When you're collecting your child from an after school playdate do you do this?

[AjasLipstick]

STAY TOO LONG?

Seriously. DD aged 9's friend came over this evening (we're in Australia) for an after school play.

Her Mum had said she'd come to collect at 5.30.

great.

As usual, she arrived with her husband and their other three kids.

They stayed "chatting" to me for AN HOUR! On a school night when I have been working all day....I work from home. I stop work to pick kids up and then usually need to continue after bedtime.

WHY!? For the love of God!?

Someone on the Spectrum needs to be told directly even more, sorry, as they're unlikely to pick up on subtle signals. And why should they be offended? It may be that they are incapable of ending conversations so have been stuck for an hour!

How do you have an inability to know when to stop talking?!

I suppose it's only polite to be friendly with the people who are looking after your child the most precious thing in your life instead of acting like they are babysitters - childminders.

I wouldn't be interested in looking after someone's child who had no interest in me at all.

But an unscheduled hour is way over the top.

It’s not the same as childminding because presumably you’ve invited the child over at your child’s request!

I have no reason to suspect either parent is on the spectrum. I know a number of people who are and they do not show any indication of this. At all.

If you can recognise embarrassment, confusion and relief, pollymere, you can't be nearly as socially awkward as you suggest.
Surely you realise nobody wants to chat for hours at the end of a play date when they're getting ready to make dinner / start the evening, no matter how interesting your conversation is?
Invite people round for coffee. Choose your setting. It's not difficult at all.

How do you have an inability to know when to stop talking?! Quite easily. We're too polite. If someone is talking to us and we're bored stiff, we just carry on doing the motions of polite conversation. If we want to get rid of someone, the classic way of telling them the conversation is ended is "well I mustn't keep you", which is not much use to someone who takes things literally and simply reassures you that they've got all the time in the world.

Pollymere has expressed exactly the way I feel. Why can I recognise my inappropriate behaviour? Because I've had years and years in which to read books, read things like mumsnet, watch television, and slowly understand some of the things that I never learned while growing up, like other people did. So there isn't any contradiction between understanding something of social interaction and having the experience of being socially inept, and understanding what that feels like and how it is made worse by other peoples reaction.

I always "generously" offered to take any visiting children home.

Definitely drop back if you can. You’re in charge of timings then. I appreciate not always practical, but I hated it when parents were late. I’d rather pop in the car than be waiting during my baby/toddlers witching hour for a child to get collected.

She doesn't drive

Maybe you are the only person they have interacted with that day??

That’s not really OP’s fault or problem though in fairness!

Maybe you are the only person they have interacted with that day??

Yes! Turns up with her husband and 3 more kids??!! Seriously?

How odd... DS is far too long but seeing as we rock, paper, scissors to see who has to take him to play dates now; I can't imagine we would want to mingle when he's older.

I think I'd say hang on! Then nip out of the room, come back and say "I can run the bath now you've arrived!" Then there's a time limit where you have to say OK CANT HAVE THE BATH OVERFLOW BETTER GOOOOOOOOO