be in their 40s going to school picks ups they couldn't think of anything worse. Can't see myself having another for a few years taking me to mid 30s for next one. Is it really that old? I could squeeze another in now and start a masters next year but I'm selfish and I'm enjoying getting my life and relationship on track with just one child in tow. They sleep through and I never struggle with a baby sitter. To have a second I'd be spreading myself thinly and I don't think I'd enjoy motherhood that much. Anyway just ranting more than anything. Any "older" mum's put their two pence in?

I'm definitely one of the younger mums on the school run, I'm in my early-ish 30s. There's some mums in their late 20s and some in their mid to late 40s, most I'd say are 35-40, who cares.
There's some judgement to people who have children later in life, some snobbishness to people who have their children young. I have never encountered this in real life most people are just generally getting on with their lives.

Oh fucking hell! I was a young mum at 19, young Mum at 25, now I’m an old mum at 31!

Can’t even slightly be arsed caring anymore

I'd say you are pretty normal.

All that matters is happy and contented children, no matter what your age.

In my area most seem to be late 30s to early 40s. But that's a London thing I think. People often settle down later here. Me included.

Oh my. I'm ancient then! My DC is in year 1 and I'm nearly 48. Many of my friends around here who have the same age kids are around 40, but there are several who are even older than me.

I was 39 when I had DD, back then I think it was considered old, if anyone commented I took pretend offense and said clearly having children had aged me prematurely... Never repeated!

I am 30 myself and had my four kids and was sterilised by 29. I wouldn't say 30 was an older mum but it is older than average for a first baby, compared to most other mums I know from my area.

You'd be normal in our area. Depends on demographic I say.

I'm mid 20s with a few children and stick out like a sore thumb here.

But we're all different aren't we. There's so many things to consider when we have children that are so unique to anybody's circumstances.

I had DD2 at 40 and DS2 at 44. I don't think you're an older mum.

I'm 41 and some of my school friends are only just having their first babies now so I'd say 30 is most definitely not an 'older mum'.

Ive just had my second and am 30, shop assistant referred to me as a "young mum" yesterday, i was thrilled!

I think late 20s/early 30s is pretty average for first baby tbh... when we had interviews to cover my maternity leave most of the candidates assumed i was having my first baby, all.seemed surprised i was having my second!

We haven't had a quiet year though since i finished university-
aged 25: first proper job, moved in with partner, got engaged.
Aged 26: bought a house
Aged 27: got married
Aged 28: DS1 was born
Aged 29: got pregnant with DS2 (who is now 9 weeks old!)

Amongst my friends that's pretty standard, although lots are waiting to have kids until they've bought a house, which is easier said than done depending on where you live!

Fwiw my mum was a teenage mother and told me i was "far too young" when i told her i was pregnant!

IfNot natural conception, but I had four miscarriages before I had DD at 46. I fell pregnant unexpectedly at 44 (we got a bit relaxed about contraception as we thought we were past it!). We were devasted when I had a MC and I had some fertility testing before we decided to TTC. My AMH level was high for someone my age, so I knew ovarian reserve was good. Unfortunately egg quality may not be so good at that age and I had several more losses. We were told chance of MC at 44/45 was 50% and we had decided to give up when I found out I was pregnant with DD! The pregnancy was straight forward and she's perfect, we are very lucky.

All of my early 40s contempories trying to have babies are undergoing Ivf, hence the question.

I fell pregnant the first month of trying with DS, I was 41, he was my third. About 4 years ago we met up with some uni friends, one had got married in her 40s and had a little girl who she thought would be her only child. She now has 3 DC. I know lots of people who have had kids in their 40s, all natural. I know more in their 30s who had IVF. The numbér of women having children in their 40s is going up but in the 1930s twice as many women had children in their 40s than do now and there was no IVF.

Natural conception at 44 here. Took longer to fall than in my 20s though.

I’m 50 this year and have an 8 year old and a 10 year old at junior school.

I’m probably one of the oldest at the school gates, and there’s a woman who’s easily 51/52 (my partner knows her) with twins in my youngest’s class. Mind you her husband is much younger than her, probably in his early 40s.
There’s a couple of women with 8 year olds who are clearly closer to 60 but their child calls them Mum not Nan, so I assume they’re just foster parents.

So I’ll be in my 50s at the school gates for another couple of years

The parents of my kids school friends are all easily in their late 30s and early 40s, so most of them are going to be at the school gates still into their 40s.

Thanks! Oh, I know it was common to have babies in your 40s back in the day- several of my female relatives did long before Ivf.
Consequently I had sort of assumed I would be able to get pregnant until at least 45, but sadly my ovaries had other ideas Nice to hear happy stories though.

IfNot I was unexpectedly pregnant age 46. So anything can happen. Although sadly only lasted several weeks gestation.

It's news to me that 30 is considered an older mum! I would consider an older mum to be 40+.

Even when I was in school the only people I'd consider to have older mums were those who'd been born when they were in their 40s (so they then would have been in their 50s when I knew them).

Thinking back to a few years ago, one of my mum's friends had her 2 kids in her late 30s and I didn't consider her an older mum.

I think it's a mixture of what generation you're from and the area you live in that reflects how you view it.

It really depends on the demographics of the area that you live in and the people that you are friends with. I am a highly skilled professional. I had DS1 at 34 and DS2 at 37. Most of my colleagues and friends were similar ages when they had their children. Some were in their 40s. 30 is not old at all.

30 definitely isn't an old mum. You don't want to interrupt your life either, do your masters then have another. It's 1-2 years max, it's nothing really.

You have your family to suit you. We had 1st ds when I was 26, 2nd ds when I was 36 and dd when I was 41. Absolutely the right choice for us. Although when I went for ante natal check up at around 10 weeks (ish) they put me under a consultant who wrote in massive black permanent marker "iol @40 wks due to maternal age" then the cheeky mare highlighted in in yellow highlighter!! I asked her, (laughing and joking) if she wanted a smack I the gob, love!

Don’t worry about other people’s comments
or thoughts, I know it sounds simple but I had my first baby st 19 - too young - tut tut!! Then my last at 43 - too old- tut tut!! I have six beautiful children altogether and may well have been too old, too young, too close to divorce, too busy at work, too .... whatever but I had my babies, I look after my family always have always will. Life isn’t ever at its optimum peak regardless of age or circumstance.

I read somewhere that 30 is average for the UK. I was 30 when I had my first, celebrated my 30th at 12 weeks pregnant. Still doing school run at 43 with DS2, only 18 months til secondary school and I’m done with it!

My MIL was 44 when she had a surprise 5th, 18 years between oldest and youngest, that’s and older mum IMO.

We have children when nature/life intends it, just enjoy!

In my NCT group I’m the youngest mum out of ten (I’m having my first at 33). We’re in London. So you’re very normal for London, don’t worry!