To ask if you would forget your morals and principles to give your children a better life?

[OverTheMountain42]

Posting here for traffic but asking just that,

Would you do a job that was totally against every moral and principal you have, just to give your children a better life?

Currently financially things are looking more and more bleak. I have an opportunity to do a job which isn't illegal, isn't prostitution but is somewhat demeaning and not a great example as a parent to do. I wouldn't be considering this if I didn't have a child and have always been quite against it. But now needs must. Family and friends would definitely disapprove but most would under I think. I will be going from answers here.

We aren't completely destitute or starving but this would definitely mean I would be able to give my child a far better life, my time with him would be slightly less but not hugely significant.

What would you do? Go against everything you stood for, but it would be easier, or keep your principles and morals and look for something else even if it pays less and takes longer?

Thank you all again, life would be better if you all lived in my town! This thread has given me a little bit of the self esteem back at least, so I'm grateful for all your responses.

To the poster asking about Warwick, I do know him and his family very well. He offered me acting work when I was younger, but I preferred doing my career choice. Some of the acting he did was a little too uncomfortable for me personally, especially the series with Ricky Gervais.

There is so much we can all do to put an end to this vile discrimination once and for all. If only one parent at one school you visited had had the gumption to point to you and say to tbe approaching teacher, 'I think this lady was before me!' We are as much to blame if we don't call this behaviour out! Rest assured I will op and I will hope my family do the same. Stamp it out!

@Voiceforreason Well said, I agree.

That series he did with his family was good. I enjoyed that.

I just want to add my voice to everyone saying don’t do this.

I would forget my principles to get my child a better life but what you’ve described is demeaning and doesn’t sound safe.

You’re worth so much more than that.

I wouldn't do something that hurt someone else, but otherwise I would bend my morals to support my children, absolutely.

Sorry, serves me right for not rtft. I would not do this job unless we were absolutely desperate. I think it would be bad for your mental health and the financial pay off is not worth that.

It is vile that anyone would suggest it tbh.

I think if you can take the 'fuck you' line and see it as a bit of fun, earn some great money, then, why the hell not.
Most of the punters will be fine - pissed up lads etc. nothing too sinister.
It's shitty that people will see you in this way, but some people do, so why not make some money from it. But you'd need to feel really firm in your decision. Proud even. So you can talk to your DCs about why you did it. Not in a martyr way - (oh i did it for you to have a better life), but more, i did this to reclaim who i am and what i stand for.
I really admire people who do unconventional jobs. Women who do cam work, lapdancing etc. Lots of women with few qualificartions will take that kind of work because the pay is so much better than anything else they can get. and i really think fair play!

The world isn't ever going to be perfect, why wait for it to be.....

Take the money. Good luck OP xxxx

The only people, and by people I mean MEN, who would WANT to do this to another person are the absolute bottom feeders of the population.

You are a woman of worth and importance. You are not a curiosity for the vilest people to exploit, and any man considering this should take a good long look at himself to understand the desperation and humiliation he is exploiting from a fellow human.

Keep yourself as far away from such horrible men as you can. You are worth so much more than this.

Sorry i hadn't read the whole thread!!! x

Glad you decided not to do it. Now fix your sights on your true, fabulous worth. Xxxx

Be brilliant and be happy, I am sure you can get your old career back. Xxxxx

I absolutely can't believe this - I just googled it. No way! I can't believe the mentality of some people. How can they live with themselves?
OP can I ask, where is your DS' father in all this? Are there any family who could help with the fees?
Private school fees are at least 5K per term - so 50 hours at £100 per hour.
Do you have a particular school in mind that you think would be more accepting?
Have you looked into bursaries at all?

Panto works yes... But is it legal to ask for height challenged people to be handcuffed to someone?

As others said its massively physically risky.

I would absolutely capitalise on your differences.. But not being tied to a stag.

1ndig0
DS father and I are separated, probably going to divorce. He is about to be made redundant so will not commit to anything financially. His family could help but won't, very against private education.

There are schools in the local area that I would think would be more accepting, especially within the city near to us (5 miles) but how I would or could get him into them without moving I don't know. I was thinking about calling the local authority tomorrow and seeing what they could suggest, if on a parents disability they would have some sort of way to get out of the catchment area.

Bursary would be an option but without me being back into work there wouldn't be a lot I could pay so I'd need a very high bursary offer.

Please, if anyone does have or know anything about getting out of catchment areas without moving I'd be grateful.

I think it would be a huge pity if private school parents only were accepting of your shorter stature and state school parents are. My children go to fee paying schools but I am sure most parents at state schools do try to treat other parents of all kinds with respect. I am sorry you have had bad experiences.

I don't think the chains, costume etc is a good idea for you and am glad you rejected it whereas my sons' friends in their last term at school hired an Oompa loompa in costume for a few hours |(which I realise some mumsnetters will not like) but the younger children at school adored it and the man was lovely. No one was mocking him.
It is the sex chains stuff you were offered that is appalling rather than say an acting role or something like that.

No really no
Glad you’ve changed your mind

I can’t believe that this is a “thing”, and you’d wonder atvthe thought processes of whoever first thought of it. OP, it is horrible to think that you’ve been treated so terribly by people, especially when you went to the school open evenings but I’m glad that you’ve decided not to go down this route. You’re worth so much more than an accessory to some drunken stag-do, and I really hope you get back to your own profession once your child starts school. I also hope that you manage to find a school where your son is happy and content and where you yourself are treated with the respect and dignity with which every human being should be treated.

OP, there was a programme on tv about the lives of dwarves, I'm not sure if you can find it on youtube, it was a couple of years ago.
It was very interesting and followed their lives over a space of a few months.
Most of them were entertainers, through a proper agency and worked all over the place.
The entertainment industry always has parts for small people, I don't just mean panto and 7 dwarves.
Look how much money Kenny Baker made out of Star Wars movies.
I'm glad you've decided not to do this, but please see if you can find the programme and agency.

Op, here you are and you may be able to find the other programmes.

You are a woman of worth and importance. You are not a curiosity for the vilest people to exploit, and any man considering this should take a good long look at himself to understand the desperation and humiliation he is exploiting from a fellow human.

Keep yourself as far away from such horrible men as you can. You are worth so much more than this.

So much this, OP. I wish you and your little boy all the best

Oh OP, I've read your thread and you sound such a lovely person, and I really, really hope you choose not to do this. I just think that the fact that you're not comfortable doing it, but would do it for the sake of your child is amazing - but still don't do it.

It's an abhorrent thing - stag night revelry at your expense. That is not equality - just like a woman doing lap dancing for the sake of her child is not actually a good deal for women - being treated as the sex class.

It's not comparable at all - but my morality was tested just slightly - before I had children. I had a job I hated - really hated - and was looking for new jobs. There was one advertised - at a tobacco company. It was a dream job, much higher pay - but at a tobacco company. I just couldn't do it. My morality got in the way. And I've never regretted not doing it.

And I just have to agree with this so much: "Keep yourself as far away from such horrible men as you can. You are worth so much more than this."

I applied to be a lap dancer once...I never turned up for an audition

Never do anything you wouldn’t be proud of doing in front of your child. Glad you decided against it OP and find a better solution even it means a longer and harder but admirable slog. X

I can't believe there are men who have stag parties like this. It's vile!

Agree, takemedown.

Who'd marry a man like that?!?