If your dp did this?

[namechangersgalore]

I have just arrived back from a holiday with my dp and baby. A group of dp's male friends were visiting the destination at the same time and he basically spent the week staying out with them every night until 3am, spent one whole morning going out to an activity with them and one day they even happened to be in the same Waterpark at the same time. I'm starting to realise that being in the same destination at the same time probably wasn't exactly a coincidence and I was left holding the baby for a lot of the week. He did pay for the whole trip so do I have a right to be furious with him?

Even if he didn't know, OP, he shouldn't have spent so much time with them and not with you. I would be livid.

Ridiculous behaviour. So he wanted to have fun with his mates and quite literally left you holding the baby. Does he have form for being selfish?

To add to my post since I have read the other things you have added!

This would be over if it was me. The very least I expect in a relationship is to be respected and this behaviour screams that you are worth nothing to him! The blatantness of it also points to the fact that he thinks he can do what he wants and your just going to be his doormat. Sorry but I'm worth more than that so I'd be out!

I'd be gutted if my dh did that to me. He's lied and been deceitful not only you but your child too? Why not just be honest. No brainer for me, cya later!!!

He has also spend a lot of our money hiring fancy cars for him and his friends to ride around in,

He has form for pleasing himself.
LTB, you are already a single parent. Let him pay maintenance and hang out with his mates. He is a complete loser

Thinking about it I think he wanted to go with our baby more than me but he couldn't take the baby on his own, he is an amazing father to our baby and i can't fault him as a dad but sometimes I feel like a spare part and I just provided him with a child. He is 25.

Also, even if it was a massive coincidence he still shouldn't have abandoned you like that every night. Maybe he could have met up with them for one night out in the whole week, after asking you if you didn't mind.

Well it was obviously planned. He knew you wouldn’t allow him to go on a lads holiday so he convinced you to book where they were planning to go. He’s played you for complete fool. It would be game over for me I’m afraid. I know LTB isn’t popular on MN but if he is the kind of person who actually goes to this level of deceit then he won’t change. He’ll say he will, and he will appear to but he will be lying and scheming behind your back.

I'd leave him. No joke. Lying, showing his true priorities - I'd be off.

You had no idea but he had every idea. He paid so you'd say nothing. He sounds like a child. Can you book a week away with the girls and leave him with baby?

Arse

he is an amazing father to our baby and i can't fault him as a dad

Oh come off it he is not. Amazing fathers do not ditch wife and baby to play with their mates on a family holiday!

I don't think I could look any more shocked if I tried!

What the HELL are you doing with this guy?

I ca t believe this! How utterly awful OP - I’d be very upset if this happened to me.

What’s he like day to day? Is this his standard operating procedure?

I can’t believe his friends would go along with this, never mind your actual partner planning it in the first place. Who gatectashes/tags along on their mate’s family holiday?!

So disrespectful.

You need to let him know you are not a door mat and this sort of behaviour will not be tolerated!

I'd be fuming. Something similar happened to a friend of mine - she and her DP booked a 2 week holiday with another couple. The 2 men spent the entire holiday boozing, going out and partying, while the 2 women were left caring for the children (including my friend who had a 4 month old at the time). They didn't get a break, not once did the men let them have a night off/out and they started drinking from lunchtime when they got up so no chance of even watching the kids during the day. My friend was beside herself with anger and has said she is never going on holiday with him again!

The more you post the worse he sounds.
LTB, seriously.

I'd have moved to a different hotel or flown home.
He's not a great dad. He treated you with complete disrespect, didn't spend any nights with his DC, prioritised his friends over his DC, etc, etc.
I'd end the relationship.

I’m going to guess that you haven’t been together longer than a couple of years and the baby was unplanned.

Amazing dads spend the family holiday with the family. Not his mates. I'd have come home on day 2. Certainly wouldn't have let him meet up with mates more than once (or at all!). Please make sure you go away on your own with the girls.

He works long hours but he does spend quite a lot of his free time with our baby, we don't go out much or do much as a family though.

I would feel that he wanted to be with them more than me.

I would not have accepted it. He would have to have slept in their room because he wouldn't be in mine after the first night he went out.

If my husband wants a lads holiday he has one, he does not pretend to me that we are having a family holiday then ignore me and leave me.

Yeah, it's not good. You're setting yourself up for years of misery and disrespect from the sound of it, I'm sorry.