Smug young homeowners from the Bank of Mum and Dad

[LittleMissUnreasonable]

AIBU unreasonable to find it very irritating when young couples/young people manage to buy their first home early and spout the whole
"We worked so hard to save
"We deserve it "
"We didn't want to rent anymore"
"I can't believe some people still rent"
"We've got loads saved up for a house deposit "

Which is all fine...until you realise the house deposit it was 'gifted' by parents. Again that's fine

I just think it's irritating that entitled trust fund 20-somethings looking down on renters for not yet being on the property ladder yet fail to mention most of their deposit was from the Bank of Mum and Dad.

Not everyone can have that privilege and it's unfair to look down on those without

I must say though tha home ownership isn't everything.

Some of the posts on here suggest that the posters have given up literally everything aside from the absolute basics, for decades on end, and put thier children through that too, in order to own a house outright (by which I mean having paid off the mortgage) in late middle age.

I'm not religious, but if I were I'd ask what report you'd give of your life at the pearly gates "I had an utterly miserable life, I saw nothing of the world and had very little pleasure, but I did buy a house" is a bit disappointing.

Getting the most out of life has very little to do with owning something.

Some people sound utterly miserable, as though they have forgone all life has to offer, sacrificed not only for themselves but life enhancing experiences their children could have had, all on the alter of owning bricks and mortar eventually.

evelyn no it certainly isn’t everything I do agree. And if it comes at the price of being utterly miserable for your entire life then it’s probably not worth it no.

But whilst it’s not the be all and end all, it is preferable if you want somewhere to live in old age, and do not want to become dependent on your children or thrown to the mercy of the state.

Basin if that's the reason then the logical thing to do is buy a practical one bed ground floor flat close to shops and services and rent it out til you reach old age. No need to buy a 3 bed semi or whatever. Nobody needs that in old age and it's often highly impractical.

You are also assuming that “enjoying life “ means very expensive hobbies such as going out and getting drunk every night of the week or spending a fortune on designer clothes, cars and gadgets.

Many people enjoy life a great deal doing things that don’t cost lot of money. So they can still save something for their kids.

Consumer culture promotes just one version of a happy and fulfilled life.

I am a self-confessed 'home bird'! I've lived in some lovely parts of England and have enjoyed owning my own home far more than I would have enjoyed renting. The freedom to do what I liked, within planning consents etc, has been a massive plus, and when renting between house moves I've always felt to be in a straightjacket. So, not having holidays on an annual basis, is not a problem, nor are the absences of expensive hobbies and pursuits, but when I close the gate on my present home and stand in an almost secluded garden alongside a modern (modest) built house, warm as toast and draught free, I feel to be the winner hands down. But everyone to his/her own, what makes you happiest must surely be the way to go, and if you are an ordinary soul, no silver spoons or inheritances, the trade-off has to be money consuming unnecessaries. And, after I have gone the children get a bonus to do with as they think fit.
I'd bet on them blowing it, but who knows?

No I'm not S0phia - 2here did I say anything about getting drunk? Some posters sound absolute miserable martyrs to home ownership. If it gives you joy that's wonderful, but some posts are absolutely joyless tails of frugal self denial in the name of owning a home outright by 50.

Perfectly likely your kids won't get a nice bonus if you do live to old age - live long enough and it'll all go on care home fees or you'll outlive your kids (loads of people in care homes have done).

Home ownership gives people pleasure and a sense of security and that's lovely for them. Some people on the thread seem to invest it with more certain, rock solid intrinsic value than it has in reality though!

I specifically said getting the most out of life isn't about owning things. How anyone can read consumer culture into that is baffling.

I generally find that people who bang on anout others not having a good time / knowing how to enjoy themselves / being miserable generally have a their own Idea of what A Good Time is.

Usually it involves getting drunk a lot, spending a vast amount on altering their bodies ( fake tan, nails, implants, plastic surgery ) , shopping as a leisure acitivty, wearing designer clothing, and going on expensive overseas holidays where they also get drunk a lot.

Which is their choice - their money.

I find their sneering at others for being “ boring “ and unhappy a bit annoying. They don’t seem to understand that not everyone envies their lifestyle .

Do you S0phia ?

My post was triggered by the utterly miserable, martyred tone of some of the posts, full of all the holidays and experiences they and their families haven't had, sacrificed on the alter of owning bricks and mortar, on thread, not a prescriptive idea of what a good time equates to.

I do find your post judgemental and ridiculous - I don't think I know anyone who has fake tans or has had plastic surgery or goes out to get drunk or goes on holiday to get drunk. Your opinions must be formed by the company you keep.

Is that you, MIL?

Your MIL goes out gets drunk every night and has implants? Or your MIL replies to MN threads based on what she's read on that thread and doesn't know anyone who gets fake fans and has cosmetic surgery? I'm not sure what your point is except that you have a chip on your shoulder!