‘Women who dress like slags cheapen the rest of us’.

[Eltonjohnssyrup]

Said by my mother who is as left wing as Trotsky, a Corbynista and a self identified feminist.

I did say to her at the time that I thought using the word ‘slag’ was wrong. But my sons were there at the time and although two of them are too young to understand I find it worrying they might internalise that kind of thing.

We have a fractious relationship anyway (she used to call me promiscuous as an older teenager because I’d had a snog and a grope). So I don’t want to cause a lot of friction. But I wonder if I should send her an email saying that isn’t acceptable.

I think it's just as unfair and untrue to state unequivocally that women who disapprove of other women's clothing choices are jealous, as it is to say that the women they disapprove of are slags, desperate for male attention etc. Some are, no doubt. Others have different reasons, e.g. religious, cultural.

I stand up for anyone's right to wear whatever they damn' well please, or nothing at all (currently not socially acceptable, but when you get right down to it, why not?). However, I also stand up for my own right to judge whether it's suitable attire for the occasion, and whether I personally think it's a good look in the first place. I don't, for example, think that very short skirts and masses of eyeliner are a good look for the office. On a night out it's fabulous and why wouldn't you, and yes, in that circumstance I might be jealous of your youth and figure (I used to have Legs too, back in the day) - but not of your clothing, because I have the right and the ability to wear the same any time I choose. I'd definitely be jealous of a young woman looking amazing in a bikini on the beach - I've never had the figure for one, always been a bit tubby round the middle - but if I met her in the office corridor wearing the same bikini, I'd be thinking "wtf?" rather than "oh, I wish I dared/looked nice enough to wear a swimsuit to work". Apart from anything else you could get something vital caught in the machinery.

@Shoxfordian

You seem to be under the impression that being a feminist means you're unable to criticise (internally or vocally) any other woman.

It is not misogyny to do so. Women are not some homogeneous group who needs to stick together and overcome our oppressors.

Thinking someone dresses inappropriately or badly is not misogyny.

People are judged by their appearance which is why people interviewing for good jobs dress well.

I used to dress in very short skirts, little tops and knee high boots , lots of make up ECT when I was younger and going out. I was called a slag/ slut. I did enjoy one night stands and had plenty of sex I don't understand how this affected anyone else no one had to look at me no one had to dress like me and the sex I had was between me and then men so why would anyone be bothered? I once had a women on a train who I had never seen call me a dirty slag I mean why because you don't like how I dressed? Everyone can wear what they want and If women want to enjoy sex with different people so what. It makes me mad that women have to judge other women just because they have a different style/ opinions / priorities. Wouldn't it be boring if everyone was the same.

I hate the term slag.
But I do find women who dress in tight clothes, showing the shape of their breasts (worse in low cut tops) and bottoms (in short skirts), or those who dye their hair blonde and wear red lipstick and nail varnish, something which I can't take seriously or trust their intelligence.
I know that is my issue and many may disagree. But I would assume if a woman wanted to portray herself in that way she would also be of an attitude where she cannot take things seriously since all she would be judged on is her body and sexuality as opposed to true strengths such as intelligence, wisdom and respectability. It would seem like all she is bothered about is attracting men.
Sorry.

I suppose Holly Willoughby would be what I describe. And I'm not jealous as pps may claim. I could buy clothes like that and dye my hair but decide not to.

@4 funnels

Calling someone a slag isn't just a comment meaning they've dressed inappropriately or you don't like their outfit.

Slag is a term meaning promiscuous woman, liking sex or having had too much sex, it implies low morals- to the people who use it. I don't think having sex means low morals or that you can have too much sex.

It's not an acceptable thing to say about anyone and it's definitely misogynistic.

I don't think being a feminist means you can't criticise other women; I do think being a feminist means you probably shouldn't use misogynistic language to describe women in a derogatory way.

Disliked the term 'slag' 30 years ago at school, I'm sorry it's still used today. Wrong and misogynistic.

As for the idea that all women are jealous of more sexily dressed women? Wrong and stupid.

Bloody hell we have swept right past the fifties. Next we’ll be hearing women deserve to be raped due to wearing ‘provocative clothing’. Sigh

You’ll have to pry Ruby Woo out of my cold, dead hands (with painted acrylic nails, no less). If that makes you doubt my intelligence, starlightafar, it says more about you than it does about me.

Isn't it a feminist theory that dressing in 'man-pleasing' clothes is never a free choice but a sign of patriarchal compliance, and that by doing so you promote negative attitudes about other women?

It might be the mother in question is trying to make a feminist statement but lacks the academic vocabulary to make it clear.

Slags, sluts, whores and such like are misogynistic words to keep women in their place. It’s okay for men to sleep around and dress how they please, but women get labelled.

Teach your sons not to label women OP or they will look common just like their grandmother. People who use words like these sound like they are uncouth.

What does it mean to 'cheapen' someone? I've never seen a price tag...

Where I live a slag is more than likely to be a dirty person - male or female.

Someone who keeps a dirty house and has an unclean appearance.

" I don’t think there’s anything wrong with referring to some women as slags.

My Mum and I have certainly always done this, as have my friends. Some women do look like, and/or act like slags.

I wouldn’t necessarily agree with your Mum’s comment that women who dress like slags cheapen other women though. I think it makes those of us who dress and act like ladies stand out for the right reasons."

Vile. Utterly vile. ladies and slags? Jesus, why do we need the patriarchy when we have women like this amongst us?

My DP ex refers to other women as sluts and whores. Its one reason she's miserable and alone and divorced.

"Isn't it a feminist theory that dressing in 'man-pleasing' clothes is never a free choice but a sign of patriarchal compliance"

Yes, but so is dressing modestly then because you're still dressing based on showing your sexuality or not and we're all somewhere on the spectrum between a bikini and a burkah.

All else being equal, I'd more likely hire a woman dressed "like a slag" at interview than someone of either sex who referred to women that way.

In fact if I got wind of the latter, I'd do my utmost to sift them out before they even reached that stage.

Usually women who do so are of lower intelligence

Oh the irony! troll

iBiscuit, you can't honestly say that a gentleman, a decent guy is going to be interested in a woman who dresses this way, can you? Decent men do not respect women who dress like this, they really don't.

Decent men (and women for that matter) respect others regardless of their clothing, assuming it's not downright offensive. And they certainly don't refer to women as "bucket fanny".

Op, you say that you’d ‘much rather make friends with a slag than with me.’ Go ahead, I’m not stopping you. I couldn’t tolerate being friends with someone who is so highly strung, and completely unaccepting of other’s opinions, or even their words anyway.

Au revoir!

Argeles I'm not sure it's particularly ladylike to refer to other women as slags...

Maybe it's ladylike if one does so whilst drinking tea from a dainty teacup?

Toby

Gosh how horrible your world must be. Disgusting vocabulary. Poor you having such a horrible upbringing to think using expressions like that are acceptable.

Op I wouldn’t allow sons of mine to be exposed to language like that. My sons and daughters have been brought up to judge people by how they act and behave to others not how they dress or if they have ‘blond hair and red lipstick’

Dear god this thread is depressing

Why on earth would bucket fanny be apt for women who dress more provocatively?

Can you clarify?