Colleague left me stranded in the snow

[pissedoffnurse101]

Work alongside a colleague, I currently have no car and have been one of the only few people to get into work with all this bad snow. Today, we got the go ahead to go home and she has dropped me off to the closest train station. There is one train showing up as running in the opposite direction, no staff here at the station and no one available to collect me.

AIBU to think she could have driven the 20 minutes to drop me home (she has a 4x4)???

Waiting to see whether the train was actually coming in the extreme conditions we've been having recently is not martyrish at all. Just sensible.

Yeah, if the OP had asked her to wait to see if the train would arrive first. Someone who doesn't take trains, and who had been told by the regular train taker that it was fine isn't at fault for not second guessing the information they've been given by what should be a reliable source. It's whataboutery and pointless.

"Is that youuuuuuuuu, OP's 4x4 driving colleague?"

I wish, I can't drive

But the colleague doesn't have to wait With her. And if she is waiting it means if something is wrong she is then responsible for the OP. Which she isnt. Colleague has a life too.

I'm awfully sorry, but YABU.
In this weather traffic is horrendous. Yesterday to do a journey that would usually take an hour to an hour and a half-hour absolute tops, it took us just under FIVE hours. That was because of absolute shit loads of traffic. Loads and loads and loads.
Most of the time we would go out of our way to help others, and we did yesterday, we parked up on grass verges to both get out and give a few people pushes when they couldn't get any traction.

On our way home last night a 20 minute drive took us an hour and twenty minutes. We only made it because a very kind man towed us up a hill.

Please do not think that just because she has a 4x4 it's going to be easy for her to get about. It has to be her choice whether to help you or not, if a car was to plough into her I'm sure you wouldn't pay the excess on her insurance.

I do mean to say this as kindly as possible, but you cannot pin this on her. She was being kind to have given you a lift to the train station, let's hope she doesn't see this, because if she does she may never offer even a lift to the train station again

OP. I'd complain to Trainline, personally. Clearly an app that doesn't survive the snow.

Ditto trains not surviving - like the poor sods in two trains stuck in south-west Hampshire overnight, one of them with no heating, food or working loos. Or the drivers (even with 4WD) stuck for 8 hours on one Hampshire road. Worse elsewhere and in Scotland.

But as for calling a taxi - even in London (home of the black cab and Uber) many weren't responding if you weren't on a gritted road, eg, most side streets.

I think that the OP is long gone!

Where was your dh ? Couldn't he come and get you?

The amazingly altruistic and selfless attitude that some people on here have when offering things online surprises me. I wonder if they are really so perfect in their everyday life

You are being deliberately obtuse - it has nothing to do with being perfect - it's about caring about your fellow (wo)man. In that situation you say "hey pissedoffnurse101 - the trains could be a nightmare tonight with the weather and all - just check they're okay before I head off' and then when pissedoffnurse101returns to your car and says trains are a mess you say 'no worries pissedoffnurse101 hop back in and I'll drive you home - can't have you stranded on a night like this' and then you drive pissedoffnurse101 home. Big wow. If you have to rush off for children/ pets/ sick granny- then you say 'Hey pissedoffnurse101 I'm so sorry I'd drive you home but I have to get back for the kids/ pets/ sick granny - but I'm really short of time - can I drop you anywhere on the way or do you ant to come back to mine and we can arrange for your DH/ DF/ DM/ Dsis or a cab to get you home safely'

No way would I have have left a young woman at a train station - pregnant or not - and driven off in my cosy 4x4 - when there was a very real risk her train wouldn't be running. It seems though that I'm in the minority.

We have a young man staying with us in our home at the moment because if he wasn't he'd be on the streets homeless - he just got a new job and given a bike to get himself there. When the snow started falling I insisted that I drive him because conditions would have been treacherous on a bike. He's astonished that I do this and says he has never had anyone do anything like this for him before - to me it's just.. well .. normal. It's what people (who I know in real life anyway) do and I'd be ashamed if anything happened to him because I couldn't be arsed to add an extra 30 mins to my day in order to help out a fellow human being.

