Childbirth - Anyone NEVER doing it again? *Title Edited by MNHQ*

[cheshiremama89]

Childbirth that is...

Had DS a month ago tomorrow and the labour was the most horrendous experience I've ever been through.

Even my mum who has had 5 children described it as traumatic.

After a horrible birth, 4 days in hospital and a tough first month of self injecting, iron tabs, antibiotics, compression stockings and constipation I can quite safely say that I won't be doing it again.

Fave program used to be One Born Every Minute, now I can't bear the thought of it.

Thinking about the experience makes me very emotional and I'm looking forward to it being a distant memory.

Has anyone else felt the same? Gotten over it? Done it again?!?'

Please please look forward to the day when this is so much less painful. A month is such a very short time. Enjoy your lovely baby and concentrate on the snuggles and see how you feel in the future. This here and now is such a special time, that you never get back. I felt like you and have three lovely babies now. Be as positive as you can and just keep going one day at a time.

My first was traumatic but my second was like a healing experience for me. It was quite wonderful really

Someone else mentioned giving birth abroad : I gave birth in Canada, had an EMCS with my first, with my second the doc asked me if I wanted another section, I said yes. He didn't even bother trying to persuade me about thinking of having a VBAC.

There is an association that maybe useful to you. The Birth Trauma Association offer help and support to women who have experienced traumatic births. They can also direct you to a therapist in your area.

Today 23:28 FranticallyPeaceful

My first was traumatic but my second was like a healing experience for me. It was quite wonderful really

You put so succinctly what I was trying to say. Thank you

Never again. It pales in comparison to kidney stones, but still, never!!!

My first birth was horrible and traumatic and ended in a trip to NICU for my baby and me having a pph, infected episiotomy, my fanjo had to be restitched and I had a blood transfusion. I was very uncertain about another baby ever. I had a debrief with a midwife after some flashback episodes and that helped. 5 years after i got the bfp with baby 1 I am 36 weeks pregnant with baby 2. Not sure how he will be exiting yet as he keeps flipping between breech and not and is also very big but I am feeling ok about it all. I feel prepared for tje reality compared to my lovely but absolute fantasy birth plan. This time it's basically get baby out, give me drugs and blood as needed.
If i have a section I have requested to be sterilized at the same time and this has been agreed. Both pregnancies have been dreadful with lots of problems and pain. I don't ever ever want to be pregnant again. I'm kinda looking forward to delivering this baby in order to officially declare my child bearing done!

I know im bit l8 jioning but i totally get what your saying my 1st was forceps 3rd degree tear and infection my 2nd was csection lost loads of blood, 3rd c
Was vbac went horribly wrong emergency csection and nearly died just had another child 12 weeks ago and had 2 infections but i can honestly say that i cant wait for my 5th babe so u really do forget x

I enjoyed my pregnancy and the birth. Enjoying the labour was purely down to the fact that I requested an epidural very early on in my labour (1cmd). This gave me a mostly painless experience which I was able to focus on and enjoy. The stitches bursting a few days after was hell on earth. That did put me off but honestly I can't wait to do it again.

My first and second births were traumatic. First one was shoulder dystocia which led to emergency forceps delivery. Second I retained some placenta and hemmorraged, had a midwife literally sit on my stomach with no pain relief to get the placenta out. Didn’t work so I was rushed down to theatre, I lost 4 pints of blood and had two transfusions.

I had a third child and am pregnant again .

My family always laugh at me because I STILL talk about my first birth experience 39years ago! It was horrendous. My husband told me afterwards” If you never want another child that’s fine by me.” I did have 2 more. 1 planned but not the third. I was terrified but an epidural made all the difference on the second and the 3rd was quite quick and the most natural. However the first experience is etched on my mind. I’m sure I had post traumatic stress after it. Good luck, it really does get easier x.........honestly.

Have two dc, DD8, horrible pregnancy, dreadful birth, 2 weeks over, due to be induced, went into Labour, she was back to back and the pain was unreal, but I didn't recognise it as Labour pains, long Labour and ultimately emc with huge blood loss.

Vowed never to do it again. Her brother almost 6, was born 27 months later. Better pregnancy, vowed to have Vbac, wished I hadn't. 10 days over, long Labour, ventouse and then forceps. He was 10lb. Then I almost died. Huge haemorrhage. Had several transfusions and a subsequent operation to repair undercarriage.

Accidentally pregnant last year (had gone down vasectomy route, but they refused as we were too young!!! At 32). Couldn't face having baby so terminated at 7 weeks.
I'd be due this month. I still think we made the right decision, but I'm having the most horrible nightly nightmares.

putyour

I’m so sorry. Be gentle on yourself, it sounds like a very traumatic experience :/

There is a lot of truth in the saying 'If men had to give birth, every child would be an only child.'

My first birth was a breech and it also "went wrong" let's leave it there you don't want the details but I will add the phrase " 48 hours".

