To ask if you would forget your morals and principles to give your children a better life?

[OverTheMountain42]

Posting here for traffic but asking just that,

Would you do a job that was totally against every moral and principal you have, just to give your children a better life?

Currently financially things are looking more and more bleak. I have an opportunity to do a job which isn't illegal, isn't prostitution but is somewhat demeaning and not a great example as a parent to do. I wouldn't be considering this if I didn't have a child and have always been quite against it. But now needs must. Family and friends would definitely disapprove but most would under I think. I will be going from answers here.

We aren't completely destitute or starving but this would definitely mean I would be able to give my child a far better life, my time with him would be slightly less but not hugely significant.

What would you do? Go against everything you stood for, but it would be easier, or keep your principles and morals and look for something else even if it pays less and takes longer?

Depends. Morals matter yes but my children matter more. I don't think I'd do it if they were fed and housed and clothed and happy enough but a bit poor, but if it was a question of needing to feed them I'd do pretty much anything.

I lapdanced when I was in my late 20s and struggling, this was before kids, and it really nearly finished me off. Not because of judgement from others, but because I couldn’t believe I’d reached those levels where I would put aside my morals / self esteem and do something for the money. It was incredibly damaging, and I can imagine would have been a million times worse if I had had Ds at that point.

I think somethings are more important than money so long as you are not struggling for food / roof over your head etc.

My guess would be playing stereotypical “dwarf” parts as someone with dwarfism maybe?

I think you need to be able to look yourself in the mirror.

If you can live with whatever this is then by all means go ahead. If you can't or are ashamed then dont- there are other ways to make money

I think it would depend on what the potential harm to others was. I can't imagine in the current economy ever making the decision to have a role in a puppy farm, in a pro life group, the bnp or gaining from others in the sex trade. Whereas I could easily overcome my morals and lap dance if it was that or destitution.

Morals don't pay the bills, do what you gotta do x

I'm guessing dwarf acting or rollypoly gram?

Depends - if you think you can hack it go for it.

If this an occupation that is legal, that others do and enjoy, and it’s well rewarded then go for it. If it is something that you personally would find embarrassing or humiliating then no, it’s not worth your peace of mind.

Can you live with yourself, trust yourself and accept yourself while doing it?

I've lapdanced. And an above poster said how much they were effected, it didn't effect me whatsoever. However a lot of things effect me that wouldn't effect others. Nobody can answer this for you OP.

I have friends that work the 'carny' circuit, mostly doing acts like fire breathing or burlesque or what have you. There's quite a few people with 'physical differences' that are part of it. They make good money. I don't necessarily think that they're not respected either. It's all a bit vaudeville.

I am quite jealous because their working day is always a lot more interesting than mine. And they have a lot of down time for other pursuits, jobs, children etc.

Omg not a feed o file?

Is it like showing off the physical difference online for others sexual gratification?

There was a rolypoly gram in my university town who had long fair hair and used to dress up as Pam Anderson - in the red swimsuit, but a size 24 version. My landlord (who was friendly with her) reckoned she made a lot of money. I felt sorry for her at the time but now I'm not sure.

I thought this thread was going to be about a Labour voter educating their kids privately when I saw the title.

I supppise you gotta do what you gotta do.

It depends. To me there is a difference between me being ashamed and others judging so not wanting to tell anyone what I did.

If it's something I would be ashamed of then I don't think I'd do it because I have to live with that forever but if it's the second one then I may not tell people but it wouldn't necessarily stop me doing it but I'd likely need to have the right set of circumstances to consider some of them.

I'm pretty open minded so the second category covers a lot of jobs others may think are massive no no jobs!

Morals dont fill bellies.

I currently cannot afford principles and if I was you and it would provide a better life then go for it.

Sex work (which I am pretty sure is what the OP means, in some capacity or another - sex work includes phone sex, cam work and pro-topping as well as stripping, dancing and full contact) is not inherently wrong, harmful or degrading. There are plenty of people who would regard sex work as less unethical than eg working for a payday loan company.
It's up to you, OP. If you would find it profoundly upsetting to do whatever this job is, then don't do it. If you think you are OK with it but are worried about what friends/family might say, remember that they are not you and they are not in charge of you. and if they don't like it they can get stuffed.

Your parenting is more than earning money to provide "things" for your children....the older I get, the more firmly I believe this.

What comes across from your posts is that you are not happy about the prospect of doing it, but that you will for the love of your children.

You want a decent future for your child? Then, regardless of what other people are doing, stick to your principles.

I know it sounds easy from the other side of a keyboard- but I have been (and could slip back to) where money is very very tight.
Children need parents who have high regard for themselves- so that your child can have a high opinion of themselves too.
So it it's going to knock you back, don't do it.

If it’s something that leaves a footprint, no. If there would be photos or videos that compromise me or my family, no. Do you have beautiful feet by any chance?

If it's anything like devotee stuff online though then you need to be very sure and have the confidence to look after yourself because the fetishits who will be using your services will try to push you further and further! Plus once stuff is online you can never get it back!

I really am in two minds about it. I saw an opportunity and the pay is minimum of £100 per hour and the work is maybe 5 hours at a time.

My child is obviously my biggest concern, how he would feel if he knew or understood but a little also in saying to him that people may laugh/point/stare at mummy when we are out but because of that we are able to live as we would be.

I have had a very professional career before DS, a lot of people I know would say it's more of a waste of my intelligence but it would take a good few years to get back to where I was as I came out to have DS.

How I feel personally is torn in two, I know I will either enjoy it and think screw the demeaning part or it will take me down but without doing it I can't answer for certain right now. All your opinions are very useful though and are giving me much to think about and question.

My dad got made redundant in the 80s. He was offered a very lucrative job in 'defence'. He turned it down. I'm proud of him.

If you think you can hack being stared at I would, as long as it isn't hurting anyone else. I was a table dancer/shot girl i quite enjoyed it some nights too I would never do anything to hurt anyone else or that involved cruelty but if a load of drunk losers want to pay to see me prance round in my underwear, well, it's not me that's sad and pathetic and it paid for me to have a safe home and get a degree (paid up front through OU so no debts).

I will say though, if people are paying to basically stare at your body, whether that's because you look different or are practically naked, you need to be very comfortable in your own skin, there will be comments and if you are self conscious they will destroy you.

I think it really depends on how you feel about yourself OP.

I don't know what your difference is that makes you applicable for this role. But if you're in any way embarrassed or uncomfortable in your skin then 100% DON'T do it.

If you were solidly happy in yourself then I think you would care a lot less about what other people think.

If you are comfortable enough to go ahead, and assuming it's like a kissogram type of thing I'd put in very strict rules that you only do XXX city or whatnot. Anything not directly in your backyard.

Would you want someone you love dearly to do something that was totally against their morals and principles just to give you a better life?

What would you say to that person if they were in your shoes right now, considering doing this for your benefit?

I am not sure where my line is.

If it is the difference between food, safety and shelter then I would do anything to ensure that for my kids. With no thought to morality or otherwise.

If those things are covered and we are just talking a 'better' life then the bar is set much higher.