To ask if you would forget your morals and principles to give your children a better life?

[OverTheMountain42]

Posting here for traffic but asking just that,

Would you do a job that was totally against every moral and principal you have, just to give your children a better life?

Currently financially things are looking more and more bleak. I have an opportunity to do a job which isn't illegal, isn't prostitution but is somewhat demeaning and not a great example as a parent to do. I wouldn't be considering this if I didn't have a child and have always been quite against it. But now needs must. Family and friends would definitely disapprove but most would under I think. I will be going from answers here.

We aren't completely destitute or starving but this would definitely mean I would be able to give my child a far better life, my time with him would be slightly less but not hugely significant.

What would you do? Go against everything you stood for, but it would be easier, or keep your principles and morals and look for something else even if it pays less and takes longer?

Yes, I absolutely wouid, especially to pay shool fees. My DC are in private school and I would do much worse if necessary to keep them there.

Please don't do it, OP. The thought of it is nearly making me cry for you.

You're worth so much more than that. Anyone is.

No way. Love and respect are way more important than cash and material goods.

I wouldn't do this. I don't think you'll be safe and tbh if your child ever saw videos or pictures he will be completely humiliated. Someone at his school will find out and use the information to bully him.
He doesn't need to go to private school, most children go to normal schools and get on perfectly fine.

Please don't do it. If it was something you could be proud of then I wouldn't be so against it.

If nothing else- the likelihood is that at your sons new posh school they were dig out the pictures and he will be teased mercilessly about it. Teach him how to stand up verbally to bullies who tease him. There is nothing to be ashamed of for being who you are- and he should be proud of his mum who would do anything for him. Thats going to be hard if his friends are passing round pics of you handcuffed to a drunk idiot. Whether you are 3ft or an 8 ft amazonian.

I've just watched a couple of Youtube videos on the stag do gig. How are you with dealing with drunken banter/abuse for hours on end, I can imagine that'd be the least of your worries. If there was no minder with you I could also imagine it would get physically abusive.

Sorry you had a bad experience with the ignorant people at your sons potential school. Are there other schools you can try other than private.

This sounds like a really really bad idea. If any of your son's peers found out it would be excruciating for him.

Can you imagine the shame of photos of your mother in chains and a sexy outfit, being lead around by a pack of drunk men, circulating around your class at school? How much would you wish she hadn't made such a terrible decision, how little she seemed to value herself and the impact in her family.

Plus, there would be massive questions about your physical safety and the likelihood of sexual harassment.

And in order to afford school fees you're going to have to be doing this, what, once or twice a month? For 13 years? The chances of something really dangerous happening, let alone issues to your mental health, are far too high. Try phone sex line work or non nude webcam work if you want to try unusual and more highly paid work, or to capitalise on your physical difference.

Definitely not! I can't actually believe people pay to do this

Look the bottom line is that it's not a one off thing - in order for it to be lucrative you would have to do it regularly. The chances of you getting into a dangerous situation, with a group of pissed men, who won't give a shit about your safety is VERY high indeed.

For that reason alone - do not do this!

The type of men that book this kind of 'entertainment' are morally corrupt. Not the kind of people you want to spend the evening with, they don't see you as human.

I'm more appalled about the fact that strangers call you oompa loompa and take pictures of you while you are going about your day.

The work sounds soul destroying. I wouldn't do it unless you are very sure that it won't hurt your self esteem.

Now I know what it is, I’d be really concerned about the safety aspect tbh op. Like a pp said, surely only a twat would hire you and do you really want to be around a group of drunken twats all night?

I don’t think it would necessarily pay for private school for your ds and private schools can be fucking horrendous, especially if you don’t come from a wealthy background, (I used to go to one).

I 100% get why you’re considering it though. I suppose only you can guess how you’d feel. I would definitely check the security aspect beforehand though. Do you bring someone with you to make sure you’re safe etc?

Please don't do this OP. It is demeaning and will probably erase all self esteem you have. If your DS sees pictures or hears about it when he is older just think how he will feel?

And I don’t think you’d be giving your child a better life. Can you imagine what his life will be like when the photos start circulating around school?

@AnnieAnoniMouse

It’s one thing to be paid because you’re sexy, it’s another to be paid because you’re overweight or a dwarf ot whatever.

You're saying people who are overweight or have dwarfism can't be sexy...

OP, I wouldn't do this. As PPs have pointed out, you'd need to hire a security guy every time which would seriously cut into your profit margins. I'm a sex worker, and I don't do stag parties (or any type of party) because I'd rather exfoliate my face with barbed wire than deal with a bunch of drunk, coked up twats until bum o'clock in the morning.

If you want to go down the adult services route, I'd suggest webcamming. You can do it from the safety of your own home, you can work when you want, you can wear a mask or angle the camera to not show your face. You're not going to get £100/hour but I can easily do over £100 a day after the cam site's cut, if I'm on all day.

