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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

When you're collecting your child from an after school playdate do you do this?

165 replies

AjasLipstick · 26/02/2018 08:17

STAY TOO LONG?

Seriously. DD aged 9's friend came over this evening (we're in Australia) for an after school play.

Her Mum had said she'd come to collect at 5.30.

great.

As usual, she arrived with her husband and their other three kids.

They stayed "chatting" to me for AN HOUR! On a school night when I have been working all day....I work from home. I stop work to pick kids up and then usually need to continue after bedtime.

WHY!? For the love of God!?

OP posts:
myusernamewastakenbyme · 26/02/2018 08:43

Oh goddd i used to hate that...i had one mum who would turn up at 7pm and still be chatting to me at gone 9pm....thankfully this hell ends when they start high school....

HuskyMcClusky · 26/02/2018 08:45

Noooo. No no no.

I’m also in Australia (if it matters) and this is not acceptable.

I also have a super-friendly neighbour who drops round (I work from home) and yaps on the doorstep for an hour. WHY.

Original poster
AjasLipstick · 26/02/2018 08:47

Thank you!! I mean...they are perfectly nice people....he has a good and interesting career and she's an artist....with three small kids in addition to her older DD...so she must be busy right? They BOTH have to be tired?

Got shit to do?

Not according to my WATCH they don't!!

OP posts:
HollyBayTree · 26/02/2018 08:47

Make sure the visiting child has her coat an and is ready to go when Mum arrives.

It is within your remit to stop these conversations - "Lovely to see you, here's Mary, she had Madagascan cheese cake sprinkled with gold flecks Morrisons, to die for , they all played nicely, off you go Mary, byee" do not let them in your house, do not offer tea/coffee, do not let them past the door step.

HuskyMcClusky · 26/02/2018 08:49

Be grateful they at least fuck off back to their own neighbourhood. 😂 I can’t even invent an appointment to go to, as my neighbour can see from his house whether I leave mine!!

Deshasafraisy · 26/02/2018 08:50

She must like you and want to be your friend.

Original poster
AjasLipstick · 26/02/2018 08:52

Husky Oh god NO!

Fraisy do you think so?

OP posts:
ForkIt · 26/02/2018 08:54

Or, if you like her, ask her to pick up earlier and factor in the chat?

HuskyMcClusky · 26/02/2018 08:55

Yes, seriously - I’ve considered getting a door for the carport just so they can’t see at a glance that I’m home! (And I actually like them, but ARRGH!)

Mrsramsayscat · 26/02/2018 08:56

I still remember the worst offenders amongst my kids friends in the past. Including the one whose child began all sorts of ridiculous antics the moment she arrived, so she stayed for an hour pleading with him till I seized him myself.

rocketgirl22 · 26/02/2018 09:01

I wait in the garden with coat, bag, child shoes firmly on.

I have been kind enough to host said children for hours, I am usually desperately in need of quiet time and to tidy the house.

Suggest a coffee one morning if you feel she wants to make friends when you are more in the mood for chatting.

Or invite them all over for organised dinner when you are prepared - but the outstaying your welcome thing is too much.

Sparklingbrook · 26/02/2018 09:02

I did learn early on that the best way to ensure any after school play dates finished to my schedule. I would be the one to take the little visitor home. Quick hi on drop off then back in the car.

GnotherGnu · 26/02/2018 09:06

Don't sit down, call their DD and get her coat. If they're still standing around chatting, trill "Well, I mustn't keep you, you'll be needing to get the little ones fed and off to bed" and open the door.

EveryoneTalkAboutPopMusic · 26/02/2018 09:07

I did what Sparkling suggests and it’s slways worked out fine.

Notasunnybunny · 26/02/2018 09:10

Sparklingbrook, that’s a great idea. It also males looking like you are on your way to something else easy

Sparklingbrook · 26/02/2018 09:13

When they said 'Are you sure you don't won't me to collect?' I would say I was going to the supermarket (or similar) anyway so would be out and about later.

Sparklingbrook · 26/02/2018 09:13

*want

fluffyrobin · 26/02/2018 09:15

This is easy, text to say you have a conference call at pick up time.

Get said child ready as soon as you see parents arrive.

Feign being on phone so your eyes don't meet theirs and wave/gesture at them goodbye with no dialogue.

Repeat Wink

Mumto2two · 26/02/2018 09:19

Wow..what's the world coming to, when we can even find complaint with people being friendly...
Sorry, I just don't get this. No matter how busy or tired I might be, I will always welcome a friendly face.

Original poster
AjasLipstick · 26/02/2018 09:20

Gnu I bloody didn;t sit down! I asked DD to go and help her friend get her bag and coat and shoes and they did this whilst the parents stood in my hallway talking to me. Or at me.

The kids came back with the stuff and then the smaller siblings made a bolt for the playroom...the parents didn't stop them or take that as their cue to leave but smiled gently and carried on talking!

Their DD and mine then followed the little ones into the playroom and supervised the tiniest around inappropriately small toys! I kept thinking "They'll go in a minute!" but they didn't!

They just kept talking and talking.

Eventually the kids were quiet so I said "Oh maybe they're up to something!" and took off...they'd all gone and got some apples and were sitting in a circle eating them.

OP posts:
Original poster
AjasLipstick · 26/02/2018 09:22

I can't drive so can't deliver their child. I like the idea of a conference call. I may prime my older child to phone me on my mobile as an alternative...she'll be in her own room usually!

OP posts:
Original poster
AjasLipstick · 26/02/2018 09:22

I want to know....WHY do people do this?

OP posts:
disappearingninepatch · 26/02/2018 09:24

I have the opposite problem. When I go to collect my child, I don't want to go in, drink coffee and chat with the parents, while there is no sign of my child. Give me my child!!!

HuskyMcClusky · 26/02/2018 09:26

Sorry, I just don't get this. No matter how busy or tired I might be, I will always welcome a friendly face.

Yeah, so do I...just not for an HOUR when I need to work. I’m happy for you that your schedule is so open, it must be lovely, but most people’s isn’t.

frieda909 · 26/02/2018 09:27

Haha this reminds me of when I was little, you’d always try to persuade the mums to ‘have a coffee’ together as it meant you got more playtime with your friend. With hindsight, my mum probably did not appreciate all the times I yelled down the stairs ‘WHY DON’T YOU COME IN FOR A COFFEE?’ at my friends’ mums when she was presumably desperate to get rid of them Blush

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