Smug young homeowners from the Bank of Mum and Dad

[LittleMissUnreasonable]

AIBU unreasonable to find it very irritating when young couples/young people manage to buy their first home early and spout the whole
"We worked so hard to save
"We deserve it "
"We didn't want to rent anymore"
"I can't believe some people still rent"
"We've got loads saved up for a house deposit "

Which is all fine...until you realise the house deposit it was 'gifted' by parents. Again that's fine

I just think it's irritating that entitled trust fund 20-somethings looking down on renters for not yet being on the property ladder yet fail to mention most of their deposit was from the Bank of Mum and Dad.

Not everyone can have that privilege and it's unfair to look down on those without

Oh god it’s annoying. There was one recently where the woman in her early 20s had saved up “singlehandedly”. Except she was living at home with her parents rent free so therefore saving a shedload doing that alone. As someone who started paying keep at 16 and kept it up till I left Home at 19 it felt like a massive pisstake.

I don't know anyone who says things like that- so people are lying about working for a deposit when their parents have given it to them? I know a lot of people who will admit they're very lucky to have had help from family but don't know anyone who lies about it.

SiL was recently given the family home as she cannot afford her own! His parent's logic was that we have a house so we don't need to inherit. We have a house with a massive mortgage- we sacrificed by not taking holidays, our car is 15 years old and we both buy clothes from charity shops. DH also takes second jobs in his holidays. SiL gets a new car EVERY YEAR, takes 2 or 3 overseas holidays every year and goes out at least twice a week to eat and drink, of course she can't afford to buy a bloody house with that lifestyle. DH was going to boycott his families christmas celebrations last year in protest, the house has been in the family for many many years and it was agreed upon to divide it equally amongst the children by the parents many years ago. The first we knew about the change in ownership was when his sister asked him if he was annoyed about it, as she was.

It is harder, 100% mortgage seem gone, 0% mortgage from employers a thing of the past! and prices have rocketed.

but it is also true that many people planning on buying really look down on the shit hole place we first bought. I have a big-ish house now, but my very first place was in an unwelcoming area, grim, unfurnished and stayed that way for quite some time.

I am amazed by some first time buyers going straight to new build in my area, then complain that they are priced out.
New build are lovely, but have a huge premium

www.theatlantic.com/amp/article/383676/

Everyone I know who has had their deposit paid for by parents acknowledge how lucky they are. But I do have friends well into their late 30s whose houses, furniture, home improvements and holidays are funded by their parents. I do get jealous sometimes because me and dp are not bank rolled in this way and we work longer hours than most friends to pay for these kind of things ourselves.

Dh lost his dad who owned 3 properties, him and his brother sold them, enabling us to buy our house outright with no mortgage, we feel very lucky

I neither know nor care where anyone got money from to do anything in their lives. It doesn't affect me in the slightest, regardless of who gave it to them - why does this matter so much to people?

Smile and nod is all thats required

I was a 21 year old who bought.

I did it with no help from anyone.

I saved 4k of student loans by working as a cleaner, in a bar, as a waitress during school and uni.

I used that 4k as 10% deposit on a 41k two bed flat in a northern student town.

My friends all thought i was mad “tying myself down” with a mortgage so young. I figured i could rent it if i moved, or wanted to travel etc.

We got to our late 20’s and i’d sold and bought a house. My friends were all thinking about or getting married, and moaning that they couldn’t afford a house with a garden for their future kids to play in. They complained they were stuck renting- when i pointed out they could afford a flat like the one i started with it wasn’t suitable for married life.

Suddenly i was the “lucky” one buying straight from uni and getting on the property ladder.

I’m now in my 50’s and mortgage free. Again other people tell me i’m “lucky” or assume i’ve inherited.

I have done nothing that couldn’t be done by any of them.

The word "gifted" has a technical legal/financial meaning in this context.

The mortgage lender refers to "gifted deposit" meaning the parents have signed documentation confirming they don't want it back. It's called "signing a gift letter".

Anyhoo...my parents gave me my deposit but I still had to pay 1/2 of my net salary on the mortgage for the first few years when I was still earning not much. It's only now, 10 years later that I'm more comfortable financially and can do it up a bit as well as make proper inroads into the mortgage.