It's about community, it's about society, it's about putting yourself out for the benefit of others. It really isn't a big deal and has absolutely nothing to do with being perfect.

It's about community, it's about society, it's about putting yourself out for the benefit of others.

Ok.

But, do you believe that some people are cheeky fuckers? There are plenty of people on here who post about those, eg this week’s post about a neighbour who asked an OP for a lift to the shops in the snow. Most people agreed with the OP for saying no.

The line between ‘community’ and CF will be different for different people.

Some might think the OP’s colleague should give her a lift next week 40+ minutes out of her way if it’s pissing it down with rain, or the week after if there are leaves on the train lines causing delays. Or the week after, if it snows again. Others might say no and feel it’s taking the piss.

The issue I have with this OP, is that she is blaming her colleague for leaving her ‘stranded’ when SHE told the driver to drop her at the station and SHE told the driver that the trains were running.

Had the OP said-the trains might not run due to the weather (I’m presuming the OP knows more about the trains than the driver as that’s how she’s normally gets home) and asked if the driver would allow her to come back to her house where she could ring someone/a cab to collect her from thereand the driver said-‘no, get stuffed, I’m leaving you at the train station no matter what’s happening with the trains’, then I could understand her feeling stranded.

But, that’s not what happened. None of of this is the driver’s fault. The OP telepathically wanted a lift massively out of the driver’s way.

You are being deliberately obtuse - it has nothing to do with being perfect - it's about caring about your fellow (wo)man. In that situation you say "hey pissedoffnurse101 - the trains could be a nightmare tonight with the weather and all - just check they're okay before I head off'

You're being deliberately obtuse.

Pissedoffnurse101 replies, "The app says the train will be here soon. Thanks for driving me around in this awful weather!"

And off you trot.

Maybe she just doesn't like you much, OP. It is easier to be kind to someone when you like them. If she lives only 5 mins away from work, you should have made your own arrangement.

I agree with you OP since you are pregnant. As I would have worried you might have slipped. But in ordinary circumstances the drop at the station would be reasonable imo

She could have left you to walk to the station...

Maybe she just doesn't like you much, OP.

I don't like the OP much either, she comes across as a bit of a "me me me" idiot......

As the OP puts herself out most days for the Colleague I think the least the colleague could do is run her home at the end of a day when the weather is really bad or make sure she has a train home.

She doesn’t put herself out. She gets herself to work.

ahem. Get a taxi.

onemorecupofcoffee - you did a very nice thing. However, my cynical side says that next week, when it's raining buckets and really shit weather - this person will be expecting a lift. And then again the following week. And before you know it, you have a CF on your hands, which is very difficult to get out of/say 'no' to. Not always, but this is how it starts.

Lol at the people in this thread who don’t drive but are sure they would have driven everyone and their cat home in their magical never gets stuck 4x4 if only they weren’t too much a nervous driver to pass their test. - totally. Like driving on an icy, slippery road doesn't make one nervous. You would be totally fine! Can;t drive on a dry straight road, but gimme an icerink and of course I'd drive anyone anywhere! IF I could drive....

Going against the grain here but I think YANBU. Years ago I was working with someone who got the bus to work when snow set in and we were sent home. I offered to give her a lift home, normally 10 mins out of my way probably added an hour due to having to go away from main roads, it was v slippy in places. She offered to walk from one point but I was happy to see her home. I’m not an especially generous person, it just seemed what anyone would do. Some people have a weird attitude to kindness on here.

Colleague's probably had several days of a bellyful of OP whining, attention-seeking and making unreasonable demands. She is not OP's chauffeur, or her mum, and is under no obligation to ensure that a grown adult gets home safely.

Anyway you weren't stranded- you were at a station. With a phone.

As many have said we don’t know about colleagues commitments, I had to collect DD early on Thurs due to weather and a normally 20min drive was a hellishly stressful 2 hours. Colleague may have had to collect kids etc.

I also agree that for someone who had a car accident 2 weeks ago and had been driving all day in awful conditions she must have been exhausted and dying to get home.

All that aside from what we can see the OP didn’t ask for a lift home or for colleague to wait and see if the trains were running. The poor woman isn’t a mind reader.

YABU. Sorry