Comments on being an "older" mum

[Moominfan]

It's news to me that at 30 I'm considered an older mum. Would love to have started younger but I was giant 20 something selfish mess. Got house plants they survived, partner and a dog. Generally got my shit together late 20s. Would love a second but nows not the time. Due to finish a degree and want to do a masters that will mean I no longer have to do low paid jobs. At baby group someone commented they don't want to be in their 40s going to school picks ups they couldn't think of anything worse. Can't see myself having another for a few years taking me to mid 30s for next one. Is it really that old? I could squeeze another in now and start a masters next year but I'm selfish and I'm enjoying getting my life and relationship on track with just one child in tow. They sleep through and I never struggle with a baby sitter. To have a second I'd be spreading myself thinly and I don't think I'd enjoy motherhood that much. Anyway just ranting more than anything. Any "older" mum's put their two pence in?

Can the person who said that count? The age they got pregnant with their last baby + 12 years = how old they'll be when picking up in year 6 at primary school.

It was just a stupid thing to say. I'd ignore it.

You are not old!

Age range in my NCT was 28-38.

Maternal age seems to bifurcate nowadays. The average (28 or something?) is an arithmetic mean and actually pretty meaningless - because, as a pp said, there are huge differences in different demographics. For one group, it's perfectly normal to have babies at 20 or 21; for the other it's 40 or 41.

FWIW - I don't think 30 is old at all! In any case, please don't worry about it....

Depends where you reside and socioeconomic group you're in
Where I am 30 is unremarkable,and wouldn’t raise comment.in fact it’s the norm
There is a direct correlation between maternal age of 1st pg and educational attainment eg well educated women become mothers in 30s

36 and pregnant with DC2 here. Don't feel old compared to other mums but this pregnancy is definitely tougher than the one I had at 32, I feel very tired indeed.

First and only child at 40. I was always one of the 'older mums' at the schoolgate by a good decade but actually I had no problems.
The biggest obstacle I've had (if I can call it that) is our close friend circle are 10/15 years ahead of us as far as their kids' ages so that affected our social life a bit.
We have by far the youngest child of any of them (three of them are new grandparents and are only three years older than us).

I had my first at 36 and my last at 42. i don't feel at all like an older mum. At their primary school, there are definitely 2 distinct age groups. Roughly half i would say were in late twenties ( so babies in early to mid 20's) and the rest are roughly my age. It's definitely a socio eco split 9 mostly)

Thank you for all the comments. Yes it is a very working class area so it's easy to feel on the older side. Never gave it alot of thought but the comment triggered me. I would definitely like another and love to see mine with a close in age sibling but it's just really not feasible. Can't afford another and it just really isn't the right time for us were lucky to have the one in all honesty if you were to look at our finances.

Thinkimg about it, I was talking to one of the school mums (City lawyer turned SAHM) last week and worked out that she must have had her first DS at 31. Which struck me as quite young!

Depends where you live.

I live just outside of London and was a first time mum at 42, second baby at 43. Nothing unusual about it at all in my area. Now have a 16 month old and a 2yr 10 month old and regularly go to baby/toddler groups etc and I would say all the mums are 35+ with a far few late 30's early 40's.

Wtf? Which part of the UK are you in OP?

I'm in central London and have many girlfriend in their late 30s and early 40s having first babies now.

I'm 29 with 1 newborn and I'm considered young 'round these parts!!

I'm 32 and just starting TTC and I still feel a bit young (my mum was the same age when she had me and said the same thing!). It's entirely a personal thing, I think; I didn't want to spend my 20s as a parent as I had a lot of plans for travel, career, etc. that would have stalled, and getting pregnant would have been a disaster (not least because the men I had relationships with in my early 20s were a) not father material and b) mostly twats, as well as the fact I lived in small flats and had no money!) but other people will have different approaches. What is rude, though, is people passing comment on things or calling you an 'older parent' when you blatantly aren't. Among my peers, having children in your 30s seems to be the norm. Most of my friend group are only starting to have families now.

amongst my eldest daughter's school friends I'm considered shockingly young - dh & I were 25 when she was born. It's a very affluent area.

My other three dc were born when we were in our 30s, a much more respectable age though still younger than most of her friends parents were when they had children.

My sister was born when my mum was 42 and all her friends were born to parents in their 40s ... which is probably why they are all proper rich!

I'm in the north west btw

Where I live - affluent area, there was nothing remarkable about my age when I picked up the dc from primary school. I fitted right in

Had dd at 34 and ds at 36

Definitely area dependent! I live in an area of very high teen pregnancy rates, having moved from an area where it was almost unheard of. Where I'm from I'm on the younger side having had DC1 in my early 30's. Where I live I think they view me as a bit decrepit at baby groups once they find out my age

I was 29 and second youngest in my antenatal, average age was mid 30s. Depends on your area. 30 definitely not old!

You're really not an older mum. Different strokes etc.

30?! That would be considered really young in my area! . Seriously, nearly every single person in my wider social group only started having children in their early 30's, and a good half have had them/are having them in their late 30's/early 40's.

OP - 1.30 on this clip - it's all relative.....

33 is about average in our area though we did have one 36 year old lady who picked up her 3 year old grandson from Nursery.

Have a look at the average mum at the most expensive prep school in your area. If you are only mid 30s you’s be the youngest by a mile.

I had my first at 30 and my second at 35. I am definitely still a young mum at DC1's school! We wanted two close together, but it didn't happen for us. For what it's worth, OP, it turns out 5 years is a lovely age gap!

I felt nervous going along to my first baby group thinking I'd be the oldest there at 38 but ended up making a little group of friends and am actually the youngest of them! There really was a mix of ages ranging from 19 to 48.

It is all about where you live and the socio-economics of your group. 30 is pretty average nationally.