"Help yourself"

[SheNumpty]

I'm pretty sure I'm not being unreasonable here. My MIL looks after DD one day a week, sometimes more depending on circumstances. She's not particularly well off, and when she comes round I tell her to help herself to anything she wants, snacks, drinks etc. as she was coming round with her own bread for toast and things like that in a bag each time.

She finally stopped bringing her own bread after I'd insisted for weeks on end that she's welcome to use as much of our bread as she likes and cab help herself to what she likes.

Anyway, I came home from work yesterday to find she's eaten half the chocolates I had for valentines day. Yes I know I'm unreasonable to still have some left in March. Thing is, they weren't even open. She opened them. AIBU, or do you just not do that? I wouldn't even take chocolate from an open box, it was obvious they were mine, and for Valentines.

I'm so puzzled by the transition from bringing your own bread, to save using slices of ours, to tucking into an unopened box of someone's chocolates.

So AIBU? I told her to help herself but would you guys take that as literally ANYTHING you find? DH thought it was hilarious, I think he should buy me a new box of chocs.

@LinesInTheSand thank you very much.

@Chunkymonkey123 Thank you very much too. Having my fingers crossed for so long makes it flipping hard to type sometimes.

OP, you really do genuinely sound fab.

Parts of this thread are like the muppet show

YABsooooU!!! You get FREE childcare and you’re upset and angry about this?! Poor MIL.

@SunnySkiesSleepsintheMorning Haha! I know, can't believe I even asked.

OP, you are clearly not only being unreasonable but also ungrateful for getting so annoyed about your poor MIL, who helps you with free childcare, for eating a wrapped and unopened Valentine's box of chocolates that you obviously didn't want, after you had insisted she could help yourself to food.

This thread is hilarious. All of you shouting 'but you told her to help herself!' Are you always so literal? is that what you would really do?! I find that very had to believe.

As a PP said, 'help yourself' does not mean a) cook a three course meal, b) finish all the milk/bread/tea or in the OP c) open a gift!

crossed posts SunnySkiesSleepsintheMorning

@IamAporcupine both equally appreciated!

Many many moons ago I had a babysitter for my DC and had bought myself a lovely cake to eat for after I had done parents night. Yes she had eaten it! I still haven’t forgotten but see her regularly with her own kids who now drive her mad so karma I guess 😂

This thread is bonkers. All the people who insist you kept the chocolates in the fridge and don't pay for childcare... maybe mumsnet should introduce a reading comprehension test before you're allowed to post

Of course it's weird to open a new box of chocolates! And anyone who claims to think this would be included in a general "help yourself" is just being silly.

You might have been planning to give them to a friend for all she knew! I had a friend who used to eat anything yummy that was lying around and I'd have to point out that it wasn't necessarily mine to share but belonged to other members of the family!

Op you need to do what I do and have a "secret stash drawer"

It's the only way.

Thornton’s chocolates are shite. Whoever gave them to you was U unless they were a small DC!

Your mum probably just really fancied something sweet.

You said help yourself to anything you like. She did, and you're complaining.

I don't get it.

YABVU to still have chocolates 3 weeks after Valentine's Day.

I'd thank her profusely and give the rest of the box to her tbh. Thorntons chocolates are disgusting.

I agree it's weird but it sounds like she has slightly odd ideas. The bringing your own bread is also a little weird. If you come to babysit dgc it's normal that you would be given some food. It's like she doesn't quite understand normal conventions.
I also think your Dh should buy you a replacement box and make sure you hide them well.

I think it’s actually very rude to open what so clearly a gift, still in the gift bag.

I take ‘help yourself’ to eating whatever’s open already. I’d also ask if I wanted to eat anything beyond tea, milk, bread and biscuits and meals eaten during the day with the children.

I refuse to believe anyone on here would really go into a gift bag and help themselves to the contents. That’s just really really odd and rude.

This thread is bonkers fridge chocolates free childcare & your mum all getting dragged in 😂.

YADNBU to expect gift bagged, still sealed & saved chocolates are off limits even if you say help yourself. Anyone who says otherwise is bloody rude!!

All the best with your chemo OP

@MarkBorrigan @Houseworkavoider thank you both.

This thread is so weird!

OP yanbu to be slightly bemused at your MIL going from one extreme to the other. I would also think it weird for someone to open an obvious gift.

I hope your chemo is going well.

@woundedbutwalking @DextroDependant Thank you as well. Hopefully get myself some celebration chocolates next week - I'll obviously have to save them until my treatment is over and I can taste then properly again. I'll stick them under my bed.

So you are getting 60 hours a week free childcare from your aged mum for a small child who can eat her own bodyweight in stolen chocs. Mamma is poor and generally waif like and in dire need of comfort, in rags, you ungrateful wretch. You INSISTED she took a gift from your house, despite her pleading "no no I only want these crumbs of bread wot I ave got in this bag ere" but you said she must take WHATEVER she wanted, and now she has taken the entire contents of the house and you are hysterical with rage? I can only suggest you cancel the cheque.

😂😂😂

I told my MiL to help herself once and she took my new conservatory home in the back of her pick up truck.

Snickering @staples and @lines. YANBU @SheNumpty, I too am bemused. Wishing you all the best with the chemo.