Comments on being an "older" mum

[Moominfan]

It's news to me that at 30 I'm considered an older mum. Would love to have started younger but I was giant 20 something selfish mess. Got house plants they survived, partner and a dog. Generally got my shit together late 20s. Would love a second but nows not the time. Due to finish a degree and want to do a masters that will mean I no longer have to do low paid jobs. At baby group someone commented they don't want to be in their 40s going to school picks ups they couldn't think of anything worse. Can't see myself having another for a few years taking me to mid 30s for next one. Is it really that old? I could squeeze another in now and start a masters next year but I'm selfish and I'm enjoying getting my life and relationship on track with just one child in tow. They sleep through and I never struggle with a baby sitter. To have a second I'd be spreading myself thinly and I don't think I'd enjoy motherhood that much. Anyway just ranting more than anything. Any "older" mum's put their two pence in?

I'm 41 and just had my 3d son, but had my 2 first sons at 21 and 23, i was a young mum now i'm am older mum, it's not my fault i tried years ago but had 4 early miscarriages, never mind i don't mind doing the school run again

Im 29 ans mum to 4. My oldest DD is very proud to have the youngest mum as she is 11. However i done everything backward kids marraige currently in college doing degree. Youngest 2 are a year old and 2 years old so might b different when they are older.

Back in the 70s I was down in my notes as an 'elderly' primigravida - I was 28!
To be fair I was easily the oldest on the maternity ward, but that was then. Decades ago.

30 is nothing nowadays! My dd had no.1 at 38, and no. 2 at 39. Many of her friends are similar, ditto masses of others.
Ignore these daft comments. They're not worth a moment's concern.

Stats show more women over are having babies than women of 20 these days:

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.bbc.com/news/amp/health-36782323

Wow. I was pregnant at 34 and 38. First time the midwives told me frequently how young and healthy and low risk I was. Didn’t get the same flattery the second time but certainly never called old

I had my kids at 21,22 and 23- I was told at the time by my midwife I was in my peak and once I was over 25 I’d be an older mum!

I’m 32 now and planning my fourth (also finishing up my degree). I see all sorts of mum ages on the school run, but I am very much one of the youngest for my kids classes. Having said that, I won’t be this time round and a lot of my friends have no intention of starting for a good few years.

I think it’s just different lifestyles and demographics.

I had my first DD at 27 and my second DD at 36, I'm now 47 and doing the school run and don't feel out of place at all

I had my three children in my late 20s and I can't say I particularly enjoyed it because they were close in age and it was really hard work. I have just had my fourth at 42 and touch wood I'm enjoying it a whole lot more this time around. People, in general, have been lovely.

I had my first baby at 39, my second at 41 and my third at 44! Yes I am an older Mum, my husband is 8 years older than me and we live life to the full. Having one child wasn't an option as we decide it would be unfair and selfish when we reached our senior years leaving one very lonely family member so having three is a great balance. I am also lucky enough to be a stay at home Mum and full time taxi driver to all our children's after school activities. My initial concerns went out the window when I found LOTS of mothers around my age once I got out and about. Having and keeping good health is top of the list for me. I have met so many young Mums that have no energy and struggle to keep up with their children. We go bike riding and tramping and do everything that younger parents do, it makes no difference to us at all and we love it.

I was 50 when my youngest (of 3) finished primary school. I was pretty typical of his classmates' parents. Some older, some younger, but not a massive disparity in ages. I think pp's are right - depends on the demographics of the school/area.

I had my two at 39 and 42. I'm doing the school run in my 50s and I love it. Wouldn't change a thing.

I had my oldest at 21 and felt like I was constantly looked down on. Mainly because all the 'clique' at playgroup were not only older than me but they also had older kids in school so all knew each other already (and they weren't going to let anyone else into their circle!)
I had my youngest at 26 and this time round there were more parents around the same age as me and I felt more accepted as a Mum.

