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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Colleague left me stranded in the snow

469 replies

pissedoffnurse101 · 02/03/2018 16:42

Work alongside a colleague, I currently have no car and have been one of the only few people to get into work with all this bad snow. Today, we got the go ahead to go home and she has dropped me off to the closest train station. There is one train showing up as running in the opposite direction, no staff here at the station and no one available to collect me.

AIBU to think she could have driven the 20 minutes to drop me home (she has a 4x4)???

OP posts:
Glumglowworm · 02/03/2018 17:05

Absolutely your responsibility to check the trains are running before asking her to drop you to the station. Why on Earth didn’t you?

20 minutes (so 40 minute round trip for her) to your house is a big ask in this weather tbh.

Yesterday I made it to work and kept a close eye on the train company’s website and twitter for updates, and would’ve left at the first hint of problems. And I knew the buses usually keep going longer than the trains so that was my back up option.

Next time, if you can’t get to AND FROM work safely, don’t go in.

Mummyoflittledragon · 02/03/2018 17:06

Clarification : the situation sounds rubbish. Not being left by colleague.

EB123 · 02/03/2018 17:06

You should have checked the trains were running!

Either get a taxi or if not possible get the train in the opposite station qnd get off at can station where you can get a bus/taxi home.

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece · 02/03/2018 17:07

Surely this is a reverse?!

zzzzz · 02/03/2018 17:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tobythecat · 02/03/2018 17:08

I think people are getting more and more spiteful and selfish. I don't understand why someone would dump a colleague at a train station in the snow, expecting colleague to wait for a train that likely will be cancelled. How spiteful. People are so mean spirited and don't want to inconvenience themselves in the slightest. I just don't understand people like this, and I wouldn't want them around me. It's basic human kindness and decency, if you are at an advantage, use it to help others. Obviously, OP should offer petrol or lunch etc.

TheJoyOfSox · 02/03/2018 17:09

Sorry, but you’re a grown up and it’s your responsibility to check trains, organise yourself, get home.

It’s not your colleagues job to add a couple of hours (that’s what a 40 minutes round journey will take today) .

ScarlettDarling · 02/03/2018 17:10

You need to ring the train providers and ask if there are going to be any more trains. If not, ring a taxi or start walking. Your colleague might have been very anxious to get home- driving in the snow makes me very anxious- and another hour added onto her journey in this weather is a big ask.

jacks11 · 02/03/2018 17:10

That depends, I think we need more information to decide whether you've got a right to feel annoyed.

She took you to the station- presumably at your request- how was she supposed to know the train wasn't running? Or did she come in with you, see there were no trains and then go? Did you ask her to wait whilst you checked the trains, but she refused? Because whether she is being unkind really depends on whether she knew about the trains.

Also, 20 minute each way is 40 minutes extra drive. Depending on road conditions, that extra time on the road may be putting her at risk. For instance, if it were still snowing and the road conditions worsening then that extra time in addition to her own commute may be making her worried about her own ability to get home. In that situation, I don't think it is unreasonable to not want to do the extra drive. Though she would have been better to say that before you left work, giving you the opportunity to arrange alternative transport, or order a taxi.

Nicknacky · 02/03/2018 17:10

If it’s bad enough that the trains are cancelled then the driver may not have wanted to drive in the conditions. Their safety could be compromised. Or maybe they had kids to pick up etc?

Basic human kindness doesn’t over ride everything else.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 02/03/2018 17:11

Whether or not your colleague was right, you have to find solutions to your problem.
Will the train in the other direction get you somewhere where you can be picked up / get a taxi / get alternative transport?

Can you get a taxi from where you are?

DonttouchthatLarry · 02/03/2018 17:12

I wouldn't fancy an extra 40 minute round trip in this weather - one of my colleagues lives 15 mins from work (normally) but last night it took her 2 hours to get home. If that had been your journey it could have taken your colleague 4 hours to give you a '20 minute' lift.

If she hadn't taken you to the station how were you planning to get home?

NancyClips · 02/03/2018 17:13

Did you ask her?

I keep seeing threads where people expect people to know what they want without actually asking.

Poster wants to stay with her parents... Did she ask them? No.
Poster wants neighbor to clear her path... Did she ask them? No.

If you want something then ask.

HobnobBob · 02/03/2018 17:14

How did you get in this morning? Did you not have a conversation about where she would drop you?

Appuskidu · 02/03/2018 17:15

I don't understand why someone would dump a colleague at a train station in the snow, expecting colleague to wait for a train that likely will be cancelled

Maybe the kind and helpful (NOT spiteful!) person that took OP to the station was actually asked by OP to take her there!? In that case, it’s hardly being dumped.Confused

Maybe she presumed the OP was sensible enough to check the trains beforehand-that wasn’t for the colleague to organise or research!

We won’t know though, will we-if OP doesn’t come back and answer some questions!

Witchend · 02/03/2018 17:17

A usually 20 minute journey on Tuesday was for me 90 minutes of very bad driving conditions. I nearly abandoned the car and walked.
But it would not have been 20 minutes for her unless she's your neighbour. I assume she doesn't live next to the station either, she has to then get home from there. So 40 minute driving on a normal day. Or 3 hours for me on Tuesday.

Viviennemary · 02/03/2018 17:21

Well I suppose she could have run you home but I don't think you can expect it as a right. You could get a taxi back if there's no trains running. Forty minutes extra drive is quite a lot to expect IMHO.

GrandTheftWalrus · 02/03/2018 17:22

Don't see the OP coming back.

Springtrolls · 02/03/2018 17:22

Why didn’t you check the train situation beforehand?
Surely you do this regularly anyway regardless of weather beciase of line issues etc.

mrsm43s · 02/03/2018 17:22

It is your responsibility to get yourself to and from work.

Your colleague was very kind to give you a lift to the nearest station.

You are very selfish to expect her to drive for what may well end up being hours out of her way in treacherous conditions for your convenience. That expectation is very unreasonable.

PoohBearsHole · 02/03/2018 17:23

having a 4x4 does not make you immune to dangerous weather or ice on the road. it doesn’t make you a confident driver in the snow. it undoubtably helps to get from A-B but her 40 mins in your eyes could have added an accident for you both, or being stranded in the car. perhaps she didn’t want the responsibility of driving someone else in bad weather and the consequences that could occur.

did you ask?

did you look at the train info before leaving?

she dropped you at public transport in the snow so you didn’t have to walk. that was pretty nice but she probably isn’t a mine reader or the main informant for all trains in the local are :)

Electricgobblers · 02/03/2018 17:25

You wanted her to go miles out of her way? Just because she has a 4x4 she’s your personal taxis service?

LIZS · 02/03/2018 17:25

To where did you ask for or were offered a lift? Did you assume trains would be running or had you checked ahead? How had you planned to get home? Presumably you could call a cab.

Electricgobblers · 02/03/2018 17:27

How did you get in?

Butteredparsn1ps · 02/03/2018 17:31

Is this a reverse?

Unless there is a crucial detail or two that you have left out, no SINBU.

Oh and I’ve been stuck in the snow in a land rover in the past, because other cars were sliding down the hill towards me. 4x4 doesn’t equal invincible.