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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Colleague left me stranded in the snow

469 replies

pissedoffnurse101 · 02/03/2018 16:42

Work alongside a colleague, I currently have no car and have been one of the only few people to get into work with all this bad snow. Today, we got the go ahead to go home and she has dropped me off to the closest train station. There is one train showing up as running in the opposite direction, no staff here at the station and no one available to collect me.

AIBU to think she could have driven the 20 minutes to drop me home (she has a 4x4)???

OP posts:
LexieLulu · 02/03/2018 18:38

You shouldn't really expect a coworker to go out of their way for you.

They already went out of their way taking you to a station, they didn't have to.

ButchyRestingFace · 02/03/2018 18:38

If the op isn’t single and has a partner (being PREGNANT and all) she should have phoned her partner and told them it was an emergency and asked for their assistance to get her home.

That assumes her partner could drive, has access to a car, or access to someone willing to set out to collect OP, etc?

We don't know how OP did get home in the end, whether she called the (potential) partner or the trains did in fact run.

Because if the train did come in the end, that would make OP even more unreasonable. Grin

Electricgobblers · 02/03/2018 18:39

How is it.irresponsible? The colleague likely had a family of her own to get home to - kids, parents, maybe she was just tired after driving all day in bad conditions and wanted to get home because she felt she wasn’t safe to drive any more. Maybe if she’s on a min wage job she couldn’t afford petrol or diesel of dead knows how much to take the op home in bad weather and not know how long it would take til she was at home herself.

Obligation my eye. She had no obligation to get the op home. She’s not the AA.

Electricgobblers · 02/03/2018 18:40

Partner could have organised a taxi from their end. Driven ifthey have a car. Got a friend or other family member to go to pick her up.

Partner is “invested” in the op. Colleague isn’t.

TrustNaeFuckerEver · 02/03/2018 18:42

@Dancingmonkey87

I think the OP does drive but mentioned she doesn't have a car at the moment.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 02/03/2018 18:43

Because this weather and mass cancellations happen about once every 10 years. It’s not a big ask for people to look out for each other in these situations and not leave them in potentially very dangerous situation. People are dying from being stranded in this weather. It’s not your average Friday night.

Oh & our local train station has a single bench seat with a glass canopy, it’s not going to keep anyone warm.

SingaSong12 · 02/03/2018 18:43

OP YABU - your colleague dropped you off at the station where as far as as they knew you could get a train home. You didn't ask them for a lift home.

YWNBU to be fuming at the train company/website for not keeping the information updated or being honest and saying they couldn't. If you hadn't been given false info you would presumably have planned your journey differently, maybe asked the colleague for a lift or left work early.

Electricgobblers · 02/03/2018 18:43

But how did the op think she was getting home when she set out for work this morning? It was snowy and cold then. She knew it was going to be snowy and cold this evening.

PuppyMonkey · 02/03/2018 18:43

She wasn’t to know the trains were going to be cancelled but TBF it would have been a pretty safe bet that they would be what with all the snow. I’d have probably waited to make sure you were ok before driving off.

Do you usually get on ok with her? Surprised at the way this all seems to have happened without a decent discussion on the situation.

How did you get home op?

ButchyRestingFace · 02/03/2018 18:44

Partner could have organised a taxi from their end.

OP could have organised a taxi from her end surely? Or did I miss the bit where her phone ran out of battery?

As to the rest, as I said, we don't know if the partner (assuming there is one) has a car, has access to a car, has access to people with a car willing to pick up the OP.

IMO, this one was on the OP to sort out. Which she obviously did in the end, notwithstanding the dramatics.

DalekDalekDalek · 02/03/2018 18:45

Yet another person expecting someone else to be a mind reader!

OP, how would you have felt if your colleague personal taxi driver had dropped you at home and then had an accident while on a road that she would only have been on because of you?

It took you an hour and a half to get home. If the weather is bad she might still not be home by now!

MyFavouriteChameleon · 02/03/2018 18:45

In no way the colleagues fault! She dropped you off, when you both thought you knew for sure your train was running. If she had stayed to make sure you got on it, surely that would have been a bit odd!? Unless you're 9 OP, and forgot to mention that Wink

HelenDenver · 02/03/2018 18:45

Annie, you are expecting of this colleague more foresight than the OP had for herself. The OP didn't ask her to wait!

ButchyRestingFace · 02/03/2018 18:46

She wasn’t to know the trains were going to be cancelled but TBF it would have been a pretty safe bet that they would be what with all the snow.