Personally I don't think 30+ is too old to have a baby if that is what someone chooses to do.
However, for me now at 32 I can safely say that it's not something I will be doing again...I like my sleep too much

36 with my first and 38 with my second due to being in a second marriage and having fertility problems.
Now I'm 51 and kids are teens, I have friends the same age who are grandparents, some who are parents like me.
We all seem happy doing our own thing.

I wanted to be finished having children at 35. Due to complications, we had ds at 35 and dd 38. 21 months apart (1year and 9 mos. We decided to try when ds was 2 year bc of all previous trouble and bingo! First month.)

Retirement and university is piling close together. I was a better parent bc i was older but physically, some women have trouble as they age..

Life is unpredictable. Best laid plans....etc. do what you feel is right. I think that child rearing is difficult but rewarding.
I'm still in difficult years with dd(she was severely injured in two car accidents in two weeks that weren't her fault) and being hit hard with money troubles bc of tuition. You're smart to go to school is my biggest "atta girl" to you bc it will count in the long run. I've cried in frustration bc of my inability to make money. I hate myself many days..

That 40 yo comment was made by someone who was ignorant, and talking out of her hat.

You are not old! Everyone has children at an age that suites them. I’m 40 this year and our dd is just turning 5, I might be classed as one of the older mums on the school run but i’m happy with that! We’ve done all the things we wanted, good jobs nice house , nice luxury holidays in our 20/30’s then we were happy to settle and have a child as it was right for us. Ignore the age comment it means nothing!!!!

I was 33 and 36 when i had my kids. Doctors/midwives treated me as a normal age mum. Large amoung of mums at the school gate in my area are around my age. Dc 1 is now 10 so im 43 certainly not that old. I would class an older mum as 40+ when child is born.

I have done all of them, one at 25, one at 33 and another at 41. I guess I preferred being one of the younger mums at the school and felt more part of it when I was younger but I guess I might distance myself a bit by circumstance. They often have toddlers in common and have play dates after school, whereas we are collecting the middle child and going to after school activities. My youngest two are now 15 and 7. Certainly children in 30's is not old. This felt very average when I had my middle child at 33. I was in a group of mum friends with very similarly aged people.

at our school gates (collecting 5yo) there is one mum who id consider younger (late 20's) everyone else is mid 30's to 50!
It must depend on the area as here its the norm to be over 40 with a toddler!

I am considered an older mom defined only by my actual age and not my mental or physical appearance. I had my first child at 38 my second at 39 and my third at 43.

My daughters are my friends as indicated by the words in their Mothers Day cards. I do not feel old and in my sixties still work full time with people half my age (and younger). I am a season ticket holder at a Championship football team and go on my own. I believe both confidence and wisdom come with age. I have two daughters currently at different universities one in her final year studying Maths and one in her second year studying English (she had an un conditional offer) My point is that my age has not stopped my daughters being the clever, individual, caring people they are. Age is but a number!

You are not an old mum.
Im 40 this year with a 5 & 6 year old...im one of the older mums at school pick up but not the oldest i might add lol.

Yes sometimes i think i wouldnt have been do tired if i had the kids a bit younger - but also wouldnt have had the experiances i have if i had them younger - so it made sense to me to wait a little.

Dont worry about what others say/think. Its not that bad being 40 and dojng a school pick up 😊

I was 21 when I had my eldest daughter and 44 when I had my 20 month old girl.

Kids are bloody exhausting whatever age you have them.

Had my first at 31 and second at 36. I am totally average age at my DDs school (she's in year 8). Many of the other mums are my school year.

Had twins at 30, and my second pregnancy and DD at 36 (nearly 37). Am certainly not the oldest mother, but not the youngest either! And i'd have another in about a year (39/40 by then) if I could, and if DP would agree (he's still in shock over DD and the amount of stuff a small child requires!). There is no general right age for becoming a parent - only the age that fits you and your individual circumstances.

Oh dear. If you're old in your 30's I must be ancient having a baby when I'm 40! I lived and loved my 20's, worked hard in my 30's and then when I had a stable job, relationship and good income, I found I had medical issues and it's taken me a long time to conceive. I was the oldest in the NCT group - but not by much!