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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Colleague left me stranded in the snow

469 replies

pissedoffnurse101 · 02/03/2018 16:42

Work alongside a colleague, I currently have no car and have been one of the only few people to get into work with all this bad snow. Today, we got the go ahead to go home and she has dropped me off to the closest train station. There is one train showing up as running in the opposite direction, no staff here at the station and no one available to collect me.

AIBU to think she could have driven the 20 minutes to drop me home (she has a 4x4)???

OP posts:
NashvilleQueen · 02/03/2018 17:31

I can’t quite work out why your first thought is to ask on MN whether YABU. I would probably have sorted out how I was getting home and perhaps asked later on rather than waste valuable time and phone battery life asking the internet what they think of your colleague.

Cheekyandfreaky · 02/03/2018 17:32

Are all drivers of 4x4s free taxis now? I may commandeer a few of my neighbours soon.

OP sympathy I have but also you are being unreasonable. I forgive you though, this weather makes us all unreasonable. Hope you get home okay.

HopefullyAnonymous · 02/03/2018 17:34

It’s not her responsibility to get you home

Turquoise123 · 02/03/2018 17:36

She is under no obligation. It's not friendly of her but you making her make a 40 mins journey is a bit much

BewareOfDragons · 02/03/2018 17:36

OP seems to have disappeared...

Whatshallidonowpeople · 02/03/2018 17:38

How is it her responsibility? If it's such a short journey, get walking.

Nicknacky · 02/03/2018 17:38

To be fair she is probably trying to get home

Trendy1 · 02/03/2018 17:38

Let's hope she is concentrating on getting home in the snow, rather than mucking about on MN.

Sallystyle · 02/03/2018 17:38

So much more information is needed.

If she knew the trains weren't running then yes, I think she was unreasonable. I wouldn't just drop someone off knowing there were no trains. If I wasn't comfortable driving them any further I would make sure they could get a taxi or something before leaving them in the cold.

If she didn't know the trains weren't running, then the only one responsible for that is you, because you didn't check.

OhCalamity · 02/03/2018 17:38

So trains were cancelled due to poor weather conditions but you expect your colleague to
a) know a train timetable, even though she drives and would have no need for it;
b) know train cancellations even though she drives and would have no need for knowing this information;
c) offer to drive you and spend upward of about an hour driving in conditions so bad they stopped trains running.

Why didn't YOU check the train information and make sure there was a train running?

Lokisglowstickofdestiny · 02/03/2018 17:39

A 4x4 isn't a guaranteed safe trip home, plus you get trapped behind 2 wheeled and rear wheel drives that are struggling so you still end up going nowhere!

TerfsUp · 02/03/2018 17:40

YABU. She did not strand you: she took you to the train station.

Perendinate · 02/03/2018 17:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RestingBitchFaced · 02/03/2018 17:42

YABU it's not her responsibility to get you home

MadMags · 02/03/2018 17:43

OP, have you been buried in an avalanche?!

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad · 02/03/2018 17:47

I don't understand why someone would dump a colleague at a train station in the snow, expecting colleague to wait for a train that likely will be cancelled.

I'm with you on this Toby and am surprised at the responses on this thread - I grew up at a time and in a community where people looked out for one another - and no that doesn't mean dumping someone at the train station and clearing off without checking first to see if they could actually get a train home. That's what I'd call an 'I'm alright Jack' mentality - where one is unconcerned about any difficulties friends, colleagues or neighbours might have. It's basic humanity - making sure your mates are okay in adverse conditions - it would have been pretty obvious that the trains might not have been running and yet Mrs 4x4 clears off knowing that she was probably leaving her pal stranded. You stick around until your mates are out of trouble - you don't bugger off after doing the bare minimum.

I've driven miles out of my way to help friends out before now, given beds for the night and longer to stranded pals - and my friends have done the same for me. It's called mateship in Australia - I'm not Australian - but grew up in a part of the UK where everyone helped each other out. You'd have been given a hard time for pulling this trick.

SillyMoomin · 02/03/2018 17:48

You should have checked the trains were running before she dropped you off at the station. You’re clearly posting from a smart phone of some kind so you could have looked up the information

LeighaJ · 02/03/2018 17:48

I'm almost 33 weeks pregnant, the snow was coming down hard and blowing all over the place as we left work today. I didn't expect anyone to even drive me down to the unsheltered bus stop let alone go out of their way to drop me off at home which is the opposite direction of where most of them live.

So maybe just be happy she even bothered to take you to the train station as you sound very ungrateful.

londonrach · 02/03/2018 17:50

Yabu, she got you to the station which was kind of you. You really think she should pay for petrol and her time for 40 minutes to get you home. Taxi?

OliviaStabler · 02/03/2018 17:51

and no that doesn't mean dumping someone at the train station and clearing off without checking first to see if they could actually get a train home.

We don't know that is what has actually happened. I doubt the colleague dropped her at the station with no advance discussion. And anyway, what if the driver had to pick up kids or elderly relatives and couldn't take the OP home due to timings?

SparklyMagpie · 02/03/2018 17:54

MadMags Grin

extinctspecies · 02/03/2018 17:58

OP, hopefully you are home now & enjoying a nice glass of wine ofr cup of tea.

Lots of people wondering why you didn't check the trains were running first.

TrustNaeFuckerEver · 02/03/2018 17:59

Using the word "dumping" is rather unfair here.

What actually happened is that the OPs colleague gave her a lift to the station where she got out voluntarily. She wasn't kidnapped and thrown out of the car against her will.

OP either didn't check the trains were running (rookie err) or she did see there was only one train scheduled but decided to risk it anyway. None of this is the colleagues fault.

I can understand Toby getting riled about this because I remember them getting uptight that their friend's mother didn't offer them a lift when it was raining. There's a certain sense of entitlement in assuming that people who drive should provide free taxi services to those who don't.

You'll have to book a taxi or book into a hotel OP, same as anyone else in similar circumstances with no backup plan. Hope you stay safe, but please don't blame this on your colleague.

jacks11 · 02/03/2018 17:59

onemore

Firstly, she not a friend. She's a work colleague. I may do things to help a friend out that I wouldn't for a work colleague who I only vaguely know.

So you'd expect someone to put themselves in a dangerous situation to help you out? That 40 minute journey (20 minutes each way) could well take a lot longer in this weather. It could be dangerous, especially if the driver is not confident on snowy/icy roads (having a 4x4 does not make you a confident driver in these conditions). She might have been worried about her own ability to get home if a lot of time was added to her journey. On wednesday a journey which should take 45 minutes-1 hour, depending on traffic, took 2 1/4 hours. Had I left an hour later, I may not have got home at all and been stuck. I wouldn't have risked that, TBH. So if that "I'm alright' attitude, then I'm ok with that. I wouldn't expect someone to put themselves in danger or risk not getting home/having an accident for me.

Perhaps she has to get home for children or pets? Who knows. She may have a very good reason for not doing that drive,

Sallystyle · 02/03/2018 17:59

So maybe just be happy she even bothered to take you to the train station as you sound very ungrateful.

Grin

Yes OP. Be very grateful you are stranded in the snow at a train station.

I would have taken you home OP. I am scared of driving in this weather, but if I was driving anyway I would just have taken you all the way home.

I do hope you get home ok OP Thanks