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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour wants me to take her to shops.

228 replies

SugarPlumLairy · 01/03/2018 07:35

So... school is closed, our road got gritted two days ago but it seems to have all gone with yesterday's snow, so now so we're all properly snowed in and iced up with an amber warning for further snow.

Just let dog into garden (we are not going to park in this weather!) and NDN has popped out and said she really needs to go shop and can I take her? Now.

Her husband drives, not sure if he has gone to work as trains have been disrupted, we aren't far from shops, normally I will drop her off but..... in THIS weather? I feel awful for saying no but don't fancy slipping/sliding past the double parked cars for a loaf of bread (ok prob a bit more than a loaf).

AIBU, I mumbled no sorry and at that point dog shot back in having had the world's fastest pee, she didn't say anything just looked shocked/upset ? And I'm holed up watching the snow still coming down and feeling like evil cow for resigning NDN to slow cold death by starvation as I wouldn't take her to shops 🙄😱

So am I Evil Monster (EM) or is she CF ?

OP posts:
StressedOut1701 · 01/03/2018 07:37

YANBU. I would of asked what she needed and seen if inhad any to spare i.e. milk, bread etc.

UserThenLotsOfNumbers · 01/03/2018 07:37

More questions than answers.
Did she literally say take me now?
Is she elderly?
How far are the shops?

AdalindSchade · 01/03/2018 07:37

Is she elderly? Is she expecting you to drive?
If the shop is walking distance and she needs your help to stay steady then YABU but if she's expecting you to drive then YANBU of course

ChasedByBees · 01/03/2018 07:38

Did she want you to drive there? If you don’t feel it’s safe to drive then no, YANBU. Doesn’t necessarily mean she’s a CF either though.

Is she particularly vulnerable? You could ask if there’s anything she specifically needed if you have anything spare (like some milk for example, not talking all then ingredients for a roast here).

Bitchywaitress · 01/03/2018 07:38

I wouldn't want to drive in this weather! However, before we can assess level of U or CF how long would it take her to walk to the shop?

PanPanPanPing · 01/03/2018 07:38

Perhaps she asked on the off chance that you might be going to the shops anyway, so maybe she isn't a CF. And, no, I don't think you're and EM either!

Lalalaleah · 01/03/2018 07:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HuskyMcClusky · 01/03/2018 07:39

I’m a bit surprised you didn’t ask if it was urgent. She might have needed a prescription filled or something.

OccasionalNachos · 01/03/2018 07:39

YANBU. Perhaps go and see what she needs and give her some milk etc if she needs it, but don’t drive!

isthismummy · 01/03/2018 07:39

I think you were being U to just say no without asking further about why she needs your help. Is NDN elderly?

Asking your NDN for help in extreme weather does not make you a CF. Have we really gotten to such a stage where people think it doesSad

whyismykid · 01/03/2018 07:40

Just nip round and say you don’t think it’s safe to drive in this weather (completely agree with you!) and see if you can Lend / give her what she needs.

HuskyMcClusky · 01/03/2018 07:40

My thoughts too, isthis.

TheCatsMother44 · 01/03/2018 07:41

YANBU to say no, you're not your neighbours carer and there's an amber alert on for the weather - it's dangerous out there.

She has a husband who can bring food home after work, I doubt she will starve in the meantime.

greenlynx · 01/03/2018 07:41

She is CF. I wouldn't drive in these conditions . Her request is a little bit strange. Is she an elderly lonely lady?

maddiemookins16mum · 01/03/2018 07:42

I'd probably feel the same to be honest. Unless she/her husband are elderly/infirm then they'll survive. I gave a loaf/2 pint of milk/some cat food Fluffball Mookins wont eat to our neighbour 3 doors down yesterday as she won't go out in the snow as it's too icy and she uses a stick but I'm lucky we have a 30 year old chest freezer in the garage with at least 4 large (4 pinters) and 3 loaves of bread in it (and Christmas Tree crumpets).

snewsname · 01/03/2018 07:42

Agree, help her with a bit of milk or whatever to tide her over till her husband gets back. Don't drive though.

Vitalogy · 01/03/2018 07:42

I think I'd say I wouldn't like to risk the drive in this weather but ask her if there was any supplies I could offer.

ilovesooty · 01/03/2018 07:43

Understandable to refuse but I think it would be kind to see if she needs anything you can spare.

Rachie1973 · 01/03/2018 07:43

whyismykid
Just nip round and say you don’t think it’s safe to drive in this weather (completely agree with you!) and see if you can Lend / give her what she needs.

I'd go with this

londonrach · 01/03/2018 07:45

Pop around and ask what she needs if elderly and give her some milk or bread if you spare. Explain not safe to drive. Im looking outside thinkimg the same. Weve a playdate which i cancelled yesterday due to a delivery and the snow. Thinking of cancelling again. Also was hoping to go to rhyme time but this weather..no way. Yanbu either is her. Mn i need ideas what to do with an 19 month old insteadwith no safe outdoor space!

FrancisCrawford · 01/03/2018 07:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dancinggoat · 01/03/2018 07:49

Her husband works !!!
If he's home he can go. If he's in work he can go on the way home.

HuskyMcClusky · 01/03/2018 07:51

Maybe it’s something she needs before her husband gets home?

We can’t possibly know, as the OP didn’t wait to find out before shooting back inside.

Appuskidu · 01/03/2018 07:52

OP-are you going to give any more details?

From what you’ve given, I would say CF, but ...

NoqontroI · 01/03/2018 07:53

Why don't you ask her what it is she needs in case you can help? It would be a nice thing to do.