School and baby AIBU

[schoolproblem12341]

Hello everyone! Need a bit of advice, not sure if IABU so want to check what other people think before I potentionally put a complaint in at school. Have name changed.

So DC is in reception, quite a sensitive child. They are putting a show on for the reception parents in under two weeks and have only informed us today that younger siblings can not attend. I have a newborn and have informed the school that especially at this short notice there is nothing I can do, DH can't get more time off of work after just being off with the baby when they were first born especially with only under two weeks notice. My DC will be absolutely devastated if I'm the only parent missing, everyone else's parents are coming and I literally don't know what to do. The office have said they will check with the music teacher as that is who it's upto and who decided no younger children can attend but I have a huge feeling it will be a no. I've said the baby can come in a sling so theres no bulky pram and I've told them its actually nap time so the baby will be asleep anyway and that if they wake i will take them out straight away. What are people's thoughts? Thanks

Holy I also have three kids and have been to a million performances. I don't believe no baby or toddler has ever cried or made a noise in yours because they have at ours. It may not have bothered you or your child but it may well have upset the parent and child whose one line in the play was obscured. I realise it makes things difficult for parents with little ones but it is a very short period of time to have a friend walk around with a pram or similar. You can have a phone switched to silent so if needed they can ring you. Plus, there are always plenty of parents who can't make it due to work or other commitments so op would never be the only one missing.

I am so glad our school isn't as officious as this. It's a school play, ffs, not Broadway. You don't need reverent silence, you need supportive parents cheering their children on and whatever policies facilitate this.

Newborns don't tend to cry unless they want feeding. I think it's ridiculous to ask parents not to bring in siblings to such events. They are all part of society. If your child cries just sit near an exit and leave.

I’ve never heard anything so preposterous it is not the Royal Albert Hall! As long as you remove yourself and the child if they make noise then I can’t se a problem. No school I have ever been involved with would take such a stance!

THe problem is of one person brings a sibling then there will be more. And while your baby is young some of the others will be older and therefore noisier and more of a problem. As you have 2 weeks notice there must be someone who could mind the baby for half hr or so which is how long it will be

"The problem is of one person brings a sibling then there will be more. And while your baby is young some of the others will be older and therefore noisier and more of a problem." We had class assembly this morning. There were plenty of young siblings there. It simply wasn't a problem.

We have this rule - (the unwritten understanding is that this rule will just be for noisy preschoolers or people who persistently sit with screaming babies.) If you have a newborn, take it. If your baby cries I’m sure you’ll be sensible enough to stand by the door and pop out if necessary.
You shouldn’t have to miss out completely.
Enjoy the show 😊

I would bring the baby in the sling. Rules that are unreasonable are made to be broken. Virtually every time I've inconvenienced myself by following rules like this, I see 6 other mothers who did as they wished.

I'm a teacher, and I'm also a mum.
Our school doesn't allow under 18's. We do allow for anyone with difficulties with child care to come to dress rehearsal which is much less formal.
I have to say, when we did allow all ages, we had toddlers running up and down the aisle one year. Another year, parents sat the children all in the front row, gave out popcorn and dizzy drinks and didn't supervise them. Another year, no toddlers running around, but crying babies, not taken out of the hall by parents.
It's not about teachers thinking it's the 'Albert Hall' it's about the poor children on stage, plucking up the courage to get up and speak, sing and dance in front of a room full of people. It's terrifying and for most children it may as well be the Albert Hall as it's THAT daunting.
We had to do a blanket ban, our parents weren't reasonable and wouldn't discreetly being a toddler and make sure they're quiet or take them out.
That said, I've also been a mum in the audience of my daughters school with my youngest as a toddler. I brought her a book and (quiet) snacks and drink. Had she made a peep I'd have taken her out. I was grateful that my daughters school didn't have the ban as I too would have been devastated to have her stand up and see no one in the audience.
I feel for you OP, unfortunately, it sounds like others before you have spoilt it for you!
I'd speak to the school, ask if there's a
Dress rehearsal you can watch (much less pressure for these and no audience as such to feel less scary fornthe children).
As much as my school are very strict with it, we would be kind if we could see someone genuinely in a predicament and would try to accommodate in some way so their child didn't feel left out! Is there a parent you're friends with whose child isn't in the performance who youre friends with who could sit with your newborn outside the hall and get you if needed?

Ugh RTFT, people.

Pull the children out of the show!?! That would be immature and unfair on your child. Is there anyone who could babysit? I am surprised all the children will have someone going. Will most of the parents not be working? Sorry if you have already said, but are grandparents local and able to babysit so you can attend?

I did rtft and am glad the OP got a satisfactory answer. There was also a general discussion generated though.

The school is being incredibly precious about a show for reception aged children. The show will not be ruined and children are not trained thespians. It should be an inclusive community event. Even if they have to limit numbers babes in arms are usually exempt.

I think OP should cancel the cheque.

we had this problem at a graduation event the parents of the screaming baby refused to take the child out since why should she have to miss the show and people should have to couple with a screaming baby (its normally the same cheeky sods that take babies to the cinema and don't leave when the scream looking at you entilted twit that did not leave after 20 minutes stright of baby crying in the last jedi the other month she only left after the staff made her)

everyone has a bloody sensitive child
and no they said dont take the baby so dont take the baby if you did and i was there you wouldnt get in

@ihatetosay The school has said OP can take the baby l, rtft

the baby in*

9 pages! When I read the first post I thought 'of course it will be fine to attend with a newborn - just check with the school'. And it was fine. SMUG MODE.

OP they’ve given you two weeks notice, not two hours!

Don’t agree with just turning up. That’s really unfair on the other parents who have followed the rules and could lead to a very embarrassing situation for you.

Taking your child out of school and doing something fun that day is ridiculous. Are you going to be able to shield him from every difficult situation in the future? Also this could make it difficult for the other kids and the teachers really don’t deserve this kind of disrespect.

This isn’t going to be a popular comment but if parents these days actually taught their kids to sit still instead of ‘expressing’ themselves all over the place then these rules wouldn’t be necessary. My girls are grown now but this was never a thing back in the day because little ones were shown how to behave in public.

I’m sure if you try hard enough you’ll find a solution.

I would bring the baby in the sling. Rules that are unreasonable are made to be broken. Virtually every time I've inconvenienced myself by following rules like this, I see 6 other mothers who did as they wished.

This. Just take the baby it’s only a school show. There have always been younger siblings at ours. Yes sometimes they can be noisy but the parents can take them out.

Rtft, @Hudson123 the OP has been told she can go, it's been resolved.

I would understand if this was a visiting performance by the New York philharmonic but it's not... it's a school event put on by school children. I think it's totally unreasonable to ban small children. The vast majority of parents are sensible enough to remove a crying child, and reception kids aren't that likely to care anyway.

Ah rtft now. Good stuff

This is one of the many reasons I'm glad I moved out of the UK to Spain, where children are welcome pretty much everywhere. They aren't considered the nuicence they seem to be in the UK.

What a crap policy. Hardly family friendly. It's a kids play for gods sake, not Macbeth at the Royal Shakespeare!!