Not if the Trainline app is saying services have resumed. Before today, I would have thought it was a relatively safe bet that the app was accurate (at least to the tune of not claiming a full 12 hours worth of services that actually weren't running).

I'm using Scotrail's updates on Twitter for information now. Far more reliable than Thetrainline, it seems.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 02/03/2018 18:47

They already went out of their way taking you to a station, they didn't have to

They were on their last call. It’s part of the job to get the non driver of the day somewhere reasonable/agreed. It’s not ‘going out if their way’. It’s how it works when you need two staff out on calls.

HelenDenver · 02/03/2018 18:48

And - separately - people who get trains for work tend to have way more general awareness of potential issues, timetable apps etc than people who always drive. And why not? I would know nothing about traffic conditions at different times, shortcuts etc, because I commute by train.

GnotherGnu · 02/03/2018 18:48

I’m also pregnant so wouldn’t have left someone in this situation

You wouldn't drop someone at the station from which you believe they can get a train home and would drive at least 40 minutes out of your way just because they're pregnant? I assume you're not incapacitated by the pregnancy given that you have been at work? Why would you do that?

Bear in mind also that, given the weather, the likelihood is that she would in practice have had to do an hour's extra driving. How do you know she could afford to get home that late? Why would you expect it of her?

TheHolidayArmadillo · 02/03/2018 18:48

And the OP didn't object to being dropped at the station until she decided she'd been unceremoniously dumped when she realised she'd fucked up.

cheeseandbiscuitsplease · 02/03/2018 18:48

I think she could've taken you home.
Of course she could.
What's wrong with everyone on here!! It would've been a kind gesture.
I would've taken you.

HotelEuphoria · 02/03/2018 18:50

In 20 minutes I could drive 12 miles, so that's potentially a 25 mile round trip for her when you didn't check the trains were runnng?

Glumglowworm · 02/03/2018 18:51

Why should the colleague have realised the train app is likely to be unreliable in this weather, when the OP didn’t?

I’ve found twitter to be the most reliable source of up to date info this week, it takes time to get automatic systems updated with all the changes, especially if they’re changed several times (my trains today were initially changed to hourly, then were cancelled until lunchtime, then cancelled altogether all day). Although there’s still idiots responding to tweets saying “all trains/buses cancelled all day” with “is the x train from x place running?” That would be a no because there’s NO trains running.

OP I’m glad you got home safely, but next time there’s bad weather you need to plan better and make a back up plan. Preferably neither should involve assuming your colleague will offer to drive potentially hours out of their way to drop you home.

Ilikecheesycrackers · 02/03/2018 18:51

I walked to work yesterday as all public transport was cancelled (red zone).... 90 minute walk. The day before I spoke to someone whose usual 20minute journey took two and a half hours by car.

I would have thought myself very unreasonable if I had expected a colleague to give me a run home in their car. I would not want them to put themselves at risk.

It's difficult to know who is being unreasonable here as every situation is different though.

JeNeBaguetteRien · 02/03/2018 18:51

YABU OP.
I walked to work yesterday, the snow got worse and we closed early. My colleague left to walk home. I offered to get her a taxi but she was all wrapped up and wanted to walk.
My husband rang soon after to say he'd collect me, I asked if we could drop her home too and rang her but no answer.
It took us an hour and a half to get home in the car! It is a half hour walk in normal conditions.
We were stuck behind other cars that couldn't get up hills, and stuck waiting to get onto roundabouts that were blocked by selfish and/or stupid people.
We saw a driver risk the lives of teenagers by asking them to push him up a hill then skidded back into them.
I wouldn't ask a colleague to risk their safety to drive me home, a taxi driver at least is paid to make the choice.
It seems you did get home reasonably soon after you posted. I hope you can stay there now until the worst of the weather passes.

desertmum · 02/03/2018 18:51

You don't have to travel by train to know most of them are being cancelled in this weather. I am amazed at people on here - I would have offered you a lift home in this weather. Am so glad that where we are everyone is helping out.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 02/03/2018 18:51

Helen

You said Annie, you are expecting of this colleague more foresight than the OP had for herself. The OP didn't ask her to wait!

Frankly, I’d have expected both of them to have more fucking sense!

But if I was driving I wouldn’t have needed to be asked to wait to make sure the trains were running and my colleague was safely on one. Well, actually, I’d have driven her home.