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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be bit upset re how close friend asked for money back?

267 replies

Moneyissue2 · 27/02/2018 22:03

Debt one: From last August. Money lent for clothes for a certain type of event. Agreed I’d pay back £50 a month until full £245 covered.
I’ve only paid £150 of this back so far and know this is wrong.

Debt two: £250, friend lent bank card sometime during January when times were particularly tight just after Christmas. No limit on spending and no agreed time frame when to pay back but I had every intention of doing so as soon as I had been told how much I owed. On the 17th feb I was told the amount, £250 and intended to pay on pay day this month.

I spent almost 300 on friend for Christmas and about the same again on my immediate family so was a bit short during jan. Friend really wanted to go on a mini break to which I said no as I simply couldn’t afford it. Friend, for reasons I won’t go into really wanted to go it was a celebration of a major happening in his life. He insisted we went and that he would pay. (This is a story in itself, I really did say no numerous times and we even argued as I really, really didn’t want to go)

This expense included paying for my passport to which I agreed to pay back. This was a lot as was a same day turn around. Obviously my passport, my expense, but I did agree to paying more for something when what I would’ve done was simply waited until travel was completely necessary or when I could have afforded to renew. On this two night trip friend spent just under £100 on food and drink and even though he had insisted on paying for everything I did pay for an activity for myself that we did together which was just under a hundred. When I paid for this he did say are you sure you can afford it and I said yes but it will mean I can’t give you any of what I owe you this month.

Due to other business travel arrangements we have not seen or heard from each other a great deal recently and out of the blue I receive a message saying “please can you pay back the £250 bank card debt and £130 passport fee”.
To which I answered “no, actually, I can’t. Do you think I have a spare £380”?
His reply “it’s been two months, and you still haven’t paid last years debt”

AIBU to be hurt that he is making me out to be a terrible bad debt person when he only told me mid feb how much I owed on the bank card and it was only payday yesterday. He also knows how much I earn and that I cannot afford the bank debt and passport in the same month.

OP posts:
JaneEyre70 · 27/02/2018 22:33

If someone is good enough to lend you money, they should never have to ask for it back. You are the very worst kind of friend there is. Stop spending money you don't have, and pay your debts off.

PercyPigAddict · 27/02/2018 22:33

Totally off topic. but was he trying to sleep with you? Giving you his bank card, pressuring you into going on holiday with him... is he calling in the debts now because you turned him down? #nosy

Knittedfairies · 27/02/2018 22:33

And you think he's unreasonable? Stop messing him about and sort this out.

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece · 27/02/2018 22:34

Presuming I spent almost 300 on friend for Christmas and about the same again on my immediate family Is a typo because nobody is that fucking stupid surely

HopefullyAnonymous · 27/02/2018 22:34

What did you buy him for Christmas?

Glumglowworm · 27/02/2018 22:35

Either this is a reverse or you’re both fucking stupid

You don’t waste money on extravagant presents and holidays when you owe your friend hundreds of pounds that you are already not paying back as much as you agreed to.

LineysHorseWithNoName · 27/02/2018 22:35

Well, what kind of a person accepts a £300 Xmas present from a broke friend and goes on at them to go on a holiday they can't afford?

fearfultrill · 27/02/2018 22:36

Why on earth are you borrowing all of this money from friends when you can afford to spend £300 on one person's Christmas present.

No wonder he's got sick of it this is ridiculous! Stop borrowing and spending unnecessarily!!!

AdalindSchade · 27/02/2018 22:37

Why did you spend £300 on him st Christmas? That's not normal behaviour at all!

LineysHorseWithNoName · 27/02/2018 22:37

Shagging involved somewhere.

MarthasGinYard · 27/02/2018 22:38

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SillySallySingsSongs · 27/02/2018 22:38

You can't seriously think you are in the right.

Pay your friend back and stop borrowing money!

DalekDalekDalek · 27/02/2018 22:38
Shock

What a complete CF! Take a long look at yourself OP!

ReanimatedSGB · 27/02/2018 22:40

What I wonder is why the friend was so insistent on lending OP more money when she hadn't paid back her previous borrowing. I mean, OP, I think you've been pretty silly about this, but I also think this friend of yours has been up to something: possibly, as a PP said, he wants to get into your knickers and, now it's clear you are not going to let him get his dick wet, he's going to cut his losses and get back what money he can from you.

C0untDucku1a · 27/02/2018 22:40

Percy i was about to ask if op was having sex with this man.

Yabu. Have you paid the £50 this month? Set up a dd to pay what you can each month and explajn it. You have been very, very cheeky to try and get away with not paying it back. Very reckless.

Now im wondering if he wants to sleep with you and you are using that to et the loans.

Mrsmadevans · 27/02/2018 22:41

I am wondering if your 'friend' wanted benefits ? When they weren't forthcoming did he turn nasty then and demand his money back? Just a thought but you haven't really given us enough info OP .

BackforGood · 27/02/2018 22:41

Agree with everyone else.
YAB V U.
Surely nobody could seriously think it is 'the friend' being unreasonable in these scenarios ? Hmm

TallulahBetty · 27/02/2018 22:42

To quote the Cha Cha Slide;

Reverse, reverse!
Reverse, reverse!

BonnieF · 27/02/2018 22:43

You spent £600 that you hadn’t got on Christmas presents you can’t afford? That is just crazy, and completely irresponsible.

Accept responsibility for your financial decisions and spending choices.
Apologise to your friends and stop abusing their good nature.
Pay your debts.
Do a proper budget.
Stick to it.
Live within your means.

FrancisCrawford · 27/02/2018 22:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mrsmadevans · 27/02/2018 22:43

If he is trying to threaten you into bed OP, you really need to involve the police.

Viviennemary · 27/02/2018 22:45

Pay up and stop scrounging off people. Easy to be generous with other folks money.

Wdigin2this · 27/02/2018 22:46

Why the hell are you spending £££'s on friend's presents, being pressurised into holidays you can't afford....and borrowing money you're not in a position to repay?? Get your finances sorted, live within your budget, and don't borrow from friends again!

newcarsmell · 27/02/2018 22:46

😂😂😂😂 no one is this stupid

Knittedfairies · 27/02/2018 22:46

That's a bit of a leap, Mrsmadevans....