To ask if you would forget your morals and principles to give your children a better life?

[OverTheMountain42]

Posting here for traffic but asking just that,

Would you do a job that was totally against every moral and principal you have, just to give your children a better life?

Currently financially things are looking more and more bleak. I have an opportunity to do a job which isn't illegal, isn't prostitution but is somewhat demeaning and not a great example as a parent to do. I wouldn't be considering this if I didn't have a child and have always been quite against it. But now needs must. Family and friends would definitely disapprove but most would under I think. I will be going from answers here.

We aren't completely destitute or starving but this would definitely mean I would be able to give my child a far better life, my time with him would be slightly less but not hugely significant.

What would you do? Go against everything you stood for, but it would be easier, or keep your principles and morals and look for something else even if it pays less and takes longer?

Personally my children come before myself. So yes I would sacrifice my principles to give them a better life. Principles cost money, they are easy when you have it.

I made a choice a few years ago which whilst not immoral was quite a full-on thing to do. I have no regrets and every day I am glad I made the choice when I look around at the place we now live in and the life my DC lead.

Why would people stare at you if you were out with your child? Does the secret job leave a visible record on your appearance?

If so, I am definitely putting my money on bearded lady!

If people would laugh/point/stare at you in the street, then no. I would not.

I’m amazed by people saying morals matter more than their children. Thats quite... something.

If it doesn’t make you utterly miserable (and hey, almost everyone has had to do a few jobs that do to make ends meet), and it’s the detrimental to you: it’s just a job.

I'm guessing it's something like BBW on the internet so you feel you might be identifiable?

Whilst I would consider myself a bearded lady, my facial hair is not enough to qualify otherwise I could go for the 2 in 1 part. Sad times, but the pay for this job could pay for laser hair removal at least!

Is it actually a circus thing? I can't imagine that paying £100 an hour!

How good at you at compartmentalising? I’m awful. Every time I bought something with the money it would feel somehow less than right - I don’t want money that way. But, that’s a ridiculously idealistic and privileged view to hold and if we were desperate, yeah, of course.

I could earn a lot more money than I do but I have my dream job. I think it makes me a nicer person. I think I’m a better mum. But like I say, crap at compartmentalising and there’s a lot we go without compared to some.

I would become identifiable and there would be photographs and videos on social media etc

Don't do it.

Ah so it’s permanent. And the money isn’t. I think that changes things. I’d do it for survival but not luxuries.

I am not sure.

Would dc be at risk of bullying from it?

Unless it’s actually something you could become really proud of?? Is there a way to own a job like that??

You’ve got to weigh up better material goods for the child with them being potentially ashamed of you.

Fine if it’s life or death, but it’s not.

Pictures stay on the internet forever.

Surely if it would be on social media it can't be that bad?

The thing is with 'morals' - they are not, necessarily, absolute. It is pretty much immoral to hurt another person unnecessarily, or to decieve another person for your own gain, but sex, nudity etc are not immoral. It's just cultural (and superstitious) bullshit that demands people (particularly women) cover themselves up and don't have sex except to please the men who own them.

Every employed person is using their body/brain to earn money. If you are strong and get a job lifting and moving heavy objects, that's using your body to earn money. If you have excellent close vision and excellent fine motor skills and you get a job which involves a lot of delicate, fiddly, close-up manual work, that's using your body.

If you think doing this job will be upsetting or scary for you then don't do it. The more people who do sex-industry-related jobs and demand to be safe properly paid and treated with respect while doing them, the better, though.

Ooh I was going to say do it (unless morals meant theft or other similar moral conundrum) but having read your last post I'd urge you to think carefully. I've stuff written about me on the tinternet that I'd really rather was not there but cannot get rid of and am dreading DCs finding it which inevitably they will.
There's a big difference between doing something that you find personally demeaning and something that society might find demeaning: it's about what doesn't corrode your soul. Be true to yourself.

"I would become identifiable and there would be photographs and videos on social media etc"

No WAY. That shit will be around FOREVER.

There must be other (albeit lower paid) jobs you can do that won't have such far-reaching consequences.

Would it harm other people with the same physical characteristics? If so I would say that, in moral terms, you aren't entitled to do that.

May as well just reveal I guess and sod all consequences.

So dwarf hire, where I would be hired for a stag party as a form of entertainment handcuffed to a drunken stag for the evening.

DC soon to start school, looked at local state schools and the reception I got from the teachers alone was enough to put me off sending him, I can send him to a private school, this would help pay for that. There would be the opportunity for other work along these lines like panto etc. He's too young to understand what I would be doing and already hears people shouting midget, oompa lompa etc at me whilst we are out as well as taking photographs. So I've come to the point where I feel whatever I do this happens anyway, I may as well attempt to improve his life by earning from it.

Only you know how this might make you feel. I would be certain however that you will not come away from this job feeling good about your dwarfism, or even okay. And I hate to think of that for anyone. Drunk men treating you like a prop and a joke? You are worth so much more and if your son was older he’d tell you that too. But maybe your confidence is robust enough that it wouldn’t bother you? In which case, that’s different. But I still kind of hate the pricks that you’ll be working with.

Could you do this job in a different county? IMO the inconvenience of travel would be worth it, less chance of running into people you know. I'd give it a go in your situation, £100 an hour is great money.

I'd totally earn money in the way you've described and feel proud, not morally compromised. Your body, your choice. Good luck with your decision OP xx

It's a choice for you to make, OP. People who are of an unusual (as in: not many people have the same physical type) physical type are not immoral if they choose to use their specific physical type to earn some money. Your body belongs to you and no one else.