On Sunday afternoon I was attacked by my husband and he threatened to kill me.
On the advise of the police I left my home with my DD who played two foot from us when this happened.
And I haven’t been back. Because he has. And it doesn’t feel fair. The tenancy is in joint names so he can’t be evicted, and he has the legal right to live there. He won’t sign the form to have his name taken off the tenancy so I can move in.
I’m trying to get an occupancy order but a solicitor won’t act until I can prove I’m entitled to Legal Aid, which I can’t as all my benefits letters are at my flat which I’ve been advised not to go back to by the Housing Association and the Police - I don’t work as DD has a few extra needs so claims DLA and CTC which is my entitlement to LA. I’m waiting for Women’s Aid to assign me a Support Worker so I can prove it another way but they’ve told me as I’m not in immediate danger it could take up to 3 weeks. The housing association have no legal obligation to house DD and I while my name is on that tenancy, and if I sign my name off the tenancy they can place me anywhere in the county which takes me away from my mum and brother (I’m living there atm) who are my biggest support at the moment.
I feel like I’ve lost. He gets to break the law, and still wins. I can’t go out on my own because I’m so scared, I tried to get to DDs Nursery alone yesterday morning and got a quarter of the way and had to call them saying I couldn’t get any further. They were lovely and bought the Nursery car and a car seat and took us both to the Nursery but walking back alone I was shaking and it took ages to get home. My mum had to pick DD up from Nursery.
It’s so unfair. I can’t live like this for another month. My DDs got no toys or clothes, and I feel guilty using my mums bread and milk and food when she’s on a low income herself. I just want to go home.
He’s won hasn’t he? I’m up shit creek without a paddle, still liable for a flat I don’t live in and have no money or clothes.
I feel like such a crap mum, I’ve let my DD down, has I ignored the police and stayed home he wouldn’t have been allowed back and then he’d have had to have tried to get me out which with me having DD would have been hard for him to do.
And I’m so worried he’s going to petition the courts for access to our DD, I don’t like her being out of my sight atm but I know he’s her dad and I can’t stop him seeing her (I never would but I just want time to get my head together and have a home)
AIBU?
I’ve lost haven’t I? He’s got what he wanted
CatLadyToddlerMother · 08/03/2018 09:15
Trying not to get angry or cry in front of DD.
He’s going to leave the flat but won’t for another 2 weeks which is roughly what it would take me to get an occupancy order anyway. And when he leaves he’s taking all the furniture, all DDs toys and books (apparently she’ll need them when she visits him) and is taking basically everything but the fixtures and fittings 
.
I’m so disgusted that he’d leave his child with nothing basically
What a horrible man, willing to make his child suffer to get a kick out of being nasty to you. I’m sorry 
I'm home! Occupation Order was issued last night but they couldn't get him out until this morning because it was issued at 9pm and it was unreasonable apparently. So he was evicted at 9am this morning. I've been back in since 2pm, as I wanted to give him chance to be fully gone.
Rung tax credits again before coming back and they've processed a new claim for me, also put in for Income Support who said they'd sort out housing benefit but I do need to ring council about council tax but I'll do that tomorrow.
Flat is a state. Doesn't surprise me. He even managed to make DDs room a mess which upset me the most as he had no reason to go in her room. I've tided her room and the living room, but I need to go get DD from Nursery in a minute so I'll sort the rest over the course of the evening tonight and tomorrow, thankfully DDs eaten at Nursery and will just need a snack (which I'm sure Nursery will give her before she leaves if I explain) as the kitchen is unusable. I have some cash so just going to order from the Indian Takeaway in town which H wouldn't order from as he doesn't like "foreign food" 
. I need a few new bits of furniture as H has taken stuff but he hasn't taken anywhere near what he was threatening to whether that's because I forced him out or not I don't know!
The cat is fine, a bit confused and is playing up but I think once we settle back into a routine she'll be fine. I nicked some dreamies off my mums cats before I left so I'll get her back on side soon 
.
Have spoken to DDs Social Worker who says she can now complete the assessment and make sure that I am still keeping DD safe. Which she is sure I am as she's spoken to my GP, DDs Nursery and my mum who have all said I'm doing everything I can to protect her. Social Worker has told me to tell ExH to take me to court if he wants contact as a judge would expect him to have supervised contact, he is asking to see DD so I will tell him that.
I'm on strong antidepressants and sleeping pills, but I am home and I will have my girl with me in a few minutes. I'm still feeling very anxious and I'm so scared of how I'll cope with DD on my own, but when I feel ready I'm sure I'll get a job and support the two three with cat of us.
Right I'm going to get my girl, she's super excited to see her cat again 
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DD has gone straight to sleep in her bed with the cat also fast asleep on the bottom of her bed. Think they've missed each other
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