I'm so sorry to hear about people cunts insulting you in public. Nobody should have to put up with that. What a world :(

Oh OP :( I don't think this is about morality and principles, but it sounds like an awful job. You'll be treated horrendously and I really don't think you'll be safe. The kind of monsters who'd think hiring you for something like this is okay aren't going to be treating you with the respect that you deserve. How would you feel if your own mother had done this so she could afford for you to have what she perceived as a better chance in life?

I don't think there's anything wrong with exploiting your dwarfism for monetary gain if you're happy with that and if you're safe and in control, something like acting or whatever. But this just sounds horrendous.

Just to add, I'm obviously a bit naive, but I'm shocked to hear you have people laughing at you and taking photos :( I'm so sorry you have to suffer this, people are so shit sometimes.

Please don't do this Lovely, it isn't that I'm judging you, for wanting to afford you're DS a better life, but I fear for your safety. To think of you being prodded and poked, dragged around, tethered to the arm of some humongous drunk, is appalling and frightening.
Entertaining people is one thing, but this doesn't sit right with me.
This is a shot in the dark but, how about becoming a life model for art students, not sure how much that pays though.
I hope you find what you're looking for soon.🌸

No, purely from the safety angle.

Can you try panto or other work that wouldn't put you into physical danger?

When I replied saying go for it I didnt know what it was, now I do I have to say that I agree with others about being concerned for your personal safety. I really wouldnt risk this.

Oh OP, I wouldn't do this,no way!!

Anything could happen!

Feel sick actually knowing there's people that pay for this for a laugh :(

Op I have no advice for you regarding your dilemma. Just wanted to say how much I admire your strength of character. I am absolutely appalled, as I am sure we all are, at the treatment you routinely receive from random strangers! Are they all so perfect that they sneer at those with different physical characteristics? Makes me wonder who parented them and raised duch vile human beings? They are twisted and ugly inside and that is infinitely worse than any physical characteristic. Be proud of who you are op. A mum who would do anything to make a better life for their child. There are many, including on here, who do not live up yo your ideals. I wish you the very best of luck. You deserve it!

Ohhh good grief no OP. Ive found this upsetting reading tbh.

Additionally, I would be very concerned about the men who are paying for this in the name of 'entertainment'. I have never heard about this before and find the idea of someone paying for this quite repulsive.

Oh love, you are worth so much more. This isn't about morals, it's about your safety and your soul. Think very very carefully about how this work will make you feel....

Please don't do it. You're worth so much more. I think in some ways this could be more mentally damaging than something like prostitution for your self esteem. I'd say being female there's also a high chance of you getting sexually assaulted which is a horrendous prospect.

Stag do idiots and the soulless people who make money from them also think women are objects. Anyone over weight. Anyone they deem particularly unattractive or attractive. Older women. The list is endless. This even being a service makes me feel sick.

I can't fathom why people think it's ok to stare and make comments in public, that's horrible . But please don't let those awful humans make you feel like you may as well do this.

There would be so many negative messages sent to your son that would far outweigh the positive effects of extra cash.

Thank you all for your replies.

My self esteem is at an all time low anyway especially since having my ds. I was very confident beforehand and had a great career where I would face the public every day and I didn't have any problems. I went had my ds, I joined mother and baby groups and never really fitted in, so I stopped going. I felt like the elephant in the room.
I have great solid friends that I've had for years so again it's not like I'm socially awkward.

My ds started nursery in a private school setting, for the first time since having him I felt accepted and equal to the other parents, it was a real confidence boost.

Now the time came to looking at schools. Every school open evening not one teacher bothered to talk to me, they were very obviously greeting the other parents, I was ignored. I thought maybe they did think I was one of the parents kids, without really noticing me, so then the awkwardness when I did speak to them was clear. One teacher couldn't make eye contact with me. At another school one of the men said to his wife that the freak show was coming to town. All of this experience left my self esteem again in tatters. This was consistent over the 4 schools I visited.

So in a way I was looking to protect my son and keep him where he is already accepted and doesn't hear anything about my size and I feel comfortable taking him, by putting myself into even more horrible situations. I didnt think about the years down the line when he could be bullied for this, and it would probably be putting him in a worse situation.

Honestly I won't be doing it, instead I will be looking at either moving (difficult at the moment) or seeing if there is any way I can get him into a school out of the catch area and then going back into my career once he is in school.

That sounds horrible. I can't believe there are people who would pay to humiliate someone like that.

I hope you find another way soon op.
X

When my DC were young I did some pretty seedy work. I don't regret it as such because it saved us from the Wolf at the door. Now they're older I get scared everytime there's a wider family occasion with alcohol ie my siblings who knew. I wouldn't want anyone to let it slip. My kids would be horrified and that fills me with shame.