Second was a planned Cesarean. Gently darkened room, soft music playing, hushed voices.....truly I look back on it as one of the happiest experiences of my life. When you have a c section you get proper pain control after so it's pretty easy in the recovery stakes.

Elective Cesarean.....bliss

First birth I had an epidural (dd was back to back and induced) i was in so much pain I didn't want to push. Epidural was wonderful. Ended up having an EMCS. Ds born 2 years later I had a planned CS and it was so calm.

Thoroughly recommend planned cs.

It'll be a distant memory until (if) you fall pregnant again. One birth is never the same as the next either.

Why oh why do we expect childbirth to be like having a nice day out. Always surprises me the way people seem so shocked by what happens and how painful it is. Are we so accustomed to every little complaint having a pill to fix it nowadays we just cannot put up with what is natural. One born every minute-cannot stand the programme. What I have seen is mainly women screaming and yelling because it hurts. Oh dear someone has to fix it. Yes there are circumstances when everything isn't straight forward or takes a sudden turn for the worst but all the antics that some women display will not help or change the situation. Had two births, one with twins, both times had complications but I recovered both physically and mentally. What do we expect, think of your anatomy, of course it will be painful.

My first was traumatic but very fast, we were both unwell after so had to stay in for a few days it took me 5 years to build up the courage to do it again. It was a similar experience tbh but it was definitely worth it. I wouldn’t do it again and my husband said he couldn’t and got a vasectomy. Some people just don’t get the experience of a calm birth, your experience will fade in time then you’ll decide whether you can go through it again

I feel the exact same way. I had DD 9 months ago after trying for 18 months. I also started to watch and loved OBEM but now I can't watch it!
I had a tough pregnancy filled with anxiety every day and ending with preeclampsia needing to be induced, 10 hours of labour ending with birth by forceps and an episiotomy. Followed by 5 days in hospital, self injecting, iron tablets etc!
Our plan was always 2 babies but I cannot even think about getting pregnant again and going trough all that for a second time!
I do feel guilty that my daughter won't have a sibling but I just don't think my mind or body could go through it twice.

What an exceptionally mean comment, manicmij. So women who feel traumatised after horrific births only have themselves to blame, because they expected better and that was stupid of them?

Tell that to the NCT and similar who elevate natural, drug free births as the gold standard. Tell that to those women who say childbirth is wonderful and euphoric and empowering. Tell it to those women to try to silence traumatised women, because they "mustn't frighten" first time mothers.

I had PTSD following the birth of my son. Long, neglected labour and frankly abuse midwife. I went in excited to be giving birth and having a baby and came out a changed person. You have been through a traumatic experience and that takes time to process and indeed may even need some counselling help if you find it intrusive on your life. Fast forward 9 years later and I did do it again after saying I never would. I did Hypnobirthing, worked on my birth anxiety and.... daughter was born prematurely at 33 weeks by EMCS!!! Despite that though it was a much, much more positive experience and one I can live with. It took me several years to really accept my son’s birth and I actually went on to work with pregnant women, when just after he was born I couldn’t look another pregnant woman in the eyes. There is an amazing book called How To Heal A Bad Birth on Amazon. It may be useful to you. I am recommending this to clients as a starting point for birth trauma and how I wish it had been around 9 years ago. Go gently on yourself. You have had a very tough start to motherhood. There are so many women who feel like but it should not stop you having more children if that was you intention. Do have a look at that book xxx

I didn't expect childbirth to be like having a nice day out and i don't see anyone saying they thought that before they went to have a baby (bit of a straw man argument there). What did i expect? I expected to be cared for by health care professionals, I expected to be told the facts, I expected to be listened to. Just basic things which would have made the experience entirely different.

I had 2 ELCs 2 yrs apart and hey couldn't have been more different. The first left me with PTSD and the second was the best experience of my life. What happened to me physically was exactly the same. But the way i was cared for was completely different. It made all the difference.

Why oh why do we expect childbirth to be like having a nice day out. Always surprises me the way people seem so shocked

no one goes into childbirth expecting roses and fluffiness. I expected the following from my c section:

Efficient surgical atompshete
Discomfort while setting spinal
Surgery - possible shakes and weirdness from anaesthesia but nothing too bad
Recovery to be painful at first, with reasonable recovery time of a few weeks.

That sounds reasonable? Yes?

I did not expect the spinal to fail completely part way through

If you think my reaction of shock then a very polite ‘excuse me, I can feel what you’re doing, something has gone wrong’ to the surgeons was overreacting then do say. I did not have any screaming habdabs, even though fuck me it hurt until they pumped me full of something.

Women go into vaginal birth expecting pain, competent care, possible complications and efficient, respectful clinical responses to those complications.

They do not expect nor should have have to put up with some of the awful things detailed already on this thread. I’m not surprised some women have PTSD.

mancmiji must be the reincarnation of my mil. it's just a day's work she would say. just as crap a comment as the sheila kissinger comment that the woman ' opens like a peony' during childbirth. everyone is different