Mumsnet Vs Real life.

[KungFuPandaWorksOut16]

Inspired by a comment on an active thread at the moment. The comment was along the lines of
"Only on mumsnet would you be advised this"

I've also seen it on a few threads where posters point out that only mumsnet would you be given this advice and never in real life.

So what advice/tips do you see mentioned on Mumsnet that you just don't think would be said in real life.

I'll start!
You can guarantee a poster will give the advice that OP needs to pack his bags and kick him out, on something really minor. They don't suggest being an adult and have a conversation first, it's straight away pack his bags and show him the door.

What other Mumsnet pearls of wisdom do we have?

Some of this thread has made me laugh out loud. Mine would be

OP ‘how do I cope with terrible pregnancy sickness it’s currently ruining my life?’
MN ‘go to your gp, there are drugs they can prescribe, no one should have to suffer sickness and nausea through pregnancy in this day and age’
GP ‘can you keep water down? Then of course you don’t need a prescription, you’ll feel better after 12 weeks (yea right).Just put up with it until then.

Oh God, Tricky! That skiing holiday!! I remember almost coming to blows on your behalf on that thread. (Clam: Have name-changed).

Sorry, wrong on the gluten.

I have a hormonal condition and I can eat gluten for two weeks as my period is starting every four months. The remainder of the time, if I touch gluten I am seriously ill.

I’ve not seen the card thing but can confirm my mother sees it as an incredible indulgence to let her preschool grandchildren send her cards with grandma on. She’d fit right in here but I rant about her so much I’m not telling her. Incidentally her cure for my sons condition is DAILY avocados, despite telling her it’s no use.

MN once a woman has a child she suddenly understands the meaning of life and all childless women must accommodate her as she is JUST SO BUSY being...a mum?

RL everyone has their own shit to deal with and we're understanding of individual circumstances

Tricky, not just holidays but pretty much paying for anything after 18 is considered a no no on MN. They should be finding jobs and financially contributing otherwise they are doomed. Obviously doesn't work given the amount of SAHMs.

OP: me and my ex have been split two months after a 9 year relationship and he's already seeing someone else. I'm not happy

MN: Are you sure she wasn't the OW?
MN : you obviously didnt mean that much to him if he's moved on so quickly
MN: he's a little boy not a man. Count your lucky stars you're not with him.

RL : ahh that's a bit shit

Op: me and my ex split 2 months ago after a 9 year relationship, he's angry that I'm in a relationship with a man.

MN : what's your sex life to do with him?
MN: tell him to piss off
MN: they say to get over someone you have to get under someone.

RL: ahh that's a bit shit

Oh, let's not forget...

MN: All SAHMs are lazy and feckless scroungers. No, all WOHMs are evil ball grasping bitches who don't love their kids.

RL: You do you...

OP: any trans thread

MN: they're everywhere, they're all dangerous, they coming in your houses, snatching your husband's etc

RL: oh okay

Equally, It's only on MN that I've only ever seen SAHM argue they are only responsible for childcare and that all other jobs should be 50/50 with the WOHP.
Never seen that. I have, however, seen the sahm doing all the jobs during the day and thinking that anything necessary after dh is home (dinner clearance, kids to bed, HW, etc) should be 50/50. Then getting roasted for expecting dh to work a full day then take 50/50 responsibility when they're both at home. (When in RL he's spending most of this time on the computer or watching TV. That's okay though, he needs to relax after his day at work.)

AlmostDoneWithThis, what a great source of supportive sanity you were on that skiing thread, for which I was most grateful! As well as the infantilising there was DS2 being called a "near paedophile' because his then girlfriend was 23 and he was 41.

No, areyousure, I have definitely seen that multiple times. Childcare is the SAHM’s job and everything else is 50/50. I know this as I am a SAHM and have bought those threads up multiple times with DH as a suggestion. One always greeted with laughter and ‘You want to Mumsnet and watch Jeremy Kyle instead of doing the hoovering you lazy cow’. Which is fair enough. Because it’s true. I really cannot understand where these gullible husband’s that actually agree to that come from.

elron maybe I just don't catch those ones because I'd think it was a load of BS anyway

Elron? Elton!

Hovering over public toilets. Or even toilets in friends' bathrooms. To be fair, I wouldn't know if people in real life do that so maybe there really is a national epidemic of terrified women waving their bums over toilet seats as if they are radioactive.

Inevitably, those threads bring up a chorus of terrified, bum waving Mumsnetters who insist that they could not possibly place their posteriors onto a toilet seat. I don't know how these people have been toilet training their kids, but please let me reassure you that no person who knows how to use a lavatory puts their actual urethra or anus on the seat itself. It's only the backs of your thighs that should be in contact with it.

Ironically, you people are almost certainly the ones who leave urine and toilet paper all over the floor and do actually make the place a literal pisshole. For the love of God, just sit down like a normal bloody person.

For full irony points, Mumsnet is also full of women who insist that toilet brushes are revolting but putting your hands down a shitty toilet to wipe away the smears is not.

Hovering over public toilets. Or even toilets in friends' bathrooms. To be fair, I wouldn't know if people in real life do that so maybe there really is a national epidemic

You would know. We have a phantom hoverer at work. Hovering isnt conducive with good aims and hoverers apparently are too toilet phobic to wipe up their OWN piss

Off topic we had a phantom splatterer at work. Liquid shit all over the bowl, seat and floor every single day.

Was fucking disgusting. I felt awful for the lady who had to clean the loos every morning

Thats just so disrespectful to the cleaner and colleagues ewww

Oh that is so vile.

I do consider myself a feminist, but there are a few things men can do that we can't, and weeing standing up is one of them.

The weirdest example I ever saw was an OP who thought that birthday cards for specific relatives (i.e., ones with 'To a wonderful mother on her birthday'' or something like that on the front) were 'common'*

This wasn’t me but I agree 😂

@SpringHen the toilet was an accessible one on the mezzanine floor of the building but as I recall lots of people used to use it. Had our suspicions who it might be as one person who worked on that floor had lots of various food intolerances that made him have all kinds of reactions. Could never prove it was him though obviously.

I do consider myself a feminist, but there are a few things men can do that we can't, and weeing standing up is one of them.

Surely a she-wee would be a better solution for the seat phobic than hovering??

DC of age 15 = help them out, encourage, show how to do things etc. DC of age 16 = why are cooking/cleaning/helping out your DC, they are an adult. Also - the shock and calling them a complete mug when someone irons a shirt for their DP.

limon believe me, it takes no time at all for those piles of junk to build up. It's how the rest of the family view tidying. Dh and mail leave it on the counter for me to deal with. Ditto empty carrier bags, receipts, you name it. DC are still under the impression that sweeping things into a pile is valid tidying

ShiftyMcGifty has anyone (who doesn't actually have a disability) but feels disabled

Eh???? How does that work??? How can you not have a disability but "feel disabled?" It is not like a man saying he "feels like a woman" so is entitled to enter a women's changing room/toilets.

Apologies if this was an ironic post- I have not RTFT. Very unmumsnetty and naughty of me, I know!