I'm a conveyancing solicitor and can honestly say that practically everyone buying for the first time has significant help from their parents.

Sometimes even couples (with young children of their own) are upsizing to a bigger house and tens of thousands are being pumped in by their parents, so the children's grandparents.

When someone is buying with money they've saved themselves, it's usually "only" about £5-10k meaning they have a bigger % mortgage eg 90-95% and therefore pay higher interest rates. (3% vs 1%)

I bought at 25 in outer London. I was earning less than 30,000 per year at the time. DP, same age, earned a bit more than me. We were renting privately before that. A lot of people assume we were given a deposit by parents. We weren’t given a penny by anyone. DP had been quite lucky to go into a fairly good job at 18 and was saving a fair bit whilst I was still at uni. I went into teaching after uni on a reasonable salary and we saved like mad for a few years to build a deposit. It is definitely harder to buy now but it isn’t impossible. We’re only early 30s now so this wasn’t long ago.
I get what the OP is saying about people not acknowledging th I’d good fortune but I also find it irritating when people I know who frittered away their trust fund in their 20s moan about how impossible it is to buy a house and how lucky I am. I didn’t have a trust fund, my parents couldn’t have afforded to give me thousands of pounds even if they’d wanted to.

reallyanotherone

That's not actually what the OP is complaining about though.

41,000 seems a lot for 2 bed flat in the north 30 years ago as an aside.

My DF put 5k towards a deposit when I was looking to get on the property ladder, with the proviso that after 10 years he would get the deposit + any pro rata increase in the value of the property back. That day has now come and I will pay him 9.5k next month. A good deal for all parties.

My dad bought my house outright for me. I’m very lucky.

I don’t advertise this to people in my life and I don’t brag that I’m mortgage free. I also don’t judge those who rent.

YANBU. I don't know anyone who bought their own property single-handedly. No one even pretends they have any more - I'm in London.

We have had no help from anyone. Both self supporting since 18. But throughout my life I have met people who underplay their advantages from family. And my partners mum died young. Plenty of people lose parents young and get no finances.

@ChickenVindaloo2

Whereabouts are most of your first time buyers buying with all this generous help?

A lot of people get money more easily than others. They might marry a high earning partner or inherit money. Good luck to them.

I neither know nor care where anyone got money from to do anything in their lives. It doesn't affect me in the slightest, regardless of who gave it to them - why does this matter so much to people

^^this!

Comparison is the thief of joy!

We bought our first flat with no help, but were fortunate to be buying in the 80’s when mortgages were easier to obtain.
We helped our children with Uni rent, but one had £3k pa fees and the other £9k, so their loans are disproportionate considering we gave then the same towards rent/living costs.
I wish we could give them a deposit, but if they are lucky and we don’t need dementia care they may inherit something one day. DS is earning well and saving hard as well as paying extortionate London rent, so hopefully he will get a mortgage before he is 30.

It’s worse when a toxic relative gets your terminal ill Mum to change their will to leave everything to them and their partner. They then sell family home to buy somewhere out right whilst you are left homeless.

But I’m glad because all that I now have is through hard work. So what I’m renting- I’m not homeless! And I don’t owe anything to anyone.

(Sorry for the rant)

I bought my own house at 24. Unfortunately I inherited my deposit because both my grandparents died in quick succession which was absolutely awful.

I wouldn't ever pretend it was something I worked for. I certainly have worked hard to pay the mortgage though!

DH and I were 20 and 19 when we bought our house with a 95% mortgage "We worked so hard to save” yes we did! We were both still paying rent to our parents, his £150pm mine was more than my half of the mortgage payment! (One third gross pay)
"We deserve it " I don’t see why we didn’t
"We didn't want to rent anymore" or didn’t want to pay exorbitant rent to my parents
"We've got loads saved up for a house deposit " we did! All savings, no inheritance. I inherited £300 from my aunt about 12 years after we bought the house and DH inherited £2000 about 3 years after that.

We had no handouts or gifts from anyone to help us at any point but did work hard and were mortgage free after 25 years - still not anticipating any inheritances.....

@JoJo - Edinburgh